JustinW

Happy Birthday!

28 posts in this topic

Happy belated Birthday Z! 36 is a great age. I remember my thirties fondly. It was a great decade. You enjoy yours too.

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On the topics of birthdays. Going to hang with a pal of mine on Saturday. I've been avoiding alcohol and weed for about month now. I noticed really bad depression followed even moderate consumption.  Pre-adderall I was a pretty moderate drinker and smoked weed 2-3 times a year. My buddy knows what im going through. He had a bit of scare with amphetamines in university and quit. So he is the one person I've been able to talk to about.  I'm trying to figure if I should abstain all together or moderate.

 

My pal will understand either way.  I really haven't been that social thru this experience, I would like to have a normal afternoon out . I'm just wondering if it is too soon for the booze.  

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Alcohol is a depressant, so I guess the question becomes "how strong are you right now?" becuase you will get some level of a depressing effect from drinking.

 

OTOH, I had 2 drinks last night when I went out so I would be a hypochrite to say much else.

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Zerokewl,

 

Well, I admire the fact that you drank in moderation before. Myself, I was never a moderate drinker so I am probably not a good person to ask. However, I will note that by not drinking you risk nothing. You wake up clear, alert, and refreshed. No spending money on booze, worrying about if you did something stupid, and no worrying about if it is too soon to be drinking or not.  You could simply choose not to drink and put your mind at ease for now while you are hashing out your life without Adderall.  Why complicate matters more than necessary for now?  :)

 

Another point, when you say a "normal" afternoon out, what exactly do you mean?  Are you referring to what you've done in the past as normal?  Are you referring to what you think other people do on Saturday afternoon's as "normal"?  Could you hang out with your buddy without alcohol and still have a good time?  You won't risk anything if you don't drink. :)  Just my humble opinion though.  :D

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On the topics of birthdays. Going to hang with a pal of mine on Saturday. I've been avoiding alcohol and weed for about month now. I noticed really bad depression followed even moderate consumption.  Pre-adderall I was a pretty moderate drinker and smoked weed 2-3 times a year. My buddy knows what im going through. He had a bit of scare with amphetamines in university and quit. So he is the one person I've been able to talk to about.  I'm trying to figure if I should abstain all together or moderate.

 

My pal will understand either way.  I really haven't been that social thru this experience, I would like to have a normal afternoon out . I'm just wondering if it is too soon for the booze.  

What do you normally drink and how many is moderate? Maybe it depends on what you're drinking. I am somewhat of a beer connoisseur (I'm even in a beer of the month club) and when I drink it is always a high quality microbrew. I typically will have one or two and feel fine. But, if I were to drink two cheap beers, like Bud Light or something, I might get a headache (same with low quality weed - headache central!) I very rarely drink hard liquor and the only hard liquor I can drink is vodka, and it's the same thing - it must be top shelf, like Greygoose or Ketel One. So, maybe stick to one or two high quality beers - no Kokanee or Labatt crap, lol.

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We don't drink in our house at all, but when I went to Steely Dan at this great outdoor venue here a month ago  I had my wife drop me off and pick me up so I could throw back a couple. Sure they were micro brews but the next day I remembered why I don't drink. That cleared it up for me. I just need to do that every 6 months or so and I'm good.

 

Just so you all know, that's what you have to look forward to in your 40's!

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no Kokanee or Labatt crap, lol.

 

That's heresy to a Canadian, isn't it?

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That's heresy to a Canadian, isn't it?

I don't think anyone drinks Labatt but my husband is Canadian and he loves Kokanee. He used to live in Prince George and it's what they all drank there. I think it tastes like cheap American beer.

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@Cassie @1Badd88 Never been much of a Kokanee guy, because I'm from Saskatchewan  I drink Pilsner or Bohemian , call hoodies "bunny Hugs" and cheer for the Riders(football).  Kokanee is a British Columbia (province)thing.  Labbatts is a Eastern Canada thing. Though I don't live in Sask any more so my small town prairie boys ways have changed. A little bit of Canadiana for the board eh.  This event I am going to are with people from my home province. I'll take it as a sign that I'm getting back to normal that I'm far too worried about what others will think.  I really don't want people to know I've been reading about Buddhism, doing Yoga and living sober.  I guess this is just some of the Macho bullshit that comes with growing up in a small town. Also I am just not really sure of myself. I feel very wobbly most days. 

 

My definition of moderate changes with age. I like to go to my local and have 2-3 pints of Guinness and some food. I used to do this about 2-4 times a month.  At home I might drink a few beers while watching tv but this rare.   I don't really care for hard liquor.  My relationship with weed is a bit different. After college when I quit using Ritalin I started smoking weed heavily for a year. I really didn't realize till now the relationship between the two. I gradually stopped smoking weed and didn't do any ADHD drugs for 10 years until I started using Concerta then Adderall. Now I really only smoke weed as a social thing. But  when I got off Adderall for the 1st month I smoked a lot of weed and drank more than usual.  I've read on the board that this was normal.  My alcohol and weed use tapered to 0 about a month ago. 

 

  I've been battling anxiety and depression  through the entire quit. Exercise and mediation seem to be the only thing that give me any relief.  I've been having some good days lately and even some ok weeks lately. I'm hitting some milestones and able to do work again. I need to quit smoking. Thats sorta the next milestone. I've quit before and so badly want to be back in that place.

 

   Liltex is right I risk nothing by not drinking.  I'm 36 I've done enough drugs and drank my share of beers. Being completely sober  makes  sense right now. Throughout my recovery I've been watching alot of documentaries and my 3 heroes right now are Steve-O (Jack ass), George Strombo (Canadian talk show host) and Guy Mariano (pro-skater). All three made the decision  to live completely sober and are still awesome. 

 

I just texted my buddy saying I was living completely sober for the time being. I will reintroduce alcohol at a later date when I'm not so wobbly.   Sorry for the long post but recovery is really about figuring out who you are now, not getting back to your old self. 

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I should not have read this post.  Honestly, I got jealous reading about how everyone seems to be able to drink in moderation and started thinking if all of you could, then maybe I could too.  I accidentally drank some fruit punch at this girls night thing. I kind of thought it might have alcohol, but I decided to try it. Anyhow, the next day I decided I would try "moderate" drinking again.  I drank all day long.  I am horribly hungover today and back on the wagon. This girl I was with mentioned she takes Adderall. I was so exhausted and feeling like crap at the bar I wigged out when she said that because I was assuming it was in her purse. Being at the bar, I was having flashbacks of all the previous times I was there and I felt like I had transcended back into my old life.  When I drink, I want more. I don't know why. It's just the way it is.  I can't change that and I wish I could.  Anyhow, I'm kind of happy it didn't go well because maintaining sobriety is way easier than trying to drink in moderation.  I've just had way too many issues in the past to even risk the consequences.  I feel good today in at least now I know and I can keep moving forward in my recovery. 

 

I really love this website though.  We are all different and have to find our own path of recovery and whatever that entails. Godspeed friends.

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@Liltex Yikes. My father struggled with his alcoholism for years.  He drank to stupid excess too. I never really took to alcohol the way he did. As we get older going to the bar etc is less and less exciting anyways.  I really don't want more today.   I don't feel super awesome today but I don't feel terrible. I'm going back on the wagon today too.  

 

 The reason I drank was I succumbed to social anxiety. There were two people at the house party who I worked with on a project near the end of my adderall abuse. When I was a really spinning out of control. So I faced that demon. I guess being a programer people expect erratic behaviour and such. So I guess my adderall fuelled implosion probably seemed normal.  

 

Alcohol I can handle in moderation however cigarettes are problem for me. I think i've spent a total of half  my life smoking or trying to quit smoking.  

 

Anyways thanks for checking in. I'm going to continue avoiding alcohol except for a few social drinks for the next year or longer.   

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Zerokewl,

 

I hear you.  That's a good point.  I guess it just depends on your drug of choice. Me, I liked anything and everything.  It scared me being under the influence like that last night because even though I didn't want to smoke or do drugs necessarily, I remember how easily and fast that can change when I am inebriated.  Once my inhibitions are down like that I feel so vulnerable to make poor choices and do stuff I'd later regret.  I can only imagine in time if I were to continue drinking how I might decide taking Adderall, smoking pot again, or even smoking a cigarette might be appealing.  And then the whole cycle would start again.  It's just not worth the risk to me.  It's hard to be sober at times though.  Drinking is fun.  But I when I weigh out the costs versus the fun...it's easier to just not drink. 

 

I know what you mean about the social anxiety.  I guess that's why booze is so great. It takes the edge off.  However, it's great if you can handle it, but not so good if you can't.  Again though, how much better would you be if you could work through the social anxiety and get through it totally sober instead of relying on a substance?  I know I have actually made a ton of progress with it, but I forget that at times.  It was good for me to slip back to my old ways for one night to help remind myself how great I've done for the past 3 years.  Road bump - done. MOVING FORWARD!  

 

I really believe you are going to quit smoking soon.  I have faith you CAN DO IT!

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Its good that your able to recognize the cycle and stop it. Your jedi mind is getting strong with the force.  Don't give into the Dark side.  Watch out tho its a dangerous galaxy. Use the force Jedi. Just ask yourself what Yoda would do if your tempted to drink in the next few weeks. 

 

Blip on the radar. For me too. Quitting Adderall is a total lifestyle change. This means finding sober friends and leaving behind my "worlds oldest college student lifestyle". I'm a big boy now I don't need 2 beers to talk to women or start a conversation.    36  time to grow the fuck up. 

 

I've been hiding my smokes in the park by house forcing me to a least cut down. I  think excessive smoking is leading to my depression. At very least it is a factor. I believe I can do it. Its as easy as not lighting the next one. 

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ZK:

I kicked the cigs within about a month of kicking adderall.  I tried to quit them both at once and just couldn't do it.  Went on Chantix for six weeks and that did the trick.  The bad thing about chantix is that I believe it caused even more depression on top of the adderall withdrawl depression.  I dont think the gum or patches worked well for me because it was still nicotine.  But e-cigs were just coming out when I quit and they seemed to help wean me off the smoking habit.  Cold turkey always worked well for me when quitting smoking (and addies too).  I was good at quitting the cigs but I could never stay off them for long.  Good Luck

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