Rth3806

Ruined my life and felt good doing it

29 posts in this topic

I'm glad that she came around!  I was afraid to read the new responses to this thread because I wasn't sure how that would go.  Now for the hard part.  What is your quit plan?

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In response to Jon... While that may be "truth bomb"... Don't say that there are few people on here that have taken the amount that Rth has been taking. I am a small lady and have been on the stuff for about 10 years. I have def done some large dosing and I'm sure several others have too. When I was really binging I wouldn't keep track (on purpose)... The shame is bad enough so let's not rub that one in. It sounds high and it is very high. I take really large doses of IR when I am being bad.

 

Here is how I am doing well... right now. I have done well and gotten bad again so I hope I can keep this up. I take my prescribed dose just to get out of bed. I am still tired and crave something, but if I do something to keep my head right it's better. Going to physical therapy and staying busy or not putting too much pressure on myself to get stuff done helps. Right now I am not checking email very much, not doing any crafting at all. But I am healthier and healing mentally and physically and I have not quit. I am on the dose that I can maintain on at this time.

 

I am not a very good writer and have pain issues. This time of day my wrists give out so I hope my post makes sense.

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Oh and Rth... My husband fell in love w/ me during my unhappy years on this drug. I was very honest w/ him. He has no experience w/ this or any drugs, as he joined the militairy at age 18. He has never known me w/out this drug. I have had many bad binges on the drug, followed by tears and eventual confessions. He hasn't always understood or been happy, but he loves me and I feel that when I am honest, I do better on the drug. I have even given my bottle to him and had him give me my prescribed daily dosage. He is not great at this ( too lax ;), but I am militant w/ him and his nightly heart medicine. Maybe that is an option for helping you to taper. Give your girlfriend your bottle and have her give you just enough for you to function for your job. Maybe you can get through this way and not have to take time off... Since you have been on it 2 years this might be possible.

 

If not, take time off. If you love her, immerse yourself in loving her and being honest. It really helps w/ the shame :)

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