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"Face the disapproval of at least one person who you can't bear disapproval from, and keep going".....But how?

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I guess I have now reached step 3 on the 13 milestones of quitting: Facing disapproval. Got some negative feedback at work from people who really matter. It wasn't all negative, there were some positive points in there too, but there were a few scathing remarks in there and I'm pretty devastated. I am interpreting this to mean that my performance HAS gone downhill in some big ways. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive now that I'm a human being again and PAWS-prone and lacking in my former self-confidence thanks to quitting, but how do people cope with the disapproval? The objective confirmation that you cannot perform the way you used to? I can't just say fuck 'em, I have to take it into account. :/

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Don't forget that adderall gives us a false sense of confidence. Studies say we don't on average over a longer period of time actually perform better on adderall, we just think we do.

One of the things that's been really nice about getting through this stressful period of interviews for me is knowing NO ONE can take away from me the knowledge that I didn't have to rely on a pill to get here.... I've got the goods, the hardware, the horsepower to get shit done on my own and as you said, fuck em.

Swim in your own lane...

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Occasional,

What were the positive remarks? Let's focus on those! Also, let's try to seperate YOU from your work performance/behavior. YOU are a human being and worthy of acceptance NO MATTER WHAT. You are not your behavior. Behavior/work performance can always be changed, modified, adapted, or whatever. Right now YOU are doing the best with what you got to get through this difficult time period and adjust to no longer having adderall. The fact that you are showing up, doing the work, and getting through this transition period right now needs to be applauded and awarded! So pat yourself on the back my friend and be proud of your achievement for having the strength to toss the pills and do this the hard way. :o:) If you don't applaud yourself, then I will! ;)

They don't know you quit taking pills and all that you're going through right now. I'm sure if they did they would lighten up on you be impressed at this admirable conquest you've undertaken. You are staying clean and that is a MIRACLE. MIRACLE!! It will get better. You will figure it out and you will feel amazing as you keep trucking through these times.

Here's a little quote just for you tonight. :)

"Character cannot be developed through ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." - Helen Keller

Hugs!

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Don't forget that adderall gives us a false sense of confidence. Studies say we don't on average over a longer period of time actually perform better on adderall, we just think we do.

One of the things that's been really nice about getting through this stressful period of interviews for me is knowing NO ONE can take away from me the knowledge that I didn't have to rely on a pill to get here.... I've got the goods, the hardware, the horsepower to get shit done on my own and as you said, fuck em.

Swim in your own lane...

I love ALL of this. The sense of self confidence is really hard to rebuild, but it's easy as you said to forget that it was a false sense of self confidence.

Adderall, as a performance enhancing drug, can also cause huge loss in performance upon quitting, and that's maybe at the heart of my (our?) struggles of quitting. But it becomes degenerative and takes away from performance in the long term.

Letting go of those short term performance enhancing aspects is completely dismantling, humbling, catastrophic, but also beautiful. I love what you said about taking pride in doing everything on your own. That's important to me too, and key to true self confidence--the kind that no drug can steal away.

Another, very painful key to true self confidence is openly, honestly and genuinely acknowledging criticism and negative feedback, and learning from it, as absolutely devastating as it can be. I was googling "how to deal with negative feedback" and found one site that said to remember that it is a gift. People wouldn't bother to give it if they didn't care or see things worth improving--if it were an absolute shipwreck, why bother giving critique? It is a tool for improvement. And everyone, no matter where we are in life, has things to improve on. So, I'm taking it all in, no matter how painful, and while swimming in my own lane I'm going to use it to better myself into the best version of me I can possibly be right now..... which HAS to be an adderall-free me....it HAS TO...the future WILL BE BETTER than this....right?

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Occasional,

What were the positive remarks? Let's focus on those! Also, let's try to seperate YOU from your work performance/behavior. YOU are a human being and worthy of acceptance NO MATTER WHAT. You are not your behavior. Behavior/work performance can always be changed, modified, adapted, or whatever. Right now YOU are doing the best with what you got to get through this difficult time period and adjust to no longer having adderall. The fact that you are showing up, doing the work, and getting through this transition period right now needs to be applauded and awarded! So pat yourself on the back my friend and be proud of your achievement for having the strength to toss the pills and do this the hard way. :o:) If you don't applaud yourself, then I will! ;)

They don't know you quit taking pills and all that you're going through right now. I'm sure if they did they would lighten up on you be impressed at this admirable conquest you've undertaken. You are staying clean and that is a MIRACLE. MIRACLE!! It will get better. You will figure it out and you will feel amazing as you keep trucking through these times.

Here's a little quote just for you tonight. :)

"Character cannot be developed through ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." - Helen Keller

Hugs!

LilTex THANK YOU for such encouraging words and for applauding me!! That means so much to me!! This whole carrying-on-while-quitting thing is really hard but you are right, I need to focus on what's good, and the fact that I AM at least carrying on--even if it has its limits. I tend to be really hard on myself, but I am doing my absolute best here, in a high pressure job, so I should probably cut myself some slack.....

Separating the self from the work is a tough thing, I struggle with it, so thank you for reminding me. You're right that it's not definitive of everything that we are; it's still a costume. And, it can be changed.

LOVED the Helen Keller quote......! xoxo

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I have had those negative remarks too. Not on my actual performance but I have been told I am "annoying." I started being a smart ass now and I asked "would you like me to be annoying and productive or quite and lazy?" They just stop talking then. People can be ignorant when it comes to Adderall addiction because they don't believe it is an addiction, especially for someone who has "textbook ADHD" like I have been told. It is hard and frustrating though, and it makes you second guess on your decision to quit. I just keep telling reminding myself that I am starting to be the person again that I was meant to be. If people truly love and respect YOU, then they will want the actual YOU to be here instead of the "Zombie" version.

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I've heard the "feedback is a gift" expression too, and if it's delivered with care then it's a great gift. But if it's said in anger or resentment or for some vindictive or political reason, it can be just a damned gremlin, chewing away at you.

The best boss I ever had said to me that I should "learn to accept your weaknesses, they are part of who you are". Oh, and then there's this awesome quote he gave me (he was a great boss):

Start where you are

Bring what you have

Do what you can

It will be enough.

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I've heard the "feedback is a gift" expression too, and if it's delivered with care then it's a great gift. But if it's said in anger or resentment or for some vindictive or political reason, it can be just a damned gremlin, chewing away at you.

The best boss I ever had said to me that I should "learn to accept your weaknesses, they are part of who you are". Oh, and then there's this awesome quote he gave me (he was a great boss):

Start where you are

Bring what you have

Do what you can

It will be enough.

You're right. It's not all a gift. Some of it was of the anger-driven, politically-driven, vindictive, and non-constructive type. I'll be disregarding what of it doesn't help me to become better. Because otherwise, yes, it will start eating away at me. Fuck 'em!

Your old boss sounds amazing.... I love that quote!

Thanks as always for your support MFA! <3

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You're right. It's not all a gift. Some of it was of the anger-driven, politically-driven, vindictive, and non-constructive type. I'll be disregarding what of it doesn't help me to become better. Because otherwise, yes, it will start eating away at me. Fuck 'em!

Your old boss sounds amazing.... I love that quote!

Thanks as always for your support MFA! <3

... and thanks for yours. We help each other here, that's what this is so special about this place!

And I remembered another quote from an executive coach about gremlins: sure, they can have their say, but once they've said their thing once, give them the rest of the day off.

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