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  1. Yesterday
  2. Go us:) yeah i think thats my issue too--clenching my jaw. My facial muscles always ache and im so faaacking tired of it just wanna be able to chill like a normal human being. I keep checking in almost daily too its a good reminder that i'm not alone in this struggle.
  3. Ticker gone ?

    I don't think the new (upgraded) site software supports the tickers...
  4. Will the drive ever come back?

    Yes. Got off it at 24, and I feel "full strength" now at 28 (nearly 29...yeesh). Probably been near/at this point for a couple years, it just hasn't "felt" like it. Came across this article the other day and loved it. Think it's something many of us struggle with after Adderall:
  5. Will the drive ever come back?

    I totally understand how daunting it seems and the feeling of damned if you damned if you don't. But as mentioned we're so young, im right there with you at 24, and even if it takes 2,3,4 years to get it back we won't even have reached 30 yet. And conquering a task like this will stick with you the rest your life and encourage you along with so many people that you can do anything you put mind to consistently. I really feel for you. I believe you can do it especially with help/support.
  6. Strange habits after quitting? Nail biting

    I never had any anxious habits before adderall but now going through quitting my legs are restless all the time. I think it's a lot to do with just the anxiety of going through withdrawal and quitting. Before using adderall it might of just been a habit that started from an earlier anxious period. Only advice I can think of would be working to calm yourself through yoga/music/meditation or keep yourself/hands busy through any hobby, working out would be good for both calming and staying busy. I know you can keep your hands busy constantly but slowly reducing the time you have to bite maybe eventually you'll be able to stop. Also a reward system for going without, starting with small periods/goals. Talking about and exploring/understanding the reasons behind it and the anxiety would definitely be a good idea too.
  7. Quitting again after a setback

    I've been in exactly the same position and you did the right thing by flushing them. Hang in there and stay strong you can do it.
  8. Pretty sure you've seen my other recent post but yeah, going on six weeks and damn I'm tired of my jaw being clenched. It's not so much grinding which might be better because I would actually be moving it but it's just always clenched and aches like a mofo. I'm finding myself on here more lately as stress outside of the adderall has hit the fan and I am feeling particularly extra shitty. I can relate to doing the basics more meaningfully.. anything to keep my mind from obsessing over a moment of relief through all the other substances I used with adderall. But anyways, its nice to see you're still on here and staying strong. Another day down!
  9. Well after about a year straight hitting the gym maxed out 3 reps of 230 pounds bench press this evening. Know that's not like a big number for some guys but for me I never even got that in my early 20's when I worked out pre adderal, I'm about 180lbs myself. Also now can do about 10 chin ups in a row or 8 pull-ups feel working on those helped me gain more strength vs anything else I did. When I first started working out I used the pull up assist machine but worked my way off it after a couple of months it did its job. Anyways just sharing because I've been through a lot in this recovery must thank the gym for the help and you can reach new heights of this drug.
  10. Adderall and Alcohol

    Adderall definitely made me start drinking a lot. HOWEVER in these first stages I find myself using it to deal with recovery now that I'm not sleeping whenever I'm not at work. Definitely not good.
  11. Quitting again after a setback

    Day 7!!!! I clearly need bed. I meant day 3 of prescription waiting
  12. Quitting again after a setback

    Thank you! You have no idea how much it means to get some support. I'm prescribed Adderall and Vyvanse and currently have the latter waiting for me at the pharmacy (don't lose hope! It's day 3 and I haven't picked up) and it's so hard. Today's the first day I didn't imagine myself napping on the ground and in the road so I'm feeling ok. Although I did miss my subway stop on the way to work bc I fell asleep. Anyway just wanted to check in and say thanks.
  13. Last week
  14. Inspirational Music

    i listened to this song today and felt like it exemplified my battle with addiction, from eating disorders, depression, compulsive thoughts, distructive relationships every outlet ive looked for a solition but only found pain. Its been a battle between myself and i, my addictive personality and the voice that wants me well. "our human hearts forget how strong they are, and they get lost along the way, hey its not giving up, its letting go and moving to a better place." Letting go of trying to controll everything and accepting myself for who i am and where I am and trusting that life will take me where I need to be. Im done playing god trying to control every aspect of my life from the outward appearnce of success to how i feel.
  15. Strange habits after quitting? Nail biting

    I dont think its strange that you stopped biting your nails while on adderall at all. I started taking adderall to mask my emotions after a break up and although I supressed those emotions then and there and distracted my mind with other things i still have to work on getting over the grief of that relationship now two years later. Maybe your nail biting is a nervous habit and you should investigate what lies beyond it? Why do you feel nervous and compelled to bite your nails?
  16. Strange habits after quitting? Nail biting

    Hey everyone, I was wondering if anyone else has a similar experience: my entire life I bit my fingernails without being able to ever kick the habit (tried really hard too!), then during my adderall/Ritalin years I stopped biting completely without even realizing it. On adderall, I never had the urge to bite them. It's always about 1-2 weeks after taking my last pill that the nail biting starts again. And obviously it's not as easy as just saying "hey self, don't bite your nails" otherwise nobody would bite their nails in the first place. Have you had similar quirks or habits? Any advice for how to not start biting my nails again this time around? So far I'm just on a general will power/ rewards system (there's a manicure in my future.) And anyone know why this is? This compulsive habit magically stops on adderall, but adderall isn't a good solution. Thanks!
  17. constipation?

    Drink a lot of water. Morning coffee should help too. The fruits and veggies part is probably pretty true. I've been vegetarian for years and I'm ok after quitting, I still go every day. I do drink lots of water though.
  18. Will the drive ever come back?

    (Once I have kids. ;-)
  19. Will the drive ever come back?

    That's so sad that even kids with ADD, prescribed this drug since childhood, can still end up getting addicted. Wow, your story was eye-opening for me. I have two sisters who were prescribed adderall since they were 7 or 8. My mom took their pills a few times and liked the feeling, then got her own script and gave me some pills when I was in college and I liked it, then got my own script. Two of us prescribed since childhood, two of us who could just fake symptoms as adults. I think of my older sister who's still on it, who doesn't really seem any better off after all these years, and wonder if she too struggles with the urge to take some extra pills every now and then, and with the fear of developing addiction. To a substance a doctor gave her when she was 8. I guess I thought people with obvious ADD just don't get addicted to this stuff like my mom and I did. They always say it doesn't make them feel good. Well, I'd never let my kids go on it.
  20. 7 weeks in, feeling sluggish still but looking younger?

    This is good to know! I just quit last week and my wedding is in 2 months. Maybe I'll really like the pictures :-D
  21. France ADHD treatment for children

    I live in France. I was the ONLY customer of my pharmacy (so, the entire highly populated city neighborhood) with a Ritalin prescription. Adderall doesn't exist here. I always had to drop it off and wait until the next day for the pills. Crazy, huh? No kids on ADHD pills, never mind adults. The psych only prescribed it because I said I was American and I'd had it for years at home. The pharmacists treated me a little bit like a whack job or a criminal sometimes.
  22. Excessive fatigue

    Agreed. Lower your expectations for yourself. Each time I've taken an extended break from pills (this time I hope to make it lasting!) if I find myself chastising myself for laying around all day I say "hey, laying around daydreaming sober is still better than being active and taking drugs." It's 12:30pm here and I'm not dressed for the day yet. Spending time with friends helps me a lot. I forget about being in withdrawal when I start laughing :-)
  23. Dopa Mucuna 15% L-Dopa

    Really? I have a bottle sitting on my shelf but it didn't seem that effective. Does it work right away or do you need to try it a few days in a row to see any effect?
  24. Holy Shit! 9 Months!

    Congratulations! I'm only on day 6. Thanks for sharing your experience.
  25. Adderall quitting body cleanse?!

    I don't think cleanses really work. Maybe just eat healthy, take a multivitamin, and drink a lot of water. Otherwise I like making herbal teas and tinctures from burdock root or milk thistle. They're supposedly cleansing too. I've never felt a difference but I like the taste.
  26. macca

    I take Maca daily in hopes of getting pregnant in the next few months! A Peruvian girl I know swears it works that way :-D no, I get no kind of energy or focus from it at all. It's just a root vegetable, after all.
  27. Quitting before a deadline

    The thesis defense went fine and my paper was a lot better than passing. I realize now I really would've been fine without drugging myself all year. In fact, my thinking processes on stimulants probably aren't the best for writing. I think this stuff inhibits creativity. You end up running really fast and huffing and puffing and getting...not very far.
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