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Great advice here! I am going to check out that book and the ap you mentioned.

There is no harm in giving it a few practice runs before you are successful. It took me several tries. I would make it a few days, a week, and got all the way up to 18 days once before I decided to taper off and stay off for good.

Have I had to relearn how to work? Yes and no. That was me doing to the work on adderall, not the pill. The pill causes dopamine to be released which makes everything interesting. It makes whatever you are doing enjoyable so you can focus and enjoy unpleasant tasks. I’m still the same person so I just had to figure out how to make myself interested in what I’m doing. I figured this out because there was so much I dreaded to do after the pill, but I realized when I was playing video games, I could lock in and stay focused for hours. I didn’t need a pill. There are ways to trick yourself into getting yourself motivated to do work you don’t like and enjoy it. The trick is to break down large tasks into simple steps and start attacking the smaller ones. As you complete each one your brain will release some dopamine and you will gain momentum. You just have make yourself start. If you have trouble there, set a timer for 15 minutes. Promise yourself you will work on that task the best to your ability and will give yourself a reward like a 5 minute break after. Do that a few times an you will see that you can do this. Some days may be harder than others but this method works no matter what shape you are in. Ive gotten to the point to where I don’t have to do that any more most days. As along as I eat healthy and stay away from processed foods, exercise and sleep I can work all day and stay focused now. I tapered off and had quit alcohol when I quit over 2 years ago. I was depressed before and my depression went away when I quit. I did have some anxiety that would come and go. Not anymore. I think no alcohol was the key. Insomnia came and went for a while. I took naps in the afternoon that helped when I couldn’t sleep well at night. It was incredibly effective. Back to working, I would recommend the book What to do when there is too much to do by Laura Stack. She teaches a great method for breaking down tasks in a way that will boost productivity in half the time which is a godsend for anyone trying to work while recovering. I also recommend searching for any info in help with adhd because those are the symptoms you get when stopping the pill. I still use the app FocusAtWill for brown/pink/white noise types of sounds to help me hyper focus at work

Hi how are you feeling now? I stopped on January 19 2024. I still have too much anxiety but I know part of it is the dage I did to my life while I was abusing Adderall. I also know that outside of this forum, no one understands what we are going through. At least not yet. Few people who have abused Adderall long term can even get off Adderall let alone stay off. So congratulations to you and all of us. I might go off coffee to see if it helps the anxiety. Hope you're well!

I use a balanced combination of supplements that I used to quit caffeine from upsetting my stomach and causing anxiety. After medical research I purchased L-Tyrosine 500 mg caps, a balanced multivitamin that had 100% DV of Vitamin B6, B9 "Folate", and copper, with NAC 600 mg capsules, and Glutathione 500 mg medical grade caps all from Amaz**. The daily dosage is all at one time 1,000 mg L-Tyrosine, One multivitamin, 1200 mg NAC, 500 mg Glutathione, and about 1/4 Teaspoon of organic powdered ginger. All together, this is as close to my old coffee habit that caused me major problems with anxiety as I have been able to get without negative side effects. Great focus, stamina, clarity, and mood all to benefit. "No" disturbances of PH Balance, nervousness, anxiety, or stomach churning spasms like with coffee and energy drinks. I am not a doctor and this is for informational purposes only for everyone that reads or copies this article. Happy days.

Thank you for sharing. This sounds so much like my husband, and we’re really trying to find a way to make the plunge to fully quit. I’m curious, how long did it take you to start feeling somewhat normal (ish) after quitting? I know it’s months to years for the brain to try to recover, but just curious if you remember any kind of timeline of when some things started coming back to you or going away? Your dosages and timeline are very similar to where he’s at.

Unfortunately, I relapsed a week after my last post in August, and then owing to a personal tragedy, stayed in relapsed until December. From December to February I had two full months clean before relapsing again. Is there a lesson to be learned? Relapse can happen for the smallest, stupidest reason, but it doesn't make it any less of a relapse. I'm quitting today. For good.

I had all of the above. I’ve been off of it for over a year now and although some days it’s hard I feel like I don’t need it anymore to get through the work day. Your brain needs time to recover and remember it can do things without the drug.

I had extreme anxiety when I quit.. it’s normal and gets better. I had to start on Paxil 10 mg to curb the symptoms but it’s been year and 4 months now and I’m doing much better. Keep up the good work!

I don't know what is going on with me at this point. I’ve been off Adderall for approximately three months with the first two weeks being the worst. I am having anxiety on a daily basis. Of course my thoughts are to take a pill but I’m not going to throw away three months just to experiment. I have also taken benzos forever along with Adderall but didn't expect to need them when i quit adderall . Does anybody else experience anxiety after quitting adderall? Thanks for being here. This is the only place I trust that I will read actual experience of Adderall users..

Have you been able to relearn how to work without use of this drug? Did you have Depression? Lack of motivation? anxiety? insomnia? I have all these and wonder if it will get better. I've been adderall free since january 19 2024. today is march 15 2024. Thanks,

Hi anyone here. It is March 15 2024 now, I quit January 19th. I have all those symptoms you described above. The weirdest thing is that I expected to be sleeping like a baby and tired and lethargic but i have non stop anxiety and can't sit still and cannot sleep without sleep aids, in my case, clonopan and gabapentin. So now I am going to have to go through literal hell to get off those demonic drugs. I would say I am mostly dysfunctional. I wasn't very functional before which is why I finally decided to quit for good. Adderall made me feel hopeful that I could be ok but I never actually read more, never did well at my social work job (documenting for hours and retyping sentences well into the night). Maybe this gets better later maybe not but I need some help, mostly getting shit done. Did NA have ideas for this? Thanks

Tell me not to pick up my prescription tomorrow even though I'm eagerly waiting for it to be refilled

HAHAHA! It's March! How is it March 11, 2024? It was just recently October of 2022 when I was sitting in a coffee shop and writing a dumb little "dialogue" with some kind of personified Satan telling me to take 40mg instead of the prescribed 20mg. Just once. Just to get over a rough period of time with a high workload. I have very odd memories from the last 16 or so months. Maybe up to 20 months. Is it just me or do I get the impression that fewer people are sharing information about Adderall addiction in 2024 than, say, 2010.? I was just a little kid back then but--sifting through forums like this one--it seems like that epoch [early to late 2000s] experienced a sort of Renaissance of people who'd discover this "hidden under-current" of hyper-productivity and create social atmospheres that reinforced it and then eventually crash and try to find some kind of redemption. Is that 85% gone or am I just not looking hard enough for support networks? I have to say: this is a damn lonely endeavor... quitting Adderall. I may be able to talk virtually on forums like this but when I try to explain this experience to my coworkers they often look at me like I'm doing something righteous with my abuse of this drug. And that's how I rationalize it to myself. And the Western Judeo-Christian thought process... when it exists inside a religious person that I try to talk to... doesn't really know how to respond to my venting. They're much more used to people talking about sexual immorality or alcoholism or even speed but not this nice comfy and motivating gem of Adderall... which can flow through your system without many noticeable effects on the outside, while making you a skillful, righteous, creative, driven laborer on the inside. Everyone loves you! You yourself become creative and interesting and you can weave a nice narrative about yourself in your own mind out of memory of your meaningful work. Fortunately this time when I relapsed--after 16 days sober--the highest dose I was on was 30mg. This is unbelievable progress for me. I didn't even pull a single all-nighter in these 7-days of active use. Can you guys help? Where do I go from here? I developed a certain kind of addiction to my own breathing (specifically hyperventilation) and somehow--even when I'm not on Adderall--I often am compulsively aware of my own breathing while trying to sit down and do mental labor. I exercise a lot, which helps, but clearly it doesn't eliminate the mental temptation patterns. I am morbidly terrified of seeking professional help or "confessing" my "sin". Is that even a sensible way to think about this problem... as a sin? Isn't it more like a sickness? But a sickness of what? It can't be a psychological sickness alone because after 5-days of withdrawal I'm fine! I can come across as funny, interesting, even productive to other people without a single milligram of Adderall in my system. I don't even necessarily experience any sort of moment-to-moment "depression". Is it really just a metaphor to call this a "sickness of the spirit"? I am disgusted by the cynicism, hedonism, nihilism of the world... by how awfully young people like me conduct their lives. It seems as if my emotional or affective system is super-glued or perhaps fused to whatever part of my head makes rational judgments and so... every time I experience something like boredom, I rationalize the boredom into the conclusion that "Life and responsibility have left me. I have no real, meaningful, tangible responsibilities. What am I doing here? Why don't I just stay in this blithe coma and keep stumbling blindly through life.?" And then even when I'm on Adderall... when I experience those secondary effects of increased anxiety and such... I am repenting and hyper-rationalizing the stupidity of my decision while "enjoying" and utilizing the effect of the drug! I am presenting my body and limbs and face to the external world as one kind of character... and intrapsychically I am killing hundreds of ideas per minute as new ones are being born against my will. "When will I finish the homework? After I finish my shift. What am I doing in this shift? Feeding the middle class. Why am I feeding the middle class if there are dozens of health crises plaguing people because they don't get enough physical exercise. Why can't I just do 10 push-ups right now to give myself a bit of subtle endorphins to clarify my thoughts and set myself straight? Because I'm being morally righteous here washing these dishes. What's so righteous about washing these dishes here? Well, for one, it develops a certain kind of humility? Humility?! After this I'm going home to a cushioned middle class home in the most prosperous country in the world and I get to get 8 or 9 full hours of sleep! Wow, what an idiot! No, back to the task at hand!!" Multiply that by several hours each day for months on end... whether I'm on Adderall or not.! When I'm trying to do homework, on the other hand, I often read a paragraph of text and then close my eyes and visually imagine the representation of the abstract concept while imagining in my mind's eye... writing a paragraph response in my own words while deep-breathing. Then I'd open my eyes and jot something down for 17 seconds and read the next page. And I lost all touch with what it really means to study something. What is studying? To my subconscious it's a time of rabid indulgence in the value of ideas from the external world. The Western world does a rather poor job artistically representing pathologies like this. We have all the operational definitions and DSM diagnostic criteria and science-oriented mental health media in the world... and yet it's all aimed at some future that's... well, it's just the re-establishment of a "stable carnival of efficient human motion". Freeways. Red lights. Green lights. Buildings with doors and heating systems and plumbing systems. Brooms to sweep the floors. Courts to judge the sinners. All institutions.. all forms of human action... every twitch of the muscle... is operationally defined, sequenced in a socially-agreed context, and played out in a manner that's mildly pleasurable at all times. PEOPLE, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? HEAR ME, PLEASE! There's something odd about human nature where--when someone is crying for help in a way that's hyper-intelligent and maybe a bit excessive--the initial tendency is to turn your head and quickly look away. I've lost the only friend group I've had in my entire life 4 years ago because I was talking for MONTHS about how meaningless I felt life was. This was before I ever started really abusing Adderall. But see, what's my point? My point is I'm HERE! I'm AWAKE! I'm CIVILIZED! I expend herculean energy to be sane in the face of society and it's become a skill. I'm not some bum who poses an immediate threat to your safety. I'm just asking for a bit of social support. A reminder that maybe my thoughts--absurd and disgruntled as they are--were brought into being as part of this "spiritual war" I'm fighting. I can't be the only one fighting this, right?

Everything you are experiencing will pass. I wouldn’t trust any of your emotions for a while if I were you. They will be all over the place. You are through the toughest parts already. You are in competition with who you were yesterday. Just focus on beating that person everyday. You will still probably have a really bad day pop up here and there. It’s normal. Just do what you have to get by when you do and know that they will come less often the longer you get on your journey. Don’t let the bad days discourage in thinking you are going backwards. You aren’t. It is a part of healing. Just pop on Netflix when it happens and try to find something enjoyable to do. I would suggest you embrace ChatGPT while you are trying to recover. Put everything you write in there and have it critique you or make it more coherent. Have it check your work. Ask it for advice. Make it organize your tasks. Lean on it as a crutch for work and be thankful you decided to quit at a time when it is available. As for the rest just keep pushing through. You will see some big improvements soon. I’m at 26 months on my journey. best of luck

kaizen

retired

An update-- today I am at 102 days. It's been a roller coaster. I am losing the weight (currently 24 lbs away from the weight I was when I stopped) and anticipate getting back to my starting weight in two months if things continue to go well. Right now I am looking for simple work and my largest struggles are brain fog (though this is improving), horrible anxiety, insomnia, being highly socially awkward to the point where I mess up a lot in conversation and say things that feel like they don't really fit at times, and low energy/fatigue. At times, I have been getting very frustrated because I want to be doing so much more than is possible right now at this stage of recovery. I want to be out of my parents house, working an adult job with my degree, out meeting people and dating and living a normal life and going out with friends and not living like this. I feel so behind everyone my own age right now and fat and dumb and socially awkward. It sucks but I knew this was coming when I stopped. I know it will be worth it in the end and I don't have another choice if I want to have a real future. I really regret having allowed myself to gain so much weight during the first couple months but I am trying to remember I won't be like this for much longer if I keep up my diet and exercise regimen. Cravings are strong but they pass. The weight gain does trigger some cravings especially as I come out of the fog more and more and look down at a totally different body than the one I used to inhabit. I also get really worried and panic at times that I screwed up my life irreparably, especially during the later stages (last two years) of my use where I started to abuse Adderall to get shit done and be up for days at a time (in the last year of my use). A lot of what seemed sane to me on the pill, especially in the later stages, was totally insane and I burned a lot of bridges. These memories of the horror of my life on the pill and the terrible mistakes I made continue to keep me sober. Also, I can say with confidence that I would not be sober from this pill today or even alive probably without these forums and I am eternally grateful they exist. No one in my life really understands what I am going through. I would have given up on ever having a life off of this drug if I did not know that my current cognitive deficits and symptoms were a normal part of PAWs and recovery from this drug. My writing skills are still not what they used to be on the Adderall but I hope someone benefits from me sharing my experience. While I am still very early in my recovery, I can say for sure that things are getting better. Slowly, but surely. You get to a point where you feel amazing sometimes and it all feels so worth it and so right. Right now I am not having one of those days/moments but they are powerful enough to keep me going during these dark hours and days. I hope this made sense and I am sorry if it did not. I have horrible brain fog writing this but wanted to put it out there.

Hi QA Community, I decided to make a chart this morning to keep a logical frame of mind regarding stimulant abuse and keep the negative consequences UP FRONT AND CENTER so that I do not start thinking positively about the substance again and stay on the right track. I would love to continue this list of pros and cons if anyone else wants to add to the list with me.

You are on a pretty low dose but honestly it’s just a mental game. Your brain tells you that you need it but you will surprise yourself with what you can actually accomplish without it. Motivation follows action you just got to force yourself to do what you need to do and it eventually gets easier. That’s my experience any way.

working hard

I’m so impressed with you moms who are doing it/off of it and doing well. So refreshing to read! I still can’t get past what to do in the morning to turn my brain on without my 2.5mgs. I know it’s low but still can’t seem to get going without it and then continue to pop a 2-4 more 2.5mgs throughout the day. Coffee makes me so irritable. Will I get used to it or are there other suggestions of morning routines and or brain activators for us moms of young kiddos? I have 4 under 7 and feel like I’m drowning! Hence why I’m scared to face the exhaustion but so badly want to be done with this.

Beyond impressed!!! You should be so proud!!!