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JustinW

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thanks for the motivation, ive been able to build a complex excel model of pivot tables and pivot charts, and my excel skills have gone up tremendously. I spent two hours every morning at work just studying pivot tables --

 

I've also had to learn very advanced power point. Its been a big climb. But i guess my skills have gone up. I had no choice to learn. Did lots of googling. I cranked out 49 page powerpoint of pure graphs, bar charts, tables etc...from an excel model of pivot tables that I built from a data file i cleaned up. Im surprised Ive been able to push myself to this level. It really felt impossible.

 

The good thing though is that more you learn and understand the easier it gets. 

 

If i were to look at this optimistically - my line of thinking should be this:

 

Ive been challenged and forced outside of my comfort zone..forced to develop skills in areas that Im weaker in but have become a stronger employee because im more well rounded. Im also learning and getting very 'meaty' assignments and i'm building skill sets and contributing on a high level. And that's important for my learning, and development as an employee and my future growth.

 

i need to repeat that to myself every day when i feel like quitting lol because i hate excel, i feel hopeless, frustrated and and i want to SCREAM at my boss for doing this to me.

 

 

Greg you are awesome!!!!!  I do only basic powerpoints.  And I hate hate HATE excel, every time I try to use it I mess something up with all its crazy command functions and stuff.  I avoid it at all costs so I have no idea what you must be going through!!!

 

BUT I know that it's a very useful tool, and not just for work.  People use it to help them be financially responsible for example.  I wish I could be like that! 

 

It probably has a very steep learning curve.  Maybe that's what you're facing.  I bet it's the kind of thing that becomes EASY once you master it!!!  And you WILL!  :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

my best friend asked me for pills cause hes in town. hes the kind of addict that tries to convince me "just go get the script and sell it to me". thankfully he lives on the other side of the country, we used to be each others back up source, buying off other people scripts.. we used to be swimming in pills. 

 

i hope this time he just respects my decision and drops it. >_<

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my best friend asked me for pills cause hes in town. hes the kind of addict that tries to convince me "just go get the script and sell it to me". thankfully he lives on the rother side of the country, we used to be each others back up source, buying off other people scripts.. we used to be swimming in pills. e 

 

i hope this time he just respects my decision and drops it. >_<

 

Pill pals are tough one. Such a strong bond.  Got stay strong on this tell him to go away. 

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Let me chime in here with a dark thought.  I'm 9 months clean, and for the most part I don't even think about adderall anymore.

 

Yet I swear that if I knew you in person and we were friends, and I knew that you had access to pills, I would be tempted to ask you to get them and sell them to me (even now).  If you didn't know about my addictive history and I thought I could keep it a secret, then eventually I'm sure I actually would ask you.

 

That's how powerful that hold can be in the back of your mind.  That's why, the only reason my quit was successful is because I completely cut off my sources.  I know I'm repeating myself and you've said you don't want to do it, but you can solve this problem instantly by telling your doctor what happened and have him cut you off permanently.

 

Any access you have now is a landmine to step on in the future.  Times of weakness are inevitable.

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he called me a bitch, then dropped it. lol. hopefully it stays that way 

 

now i just found a bottle of adderall in bathroom of the girl im seeing (no i wasnt snooping it was just there). im not sure what would be worse- if she's taking them recreationally or therapeutically.

 

despite all this im still temptation free thus far. i think i went to a place far too dark and self-destructive to be tempted quite yet. 

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I have a ten minute presentation at a huge trade show today, I'm super nervous but I don't have chemical courage this time. >_<

Good Luck!!  Think about how much better you'll do not being jittery, sweating, and rapidly speaking.  Just go slow, breathe, and have faith you will come off much better as your true normal self.  :) You can do it!

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