Shorti125

feeling like a failure

7 posts in this topic

I posted on here one other time .. the first time I got prescribed adderall .. I was on 10s .. went through the whole 60 .. second time I said I wouldn't do that again but this time I was on 20's .. that didn't last an I went through it within a week .. had bad withdrawls an finally was back to myself.. when time came to get refills I thought I could have my mother hold them for me an hide them .. well I found them an was taking one in the morning then a 10 then a whole one at four .. an then halfs .. I starting thinking to myself I can't keep doing this an going through withdrawls every month .. so I told my mom I found the pills so she hide them again .. now I am going crazy because I am coming dowb from them an I hate this feeling .. I am going to call my doctor tomorrow an tell him I don't like how they make me feel an want a non- stim one . I can't handle this anymore the come down is horrible

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Calling your doctor and admitting you have an issue is a huge first step. Congrats!  Asking you Mom to hide your pills from you is a sure sign your an addict.   Withdrawal and recovery are difficult but a whole lot easier than living in the special hell that is Adderall addiction.  You can read more what to expect in the early stages of sobriety  in the article section of this site. Post often and let us know how you are doing. 

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Thanks for replying .. I am calling tomorrow I don't even know why in starting taking them again I was doing fine after withdrawls .. if I stop taking them now will the withdrawls be as bad ...I don't wanna live that life an keep doing this to myself ..

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I posted on here one other time .. the first time I got prescribed adderall .. I was on 10s .. went through the whole 60 .. second time I said I wouldn't do that again but this time I was on 20's .. that didn't last an I went through it within a week .. had bad withdrawls an finally was back to myself.. when time came to get refills I thought I could have my mother hold them for me an hide them .. well I found them an was taking one in the morning then a 10 then a whole one at four .. an then halfs .. I starting thinking to myself I can't keep doing this an going through withdrawls every month .. so I told my mom I found the pills so she hide them again .. now I am going crazy because I am coming dowb from them an I hate this feeling .. I am going to call my doctor tomorrow an tell him I don't like how they make me feel an want a non- stim one . I can't handle this anymore the come down is horrible

 

Hey shorti,

 

You have an addictive personality towards adderall! Most of us adderallics on these forums were just like you. We could not for the life of us control how much we took because we are adderallics. When you're addicted to something, you simply cannot control how much you use. Period. I remember a time when I stopped taking adderall for several months and eventually I went back to it and started at 5mgs per day! I told myself, "I can control how much I can take and will not take more than 5mgs per day!" After a couple weeks, I was taking 10mgs every day. Two more weeks went by, and I was taking 20mgs per day. A few months later, I was up to 60-80 mgs per day. The withdrawals are one thing, but adderall can and will destroy your life if you continue down this road. I know it hasn't yet, which makes it that much harder to quit for good. The addiction is all too good at tricking yourself that you will be able to control it. And when you even take 5mgs, you lose all control. Which means 100% abstinence is absolutely necessary. Adderall does a great job at ruining peoples lives. Please do yourself a favor and make a plan to NEVER EVER take adderall ever again because no matter what your brain tries to tell you, you cannot control yourself. You have an adderall addiction. It wouldn't hurt to tell your doc that you took your entire script in a weeks time. Don't tell him you don't like how it makes you feel because then he might put you on ritalin or another stimulant based drug which will probably end the same way as adderall. Tell him you have abuse problems with it. Some people, like myself, can't handle strong stimulants. You are the same way I am sorry to say. Glad to see you back here. Keep coming back no matter what happens because we are here to help you get out of this mess!

 

Blesbro

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I would like to add that if you were prescribed 60 x 20mg adderalls and went through them in a weeks time, you were taking 150+ mgs per day!! And that was only on your second script! Imagine what your 10th or 20th script might look like. You could cause serious harm to body and even end up in the emergency room if this continues. Please be safe and act in your own self interest and get off the stuff for good!

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Hey Shorti,

 

How are you feeling today?  I hope you are okay. Please keep us posted.

 

Hugs!

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