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  1. Today
  2. Lawyer Trying to Quit Vyvanse - Any Advice?

    I like my job but I am overcommitted and I don't know how to decrease it right now. And it's not sustainable without adderall. I keep trying but it's too much. So then I give in to the adderall. Ugh.
  3. Lawyer Trying to Quit Vyvanse - Any Advice?

    could not relate to all of this more. stuck in the vicious cycle.
  4. I wish for more connection...

    We are in the process of setting up a zoom meeting - more details to come when we figure it out.
  5. Yesterday
  6. To be completely honest, you will be a whole new person. However, that new person will feel emotionally stable, will not be thrown in every direction by their emotion and feelings, will be able to sleep like a normal human being at night, will eat their food at regular intervals, will listen to their family and friends speak and listen to understand, not to respond. That person will develop empathy for others. That person will start to experience real emotions again. That person will begin to develop real relationships. Based on real connections and not trauma. I consider everything a loss now that I am Adderall free. If I had to lose friends, my job or anything else to be clean, so be it. That's the really scary part about quitting Adderall. Because your life will change exponentially. That's why you have to want to be clean by any means more than anything else in this world. You have to come to the point where taking Adderall is no longer a choice for you. You have to choose recovery every day of your life for a very long time. I won't sit here and lie to you. It's a gruesome process and it takes a long time to feel normal again. You will have to put your life as you know it on the backburner and be open to change in all areas. That's why it's a journey only some of us choose to take. Society is so caught up in doing things really fast in a short period of time. Quitting Adderall will be the complete opposite. However, I will tell you that absolutely nothing you achieve on Adderall is worth the feeling of accomplishment we get from working hard to achieve a goal on our own. You cannot buy that feeling. You cannot pop a pill to get that feeling. Yes, we feel like imposters and a fraud while on Adderall not because we can't achieve high levels without the drug, but because we are so superhuman on Adderall that we expect that level of superiority when we are sober. Which is unattainable. We have set a standard that doesn't even exist unless we're high and that's a dangerous slippery slope. You will learn new revelations about yourself every day. Getting to know the real you can be scary but it is so rewarding, friend. Set out to be a warrior, this journey makes you resilient above all else. And after you have struggled for a while, you will be able to take on the world, without a drug, and nothing will be able to stop you. Your confidence will be authentic, and it will be sky-high. It's exhausting to keep up appearances with our Adderall self. Our days turn into weeks, into months, into years, then we wonder how we got here. On Adderall it's all about "what's next, what's next" In reality, life is not suppose to be like that. We should be mindful in everything we do, learn to be content in our current circumstances. The "what's next" mentality makes sure that we never enjoy anything in life. It allows us to only focus on the destination, so we miss out on every day of our lives. The destination usually never exists on Adderall because even if we got there, we would want to move on to the next thing. We gotta learn how to slow down and take things at the pace that the universe intended. Also, I do not miss Adderall-induced psychosis at all. That was hell on earth. Also, people notice that I am not strung out on speed anymore. And believe me, it's noticeable to other people even when we don't recognize it. You have to have the motivation and drive to be clean. It has to be in you to possess because trying to quit on willpower alone won't cut it. Recovery has to be your core concern for a while. I know you can do this. You know you're sick of living in an Adderall bubble. Break out I wish you all the best, we're always here to help you along
  7. hi @MahomeboyKC welcome to the forums - glad you finally decided to join us on the other side (: your concerns are completely valid. what you're experiencing is a fundamental existential crisis that Adderall creates because it is so hugely impactful on the way you think about everything. as you say, it's not just your work ethic or judgement - it's also what you enjoy doing, who you enjoy being around - basically everything. this was also one of the primary concerns that led me to quitting. it felt like there was an entirely different person living my Adderall life, but nothing that guy did really added any value to the "real me". the problem was the "real me" was so far gone and suppressed that i wasn't even sure he existed anymore. i'm sure you've read up on the acute withdrawal stuff (fatigue, depression, etc) - the first 90 days or so is more a battle of will power than anything. it is after this that the real challenge begins. i don't mean to scare you, but you may find that the person off the drug is a LOT different than the person on the drug (especially after a decade of use). this can be terrifying, but the quicker you accept this and embrace it as an opportunity for change, the better off you will be. i often think that the word "recovery" is a bit misleading. when you think of the upcoming challenge as a "return" to normal, you actually fall into the trap of waiting around and comparing everything to how it felt on Adderall. if instead you think of it as a re-creation or re-discovery of yourself, you can potentially avoid a lot of the frustration and feelings of hopelessness. do you have a plan in mind? a cut-off date? can you take some time off in the beginning?
  8. I wish for more connection...

    Купить Сумки
  9. Last week
  10. I wish for more connection...

    Just chiming in as a new forum member to let you know that I completely agree. Found this site a few hours ago and never felt the precise type of comfort knowing that there’s a community like this. I always thought no one (not even my psych) could ever understand the long term complexity of this drug and trying to quit.
  11. Maybe I haven't lost my mind

    ...thank God. Just stumbled upon this post and had been terrified of this as well, since I always notice in on the days before my refills. Glad to know it’s likely not permanent upon quitting
  12. One sentence personal history: Late twenty-something year old sr. level tech professional who has taken adderall since sophomore year in college (nearing a decade...Jesus) and wants to be done with it and live the happy life I lived before the drug. Ok now to the title of the post. I’ll cut the extras and get to the chase. It’s this off-putting feeling/experience of (after long term use and complete integration into my life) realizing and suffering the consequences of not having consistency with your drug-self vs non-drug self. Feeling like one half of you is basically a fraud at any given moment (especially while on adderall) and knowing that, “hey, this project that I just had a super serious conversation with my client about regarding it’s importance and necessary completion? I know for a fact that I’ll wake up tomorrow, sober, or Monday morning will come around and if you asked me how urgent or significant that same project was in the grand scheme of things, I’d tell you: “...probably not that big of a deal...””. Now, obviously that example could be it’s own little issue, but what I’m starting to experience in my adderall journey is that I notice and worry that that “disconnect between selves” could potentially be happening at a much larger scale in life now. Like time spent on certain hobbies. Friendships. Serious relationships... I just got out of a horribly emotionally abusive/manipulative relationship with my (ex) fiancé, which is great, but now as I start to make new friends and meet people and remake my life in a sense, I want to make sure that the person I’m showing to the outside world is the same one that will be there when I stop taking the drug. This is, after so many years, the final f*cking “side effect” of this drug that drove me to create an account on this forum and make this post. I’ve never been more sure of wanting out than right now. Sorry if I rambled or if the end of my post bears no resemblance to the start... #adderallThings Thank you!!
  13. Maybe I haven't lost my mind

    word salad! yea, this was the scariest side-effect post quitting for me. it literally felt like i had permanently damaged my communication systems - but as you've already discovered, it does come back (: congrats on a month clean! keep on keeping on
  14. I wish for more connection...

    A person who always battles Truth is heavy and difficult but pleasant how many countries in the world with his/her past, wont have future سایت های پیش بینی فوتبال بت 45 سایت شرط بندی معتبر بت 45 بهترین سایت شرط بندی بت 45 سایت بازی انفجار رایگان کازینو بازی انفجار آنلاین بهترین سایت پیش بینی بت بال 90 شرط بندی فوتبال تک بت پیش بینی فوتبال تک بت سایت شرط بندی takbet سایت تک بت فارسی شرط بندی آنلاین تک بت سایت جدید takbet اپلیکیشن شرط بندی تک بت پیش بینی فوتبال بت فوت سایت پیش بینی بت فوت شرط بندی فوتبال بت فوت سایت بت فوت آدرس سایت جدید بت فوت سایت تک شوت 90 سایت تک شوت تک شوت شرط بندی سایت پیش بینی فان بت پیش بینی کینگ بت 90 سایت شرط بندی کینگ بت پیش بینی فوتبال منوتوبت سایت پیش بینی فوتبال وین 90 شرط بندی فوتبال بت برو سایت بت برو اصلی شرط بندی استارت بت 90 سایت شرط بندی فوتبال استارت بت آدرس سایت بالاگل سایت بالاگل balagol سایت پیش بینی balagol سایت شرط بندی بالاگل balagol شرط بندی بالاگل شرط بندی بت پلاس سایت شرط بندی پاسور سایت شرط بندی پاسور ورق پاسور آنلاین شرط بندی پاسور آنلاین شرطی با پول سایت شرط بندی پاسور آنلاین سایت پوکر ایرانی شرطی پوکر آنلاین شرط بندی با پول بازی آنلاین پوکر شرطی بهترین سایت پوکر شرط بندی بهترین سایت پوکر آنلاین پولی پوکر شرطی پاسور بازی پوکر شرطی سایت بازی پوکر پولی شرط بندی پوکر آنلاین سایت پوکر با کارت شتاب بازی پوکر آنلاین شرط بندی پوکر آنلاین ایرانی تخته نرد شرطی تخته نرد انلاین رایگان تخته نرد شرطی با پول واقعی تخته نرد شرطی انلاین بازی حکم شرطی با پول سایت بازی حکم آنلاین شرطی حکم آنلاین شرط بندی بازی حکم آنلاین پولی شرط بندی بازی حکم واقعی سایت بازی حکم شرطی بازی رولت انلاين شرطی پولی سایت شرط بندی رول گیمز پیش بینی مسابقات فوتبال بهترین سایت پیش بینی فوتبال خارجی سایت های پیش بینی فوتبال سایت پیش بینی معتبر شرط بندی ست بت 90 ادرس سایت ست بت 90 سایت کازینو ایران سایت کانن بت پیش بینی فوتبال انلاین کنزو بت سایت شرط بندی کنزوبت شرط بندی معتبر لایو بت شرط بندی فوتبال مدال 90 سایت پیش بینی فوتبال بت 90 سایت پیش بینی bet90 سایت پیش بینی انلاین فوتبال bet90 بهترین سایت پیش بینی bet90 سایت شرط بندی bet90 شرط بندی فوتبال بت 90 بهترین سایت شرط بندی end
  15. Maybe I haven't lost my mind

    Nice work!! Getting that “oh I’m not broken” feeling was such a huge deal for me too. I’m only a little over a month out from you (62 days) but I promise you’ll keep seeing more and more progress, little by little, especially with conversations. I had to fly home this weekend for a family issue and I was so worried since I had been quarantining by myself for the last two months. Didn’t know how I could constantly be around family and have conversations all day without adderall, felt too soon. But honestly it has been easier than when I was on meds - I’m way less anxious, don’t have the adderall crash, and I have my personality back. I haven’t been as depressed too, and last week was reallllll bad.
  16. Maybe I haven't lost my mind

    Hey friends, Just wanted to share a milestone with you today. I haven't taken an Adderall pill for 28 days. I use to consume 80-240mg of XR daily for 4.5 years. Within the first week, I thought I had lost my mind. I wasn't able to string a sentence together when speaking out loud or while writing. I would be mid-conversation and the words I was looking for would just leave my mind and I would be left hanging. It's so very frustrating to not be able to articulate your words and feelings, especially being a writer. I felt like I had lost the majority of my vocabulary. For the first time in almost a month, I found myself having a conversation today and the words were starting to come to me more effortlessly. To be able to articulate what you are feeling without stuttering is something I obviously took for granted. Truly, this may not mean much to others but this is huge for me. I thought I had lost all ability to be a functioning human. Now, more than anything I think this has taught me that my brain will not be broken forever. I'm starting to see a pin-drop of light at the end of the tunnel. I know I have a long way to go but being able to grasp on to anything for hope is a Godsend on this journey. By the way, my skin is now glowing like I have never seen before in my life!! Bonus! Keep pushing everyone!!
  17. set back

    @sweetupbaaby Thanks for your response. I totally relate about the emotions coming back. Besides the depression I generally love being sober for that same reason. Not going to let this small step back stop be from continuing this path of recovery
  18. set back

    @DC011381 wow that is such a long time. I am going to try and stay strong I know i can its just mind blowing how slow this process is and how much using affects our brains in the long term
  19. To fill or not to fill

    So true. This really resonated with me and gave me that extra push that I needed today. Thanks!!!
  20. set back

    All progress is not lost! I have slipped up before, but it was short-lived and I couldn't even enjoy the little bit of a high I got from that 20mg pill because I felt like a fraud and I felt guilty for taking it. It kinda reminded me why I quit in the first place. Adderall really wipes out all emotions you have- good and bad. I never realized how much I was operating like a robot until I became clean- and all my emotions flooded back full force. I am understanding how important it is to give yourself grace for the slipups you make while in recovery. If you are kind to yourself if and when you relapse, you are more likely to stay clean after that slip, as opposed to getting angry. We are human and we are swimming upstream against a current that wants to drag us in the opposite direction. We are going to face some adversity on this journey. I just have to accept the good and the bad days. And accept the slipups if they come. I recenter, reiterate my intentions, and start again. Keep pushing, you are stronger than you think!
  21. set back

    Hang in there dolssa - it WILL get better. At 6 months I didn't feel a wink better - full throttle depression and complete loss of executive functioning skills... At 1 year 6 months I am working productively and my depression is so so so much less intense. The anhedonia is loosening up a little but I am still dealing with it. Because I just need more time for the one
  22. set back

    Hi guys.. if you saw my post last week i was really struggling with depression at a little over 6 months adderall free. I wanted to cave but a few of you really helped me out and talked me out of that (thank you!!) I ended up having a really good rest of the week after those few shitty days. But today i woke up feeling shitty again. I know this is normal but I was dying for an adderall. I stumbled upon one in shorts I havent worn since last summer and I just took it :/ its half of 10 mg. i probably wont get high from it but im so mad at myself for taking it (and looking for it in the first place) I swear i got rid of em all. Anyway I know this doesn't undo ALL the progress in the last 6 months and I have a really hard week ahead of me. any stories of slips like this that didnt end in total relapse destruction please share with me Im feeling really like i fucked everything up
  23. To fill or not to fill

    @sweetupbaaby I too have found that telling myself I don't use Adderall (or any other drugs) has helped. For me the difference between I don't and I can't is huge. I don't makes my quitting a positive part of my identity. Telling myself I can't tends to make me irritable because I feel like something I want is being withheld from me. Whenever I am having a really hard day dwelling on a temptation to use, usually I am telling myself I can't use Adderall. The truth is we all can use if we would like. We have the freedom to use, but we also have the freedom to not use. The question is, how are we going to use our freedom? Do we want freedom to use Adderall, or freedom from Adderall? I hope you don't fill the script, you have a few weeks behind you now and that's not worth giving up. Good luck on your continued journey!
  24. To fill or not to fill

    Really, it's the worst. My mind just keeps racing and ruminating the same thought! Fill...don't fill...fill...it's driving me crazy. There really is not much I can do about it though. The pharmacist already thinks I am abusing my script so hopefully, she won't even fill it if I ask.
  25. First Day Back to Work

    Congrats DrewK15! yippee!!! Great news...Thanks for posting your update. So great to hear about this milestone. Cant wait to hear more down the road.
  26. I wish for more connection...

    Thank you, this is really helpful!
  27. To fill or not to fill

    I have this struggle regularly
  28. I wish for more connection...

    I love NVC. I live by it.
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