lunax

Day one: feeling grateful (and tired)

10 posts in this topic

Today was the first time in a few months that I didn't use adderall, mostly because I started having sharp pains in my left kidney a few days ago which landed me in the hospital this morning. This may or may not have been due to the fact that I have been misusing adderall and certainly not eating or hydrating well.

In any case although I am in a vegetative state right now, not taking it today has made me feel like there is still life inside of me. I ate every bite of my lunch with a sense of appreciation for all the different flavors, and it felt so good to smell my dogs breathe as she licked my face this afternoon....these are the small yet special things that don't matter when I am on adderall.

I only signed up to this site a few days ago and I am so happy I did. I'm sad to see that others are struggling in the same way but glad that there is a supportive community of people on here to reach out to. I don't know what tomorrow or the day after will be like because I haven't come up with a plan yet. However I am grateful to have somewhere to come and share this experience.

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Please stay close and let us know how you are doing.  And for every post you read, have a big gulp of water!  

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It is nice, after getting off of Adderall, to finally be able to enjoy food again and  to start feeling like most of what goes in my brain is more or less under my control again. I did not realize how dulled down and apathetic I was and exhausted. It may take a while but if you can see this as temporary, you can get through it!

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Like Mike says: lower the expectations you have placed on yourself. You can't be superwoman off Adderall. Make good friends with yourself and your couch.

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Gosh thank you. everyone has been so incredibly supportive on here. I'm going back to work tomorrow and I'm scared. I haven't flushed the rest of these pills yet...

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I would say "Flush The pills" also but I would be a hypochrite.  I still haven't been able to complete that step in the process myself and I am just a little past 6 months.

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Push through girl! you already got the through some of the toughest parts.

as for work, just try to stay busy. as minimal as the task may be.

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