anniem20

This binge was my Rock Bottom...thank you for this site.

10 posts in this topic

I'm done.I can't do this anymore.if I do not end this cycle it will end me I will lose my precious babies and it will take my life.Adderall is Satan it has robbed me of my looks joy and any ability to grow as a person.its been 10 years of chaos I'm sick of the time lapses/blackouts sores on my skin painful broken teeth from the constant grinding.it has caused so much damage in my life I won't let it destroy my children.At 240 mg a dayb and going on 65 hours of no sleep I have finally hit bottom.The "postpartum" psychosis accompanied by the continuous sweating and has scared the life out of me...I surrender.Thank you all for this site coming across this site tonight has been a miracle for me I have never felt this bad.

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My heart goes out to you; I can hear the pain in your post but I cannot imagine the depths of it.  We are here to help you through this difficult time.  Please keep us updated on your journey so we can encourage you along the way.  It sounds like you are making steps in the right direction.

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It is a long way to fall from 240mgs a day. Consider tappering. Do you have a doctor who is prescribing you medication? Maybe he can help you get some inpatient care. We wouldn't want to lose you. Please keep us posted.

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I know this sounds crazy, but this is exactly how I felt when I quit. I had to hit ROCK BOTTOM. And you my friend are at that place so all you can do now is feel blessed you have finally gotten to that place of surrender. I feel for you and as hard as it sounds I feel like you might actually be feeling good because you know your whole life is about to change and all for the better. :) Let the HEALING begin. At the end of my quit before I went to the ER, my skin/lips were a shade of purple, parts of my hair was falling out, my nails were so brittle, my hands were shriveled up, cold sores, and I looked like the waking dead. Hallucinating is not fun. Knowing that what you think seems crazy, but not being able to differentiate what is real and what isn't, well let's just say there is a better life out there and that pill is not worth it!!! Life is not easy, but it's a hell of a lot easier than keeping up Adderall addiction and all of the consequences that come with it.

I am just so happy for you. I have this feeling deep inside my heart that you are going to be one of us who makes it! Welcome to your quit and NEW LIFE IN RECOVERY.

BLESS YOU! HUGS!

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I second what LilTex said. When I hit my rock bottom, I truly believed I would die from this addiction if the madness didn't stop. Something clicked in my head. My life had been falling apart around me for a couple of years, but I remember coming to that point when I thought....I CANNOT LIVE THIS WAY ANYMORE. And I truly don't think I would've had either my sanity or my life for much longer. And to this day, I'm SO grateful I hit that rock bottom, because it has been so powerful in reminding me of why quitting was one of the best decisions I've ever made. My heart goes out to you. No matter how scary or awful you feel right now, this is a turning point for you to choose to stop the insanity that is adderall. Please stay close to the boards. We're pulling for you!!

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Good luck. We're all thinking of you . I came down from 250mgs a day, a lot of it was crushed and snorted. You will get through it. When i hit rock bottom, i could not distinguish between reality and dillusion anymore. 

I love being sane!!!!!!!! Its a tough battle and we're all here rooting you on. :)

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