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  1. Past Hour
  2. Day 1

    Hi Delaney! How you doing??? You hanging in there???
  3. Yesterday
  4. it's like that's what it was written about......
  5. After a Decade on Adderall, I’m 30 Days Clean

    @BK99 hey, was wondering how things were going for you. Are you still off Aderrall and showing signs of improvement? How did the Dr’s appointment go? Hope all is well
  6. UGH

    @FarFromPerfectMom Hello! Just left ER to be a supervisor at a women’s clinic! Completely new world to me but I needed a new start with my new life away from stimulants. This time I’ve been off for a little over 2mo with 2 small one day relapses. Longest I’ve gone is 4mo before I relapsed completely. Just taking it one day at a time, the new job keeps my mind more occupied so as not to dwell on the ‘what ifs.’ How about yourself? Feel free to message me.
  7. Last week
  8. Drug-Addicted Future MD

    @addforone I really enjoyed your post, you are very well spoken. I feel like I understand your situation 100%. I am an ER nurse practitioner with two children. I work swing shifts in a rural hospital. There are a small number of providers there and I am the youngest and least experienced (at 35 with ten years as an rn and six as a midlevel). Management posts our productivity numbers in the break room for all to see and have struggled to keep from being at the bottom every quarter. Although one of the hospitalists has told me I'm the most thorough. So if you think the struggle and the grind end with your education, I'm here to inform you that sadly that is not the case. This is even more true if you have a family. I do not suffer from ADD(I do have depression and mild OCD), I just needed super human levels of energy to keep up the pace of my life. Because I work in a rural ED, the docs sometimes have 24 hrs shifts. There were many times the doc would sleep and I would only wake him up for a code or intubation. This meant that I can't miss a detail. It is literally a matter of life and death for me to stay sharp. I was so relieved to read your post because I know you understand this unique struggle. I am ten days clean and still struggling but surviving. I am afraid to go to NA. If word gets out, I would have to report this to the board. Medical professionals are held to a higher standard. We are expected to be perfect, hide our struggles, keep grinding, don't miss a diagnosis, etc or be shamed by our own community. I wish you success in your journey. Statistically speaking, medical professionals are more prone to addiction but more successful in recovery than non medical professionals. Let's embrace that fact keep trudging along. I just keep reminding myself that plenty of people do this job without stimulants. It is possible...
  9. UGH

    @NurseAddy new to this forum and also a nurse. Thought you may be a good contact. What kind of nursing do you do? How long have you been off adderall?
  10. Day 1

    Hi DelaneyJ-Good for you! I’ll be thinking about you and sending good mojo your way. You can do this!!!
  11. HOPE

    So glad you are here!
  12. HOPE

    I took it everyday for 6 years straight. I started out with 10mgs per day and ended with a 40mg per day script. My routine is that I would run out of my pills by the 4th week, sleep for 4 days straight and my life would be a mess that week. Then I'd get my new script, stay up for 2 days straight cleaning like crazy, and then just go back into my adderall induced OCD behaviors of tackling new projects or whatever for 3 weeks straight again. Well all that plus binge drinking at night to come down, etc. How about you?
  13. Day 1

    Okay, here we go! It's my first official day 1! (Again, lol, but this time I mean it.) I have a minor outpatient surgery this morning and I took the rest of the week off. I feel pretty much prepared to stop (at least physically), as I have been decreasing dosage over the last 6 days after my last adderall/benzo fueled 4-day bender last week. Yesterday I only had 5mg of Adderall and 5mg of Klonapin. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster the past week - withdrawal sucks! I'm hopeful it won't be so bad now that I've spent a week taking less and less. I do have a ton of anxiety though, but I am committed. I will be accountable too! I'll check back in later! I'm grateful for the support and it helps just knowing others get it and I'm not alone!
  14. HOPE

    So glad to have this site!!
  15. I stumbled upon this an interesting compound in an organic substance. Salidroside. Without a doubt will help with recovery. I would recommend still stacking it with L-tyrosine, Forskolin (re-sensitize D2 receptors) & buetasuperba (increase cAmp levels). Adderall works by raising cAmp levels; flooding your brain with dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin (not as a high affinity). Eventually, your D2 receptors will downregulate alongside with cAmp. By flooding your brain with dopamine, the neurons (dopamine neurons) are going to eventually die. You can wait until they regrow back at a slow rate or induce the growth with Salidroside (see product and resource below). It's pretty late right now but the only other natural resource I can think about is NAD and vitamin D (increase tyrosine hydroxylase). I dont have resources\links but both are certainly linked to Adderall recovery. You will also have to find the articles for Bueta Superba and Forskolin but buetasuperba is a PDE inhibitor which stops the breakdown of cAmp. I also wrote a guide about a year ago. I since then have recovered, but I always wanted to revisit it. I haven't stopped learning and researching; I definitely could add a few contributions to it. A pure form of Salidroside: Resource:
  16. HOPE

    How long were you taking adderall for initially 9 years ago
  17. UGH

    @DelaneyJuliette Ha. You are correct, L-tyrosine is what some have suggested. I live with a crossfitter so it’s hard to not get the two mixed up!
  18. Hi Wired,

    How are you doing? I randomly saw a post of yours when looking at the meetup locations and wanted to reach out.  

    1. cliendepe

      cliendepe eagles bent bryce weird fag

  19. Friday night sober ramblings

    Glad I’m not the only one, lol! Today is Day 54. I’m pretty fried-I woke up around 4am and decided to get up and start working. I tend to get a lot done when I do that, but I regret it now as I also had a full day of clients and plans with friends tonight. I cancelled my plans with my friends and am just going to grab a bite with my boyfriend and crash early. That sorta sounds reasonable and like good self-care, but I’m struggling. Feeling a lot of inadequacy today. I’ve been realizing that I’ve had many masks and decoys to keep my insecurities at bay over the years, and now I feel pretty vulnerable and unworthy. It’s actually quite difficult for me to share myself with people (in person!). I’m afraid to be “a drag”...
  20. Relapse after 1.5 years clean

    Hi Sleepy-I don’t think it so much matters that you relapsed as it does that you’re clean now and learned some important things from your time using. I’m glad you’re here. Try to be kind to yourself.
  21. Friday night sober ramblings

    I literally just emailed your quote to myself: I have a tendency lately to forget that I am in recovery...a tendency instead to get into this head/heart space of, "What's WRONG with me???" and when I can remember, "OH RIGHT!! DUHHHH - I recently quit an amphetamine addiction cold turkey!!!" I am better able to be kinder and gentler with myself and set some reasonable goals for my day. I am having brain zaps and feeling crazy. Mood swings all over the place and I can't get anything done. Going from crazy high anxiety to exhausted and apathetic. Foggy. Can't wait to get through this. There is another side to get to, I will keep telling myself. I know it to be true, but damn I want to get there NOW.
  22. HOPE

    I forgot to mention my success story to getting sober again!! So I did end up going back and completing an outpatient program. I finished that up a little over two months ago. Then I ran the Columbus Marathon and qualified for the Boston Marathon. I ran a 3:28 and I get to run the Boston Marathon in 2021. I'm pretty excited about that.
  23. HOPE

    Awe, thank you so much!!
  24. Yeah. It’s so disturbing when it all turns on you. So it becomes time to move on or...let go or be dragged...
  25. Friday night sober ramblings

    Good for you!!!!! And I bet you’ll totally be able to use that “overboard” energy in service of your abstinence! I’m rooting for you!!!
  26. Friday night sober ramblings

    Yes, it is very hard to be honest with myself. Man I am good at self-justification. But the reality is that I ALWAYS go overboard eventually... I think it really is time to stop. Monday will be day 1.
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