Freedom's Wings

" THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE RELOADED" WELCOME ALL!

63 posts in this topic

. It's so sad but I truly feel like I'm going to be stronger because of it. No regrets just moving forward. If i didn't try addy in high school, I'm sure I would have in college or later in life. I'm just glad I got that over with early in my life. 110% recovery let's goo!!

That is the way I feel too.  Before Adderall, I always used to joke that I was glad that the "good" stimulants were illegal because I would surely be an addict.  When Adderall became widely available and easily accessible, of course I did become addicted and spent the next nine years of my life on speed. or withdrawing and rebuilding my tolerance so I could get high again.  I couldn't see how harmful the weekly withdrawls were until after I quit.  (I had a binge and purge approach to Adderall until I became a daily addict.)  It is a life lesson that I had to learn, and if I didn't have the experience of a stimulant addiction, I would still be chasing them.  No regrets from me either.  I believed Adderall helped me through a tough time in my life and I will not second guess that belief now or try to re-write my own history.  It is what it was.  The biggest life lesson I learned was how harmful an addiction to anything can become.  And it can progress quickly and cause lasting damage to your life.  Learning and applying that important lesson of addiction avoidance is what will make my own recovery 110% complete.  

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That is the way I feel too.  Before Adderall, I always used to joke that I was glad that the "good" stimulants were illegal because I would surely be an addict.  When Adderall became widely available and easily accessible, of course I did become addicted and spent the next nine years of my life on speed. or withdrawing and rebuilding my tolerance so I could get high again.  I couldn't see how harmful the weekly withdrawls were until after I quit.  (I had a binge and purge approach to Adderall until I became a daily addict.)  It is a life lesson that I had to learn, and if I didn't have the experience of a stimulant addiction, I would still be chasing them.  No regrets from me either.  I believed Adderall helped me through a tough time in my life and I will not second guess that belief now or try to re-write my own history.  It is what it was.  The biggest life lesson I learned was how harmful an addiction to anything can become.  And it can progress quickly and cause lasting damage to your life.  Learning and applying that important lesson of addiction avoidance is what will make my own recovery 110% complete.  

I agree 100%. I believe I was hooked after my first addy. So for me, avoidance of addiction is synonymous with avoidance of addictive substances. Especially stimulants. For example, there's a pre-workout supplement called CRAZE that is used by a lot of people. Apparently, it has a chemical in it which is scarily similar in structure to meth. Pre-addy addiction I would have been all over that shit. Now, there's no way in hell I'd try that stuff.

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Tessa,

What day is this? Im just checking in to show some support. I just wanna say, although I've been busy, even when im not posting to this tread I make it a habit to check in on you. Keep striving! You can beat this!

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ATTN: I JUST WANT TO REMIND EVERYONE THAT THIS THREAD/ FORUM IS AN OPEN FORUM, SO ANYONE AND I MEAN ANYONE INTERESTED IN TAKING "THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE. " MAKE TODAY YOUR DAY. MAKE TODAY THE DAY YOU SAY I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOUR WISHY WAsHY WAYS ADDERALL! I'M TAKING BACK CONTROL OF MY LIFE AND I'M NOT ASKING YOUR PERMISSION! NEVERMIND YESTERDAY, NEVERMIND THIS MORNING, NEVERMIND 5MINUTES AGO! If YOU ARE READY TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WHOLLY, TRULY, AND TO THE FULLEST AND YOU HAVE HAD ENOUGH, STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND TAKE THE CHALLENGE! THIS CHALLENGE "IS" FOR YOU! YOU CAN BEAT THIS THING AND WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU!

Be WeLL!

Fw

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@blesbro...nailed it

Nailed it. For one im super hard on myself i dont even fealize it but the lightnulb went on in theraoy when i was about to give my self credit for something and hesitated..her mentioning that and me seeing it from outsidd of myself has helped me notice now when it hapens or is Bout too. It will take years or who really knows till i can feel secure and confident and proud of myself. I def make it alot harder than it is and i almost have to laugh because as i was reading that in ur post my brain goes...ok im makong it harder than it is things could br worse but does that mean im comparring myself to others to make myself feel better? Shouldny i fully embrace this shit so i can wipe the dust off my hands and be free from it?

Than on and on the mind train goesa

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Day 10- ate like a boss, feel like nothing can hold me down today. I feel very optimistic about the future. I believe I'm going to win this time. I believe it.

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Amy,

Let me be the first to welcome you! I am so excited you have decided to accept " The 30 day challenge" only those who have walked in our shoes knows the true distance of 30 days when breaking free from this drug. I am here to say you can do it , you are doing it! Congrats on day 10! We are here for you. Keep posting and be WeLl!

Fw

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Way to make the commitment and congratulations on being 1/3 of the way there! You can do this; keep up the good work.

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@blesbro...nailed it

Nailed it. For one im super hard on myself i dont even fealize it but the lightnulb went on in theraoy when i was about to give my self credit for something and hesitated..her mentioning that and me seeing it from outsidd of myself has helped me notice now when it hapens or is Bout too. It will take years or who really knows till i can feel secure and confident and proud of myself. I def make it alot harder than it is and i almost have to laugh because as i was reading that in ur post my brain goes...ok im makong it harder than it is things could br worse but does that mean im comparring myself to others to make myself feel better? Shouldny i fully embrace this shit so i can wipe the dust off my hands and be free from it?

Than on and on the mind train goesa

Tessa I'm not sure what else to say to you. You need to make to make a commitment to YOURSELF that you will quit addy for good. Until that happens, there's not much else anyone else on these forums can do for you. At some point you need to wake up and and scream at the top of your lungs, "WILL THE REAL TESSA PLEASE STAND UP!!!" You won't be able to feel secure, confident, and proud of yourself until you hang up the drug, for good. It's a difficult situation and I understand it completely. We are here for you when you are ready to make your life better than you can even imagine. It all starts with a simple decision to quit adderall FOREVER. Quitting adderall is very, very difficult. That's pretty obvious. The good news is once you defeat that demon with pure, natural, inner strength you WILL feel so confident and proud of yourself I can guarantee it. Keep coming back :)

 

http://youtu.be/xM_7j6t9IyU

 

Watch this video, it's school related but can be applied to any other situation in life. Bottom line is, nobody has motivation to do anything in their lives until they want it bad enough. It seems like you just don't want to quit badly enough, yet. Keep telling yourself all the negatives adderall causes you and keep telling yourself all the positives you will notice after fully recovering from addiction. 

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Day 11. All good. Well, of course there's plenty of crap going on but it's going on and I'm not taking adderall.

I can honestly say, there's no way in hell this would be happening if it weren't for the support and interaction I have found on this site. I'm so happy to connect with such a great group of smart, funny, caring, chill, honest people. I'll probably be mushy again next week so just humor me. You folks are so so great. Thank you.

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I just watched that video that Blesbro referred to in his post.  It reminded me just how badly I wanted to be successful when it came time to kick the Adderall habit.  I wanted to be done with that awful addiction worse than anything else in my life.

 

Congrats for getting through day 11, AmyQ. I believe you have finally found the will and the tools to quit and stay quit for good.

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Good job on day 11, things will ebb and flow between crazy and lazy; it's bound to happen.  We are here for you when you need us.

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Another day on the books. When life gives you lemons make Gatorade. Keep grinding through it and things will get better. This victory will be yours!

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I'm holding up okay...

Feeling my resolve weaken....

I notice when I feel that weakness it is a trigger that instantly sends me in a spiral of self hatred. I see it clearly. It's literally a minute by minute practice to be mindful of my thoughts right now. It's exhausting.

BUT yesterday is gone. Today is an opportunity to practice and get a little stronger.

I'll catch up with you all next Wednesday. I'm going to be away from the internet. Enjoy your weekend.

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Amy,

Congratulations on day 12. I really think you're setting yourself up for success by posting and sharing and asking questions. I posted like crazy for a long time about almost anything and continued to receive helpful feedback from the members on this site that I could never repay them for and knowing you're not alone is a big part of it too. You're doing great, woman!

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I'm holding up okay...

Feeling my resolve weaken....

I notice when I feel that weakness it is a trigger that instantly sends me in a spiral of self hatred. I see it clearly. It's literally a minute by minute practice to be mindful of my thoughts right now. It's exhausting.

BUT yesterday is gone. Today is an opportunity to practice and get a little stronger.

I'll catch up with you all next Wednesday. I'm going to be away from the internet. Enjoy your weekend.

My therapist (not my prescribing doctor) told me to think of those thoughts (the ones where we are triggered to use) as clouds. Notice the cloud, recognize that it's there, and then watch it pass until it's gone. This little exercise has really helped me.

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Day 16. No adderall.

Day 5. No cigs.

Awesome!  I kicked the cigs within a month of quitting Adderall.  I read somewhere that quitting smoking success was enhanced when you quit something else and make those big lasting lifestyle changes.  I found that to be true for me. 

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Welcome home AmyQ. I am happy you have such good news to report. We are all pulling for you to succeed.

 

How was the weather in the mountains? Anything seen through the binoculars?

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