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emuhleexo

69 days today:)

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Hi Emily!

Thanks for posting your story. If you've stayed off Adderall for 69+ days, then you've already past the physically hard part; you're beyond the point where most people turn back. And you've already taken some good steps like getting your GED!

Now it sounds like you're just stuck with the philosophical dilemma (what do I do with my days)? It's easy when you can't figure out what to do to think back on Adderall and idealize it. On Adderall it sure felt like you had purpose. And even if that feeling was manufactured, it's at least preferable to feeling totally lost and lacking passion/direction.

The circumstances under which you were prescribed it sound incredibly sketchy to me, so I'm going to assume for a sec that you do not need Adderall. If that is the case, then you should do yourself the service of taking time to think about what kind of life would make you happy.

Adderall supplants this in-built need to find direction, but now you're are having to face this hunger for fulfillment full-on. You are still young. Very few people know for sure what they want to do with their lives at 19. Hell, I'm 28 and I'm only 90% sure what I want to do.

The important thing is not to decide everything now. Just listen to you heart and try to use those feelings to pick a general direction and then head off that way. This usually means college. If you haven't done any college yet, start there. While you're stewing about lacking passion and direction, you can at least be honing your study skills and knocking out core classes. Then when you decide on a direction you'll already be very far along. Plus it'll make you happier to feel progress towards a future every day.

Also: Maybe lay off dating for a little while until you've set your own ambitions in motion. Dating is a very easy distraction, and you don't want distractions right now.

Once you start chasing a life that fits you better, you may find a guy that fits you better as well! :D

Just my 2 cents. Hang in there!

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Hey Emily. Hang in there. I know you crave adderrall. I can tell from your post. Stick with your guns and stay off it. Keep up the good work and enjoy beautiful California !

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