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love/HATE/replace


kori

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Hello all...I am new here but not new to addiction...that's 100% accurate :/

I want to know...how was your relationship/experience with the drug? And what methods/activities etc did you replace the drug with once you quit (or are in the process of quitting)?

For me, I always loved researching. especially psychology and/or nursing material. however I HATED how is pull unnecessary all nighters , with work the next day, unable to stop absorbing information . I wasn't even in school...it was just an insatiable desire to expand my "intellectuality "..the list goods on but id like to chill for a second and actually see what others have to say instead of being so hyperfocused on myself.

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And naturally, I critique everything and see there were a few typos...I'm using a cell phone. and currently hating the fact that I feel its necessary to apologize for such a thing lol...funny but not funny..how obsessive the mind becomes on this garbage

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Welcome to the forum Kori, I hope that your able to kick it for good this time.  The best suggestion for replacement is diet and exercise from all of the experiences that I have read here.

 

I remember the constant hunger for information intake that I had while on the drug and the obsessive behavior.  It is nice to be able to relax and be yourself instead of being a self centered jerk.  Best of luck to you quitting; it's not easy but worth it.  We are all here to support each other, so feel free to vent, ask questions, or reach out.

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Hi Kori,

 

Get your plan together. Make it good so that you only have to quit once. It make no sense to drag a soul through this long and difficult process more than once. We have an experienced member on this forum called Quit-once. If you are serious about quitting and doing it once, post here that the idea appeals to you and see what happens.

 

To respond to your question directly about replacement activities; start with sleep, rest and browsing this site, like it is your new addiction.

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Thanks Jon...your advice is appreciated for sure. I actually wrote a post in "tell your story" since I read your response. I actually started to formulate a plan (even though I keep wrestling in my head when I ponder gaining weight and my fatigue back). My plan starts with not calling my psychiatrist for a follow up appointment next month. he just gave me my monthly supply, and I already abused my dosage once, however I threw out 14 pills. I get 90/month of the 20mg IR (3xD). I haven't counted but I probably have approx. 65 left. Because of my physically demanding job I think I am opting the taper method.

I do know one thing for sure...I am addicted and I may rationalize and justify and fall ..but my true desire is to be my real self. whoever that is!

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Kori,

 

I tapered down to 10mgs a day from 30-40mgs in the final stages. I found that there were days where I would want a 5mg booster around noon and I would take it. I did this for about a year and felt miserable most for of the day, every day. After I found this website and read Mike's article about tapering, I knew that bumping up to 15mgs from 10mgs was the cardinal mistake in tapering. Shortly after this discovery, I quit completely.

 

I am going to see my prescribing psychiatrist on Tuesday, not for any meds, but to tell him of my recent developments and to ask for his support. I am interested in his support for his willingness to write a note for time off from work, if I feel I need it during the next 6 months or so. I also want to have a face to face meeting with him to tell him that I am done with Adderall forever, no matter what I might say contrary to that in the future. It is more accountability to keep my resolve strong. I believe that if I were to use again, it would kill me. It is not the kind of death I want to have, especially if it was a long and slow death by way of exhaustion, while being someone other than my true self.

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Jon, that takes a lot of balz to do what you are planning next tues. I hope it goes well for you. Please keep in mind it is in your doctors best interest to have you on adderall. I hope he is a doctor who puts his patients interests before his own. When I told my doctor I had quit, he shrugged and said "well, you can always go back on them if you want". Not exactly the kind of response I was looking for. Haven't seen him since then.

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Quit-once,

 

I appreciate your concern, you know I do. My doctor actually suggested it first. He said "Jon, you have been on chemicals for a long time now, why don't you come off everything. Where do you want to start?" He was aware of my longstanding love/hate relationship to Adderall and the Adderall supporting meds. I don't expect any resistance from him at all, but I will keep your warning in my mind when I go.

 

A month ago I left a detailed voice message with him telling him what I have done; quit cold turkey and don't want to be prescribed Adderall ever again. He already knows who is walking into his office on Tuesday.

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In retrospect, asking about the "love" part of the drug was unnecessary and not beneficial whatsoever. blame it on the drug for the "bright ideas".

I am proud of you Jon, I hope everything goes well and you feel a sense of relief when its over!

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Jon,

This sounds like a great idea. I think it will really have a positive effect on you afterwards, even though you have already quit. It's also good to have something to show at work, since recovery can be a roller coaster. You are truly setting yourself up for success, in every sense of the word. Quit-once, what a shitty experience to have with your doctor. I've found that the two doctors I've seen since quitting, after I was immediately up front with them that I was a recovering Adderall addict, were very supportive of it. One of my doctors even asked how I quit, if I attended AA meetings and what I've done to continue being adderall-free out of genuine interest. It gave me hope for medical professionals. Tuesday is a big step for you, Jon....bravo!!!

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Hello all...I am new here but not new to addiction...that's 100% accurate :/

I want to know...how was your relationship/experience with the drug? And what methods/activities etc did you replace the drug with once you quit (or are in the process of quitting)?

For me, I always loved researching. especially psychology and/or nursing material. however I HATED how is pull unnecessary all nighters , with work the next day, unable to stop absorbing information . I wasn't even in school...it was just an insatiable desire to expand my "intellectuality "..the list goods on but id like to chill for a second and actually see what others have to say instead of being so hyperfocused on myself.

Hi Kori, welcome to the boards.  I'm new here too and longest I've gone without taking any is 2 days so I'm def no expert lol.  But I totally relate to the obession part, for me I'm obsessed with surprise surprise pictures of myself and instagram and creating collages.  I swear instagram is the devil to anyone with ocd or on addies. you can get so lost.

 

And I'm the oppositie when people say exercise & diet helped them.  For me I'm in the fitness world of competing  and I can't  start my morning cardio without addies now.  I use them as my fat burners since the effect is similar but stronger. Actually this has been the easiest year of dieting / exercising because of addie's stimulant and curbing hunger.  Which unfortuanately is another love/hate with this drug.

 

I remember the constant hunger for information intake that I had while on the drug and the obsessive behavior.  It is nice to be able to relax and be yourself instead of being a self centered jerk. 

LMAO at 1bad88:  so relatable and weird how a drug turns regular caring people into "self centered jerks".  Maybe that's all drugs though??

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