128 posts in this topic

This site is a God send in helping you to not feel all alone.

It has for me too. Of course you're never truly alone, the NSA is always watching.
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Thanks FW, weather is still 50/50 so it's up in the air

I tried supplements and found no improvement but I am willing to try them again for the brain fog. Any suggestions for boosting metabolism?

 

 

A bit pricey Q1. I will def have to check it out. I need something for metabolism.

May I suggest (sugarfree) Red Bull?  "Stimulates the metabolism".   It says so on each and every can!

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There is a lot for me to respond to in the above conversation.  Regarding the snow removal, I welcome each snow storm as an activity opportunity.  Whenever possible, I use the shovel instead of the power equipment for the sake of physical exercise.

I even shovel the back steps / deck just for the dog.  Don't know much about the wi thing.

 

Regarding the fear of taking on a new task, I can totally relate to that.  Even tasks that are entirely my own, regardless of a deadline, I still get hung up on those.  And it seems like the more it matters, the harder it is to get started.  I found that work assignments with a deadline were (are) especially stressful, even if it is not difficult.  And when it is a task I have to figure out, that is when the paralysis sets in.  It gets a little better with time, but I still struggle with this issue.  My confidence has mostly returned, thank goodness.  I still have to force myself to do certain social things and I am still rebuilding my courage to go out. 

 

Finally, Jon, you didn't fuck up any worse that anybody else around here.  We all fucked up by choosing to take a fucked up drug.  When it comes to the amount taken and the duration of the addiction, I have seen no consistency amongst the posters on this site.  Same thing with the challenges and length of our recovery periods.  I assume that those who have regularly posted then disappeared from the forums have either fully recovered or relapsed.  I can usually tell how committed to one's recovery is by the tone of their posts, and that usually remains constant.  Even though I come here often, I rarely think back to my life of addiction anymore.  If I can create an entire post (like this one) without using the A word, I know I have made significant personal progress in growing away from that time of my life.

Thank you quitonce for having the kindness and guts to comment on the fear that I have used too long to have a graceful recovery. The truth is that I have made signifigant progress since the early days. It's just the snails pace of it and the setbacks that send the primal fear of "too much for too long" shooting through my spine again. I try to remain positive during these brief but persistent periods. It's a lot easier when I come here and find a friend in recovery.

 

Justin, You have a good point about the brain fog being responsible for making us have less confidence when approaching new tasks or forgetting old ones. There are times when I feel impaired and make mistakes. There are other times when I feel like my memory has actually improved, by pulling names out of a hat and wonder, where did that come from? Have you experienced that as well?

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My not much of anything list:

 

12/25 - 21 pushups

12/26 - 25 eye raisers

12/26 - 42 curls

12/27 - 22 pushups

12/28 - nada thing

12/29 - 3 mile walk

12/30 - 46 military presses

12/31 - 46 curls

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Thank you quitonce for having the kindness and guts to comment on the fear that I have used too long to have a graceful recovery. The truth is that I have made signifigant progress since the early days. It's just the snails pace of it and the setbacks that send the primal fear of "too much for too long" shooting through my spine again. I try to remain positive during these brief but persistent periods. It's a lot easier when I come here and find a friend in recovery.

 

Justin, You have a good point about the brain fog being responsible for making us have less confidence when approaching new tasks or forgetting old ones. There are times when I feel impaired and make mistakes. There are other times when I feel like my memory has actually improved, by pulling names out of a hat and wonder, where did that come from? Have you experienced that as well?

Ive experienced both sides of this coin Jon, however, when the latter happens I usually attribute it to my mind steadily repairing itself.

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Happy New Year Jus, Jon, LuLu, Q1, ZeroK, and everyone whose name I didn't mention. May you own this year and be blessed!

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Still plodding away:

1/2 - 22 lateral raises

1/3 - 2.5 hours in split sessions snow removal.

1/4 - one hour walk in the snow.

1/5 - one hour shoveling snow

1/6 22 pushups

1/7 46 curls and 46 shoulder pressses.

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Way to go Jon! Keep plugging away at it!

Ive done the treadmill once. I get most of my exercise at work right now, but Im looking to really improve on that next week.

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I will give you an honest answer, not well.  I feel really drained lately; thus my lessened participation here on the forum, I apologize for that.  I still love everyone here and I'm not going to relapse, this is just a difficult time for me and I feel extremely over subscribed and a fair amount of self loathing because I keep beating myself up over my lack of progress at work (even though I look back at the past two weeks and I have accomplished a lot for our organization and church).  I read something interesting this afternoon that gave me a glimmer of hope, I will paraphrase it here, a managers day can be described as being interruption driven.

 

Sorry if that is a little dark.  It sounds worse than it is.  You are all still in my prayers daily.

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Jus,

How you're feeling is normal. I'm sorry you have been down lately, but this site is not for fairytales or pretend happiness; so im glad that you said exactly how you're feeling so we can be here for you. What do you think has you in such a funk, if you are doing so well at work and church? What are your expectations?

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I expect the moon dang it!

 

I volunteered on the "Take down" team and in children's ministries at church and then I stumbled into IT support for the children's ministry.  I'm thrilled to be serving, but I wasn't expecting to be serving every Sunday but one during the month.  Then yesterday was the first day back to college after a 6 year break.  I also have a project at work that has been hanging on for 2 years that I am not allowed to allocate resources to so it drags on; plus I have been trying to put out all the fires caused by a major software update since the first of the year.  Pile all that on a person who's not been sleeping well for the past month and a half and some other personal difficulties and you get me where I was at yesterday - a wreck.  I'm doing better today though; I just made it through this week's coursework for one and a half of my classes; that improved my mood quite a bit.  Time for lunch and then going to hit the books some more (in between interruptions that is).

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Salve Jus,

 

Well, it sounds like you have a lot going on, indeed. I like to think that even though I get extremely overwhelmed at times, having a lot going on is better than having nothing at all happening.  Boredom is most feared adversary these days. It seems to me you're making progress. Don't forget to let yourself off the hook every once in a while.  :blush: I'm glad you are feeling better today.  :D 

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1/8 - 5 Minutes of juggling

1/9 - 46 curls

1/10 - 50 shoulder presses

1/11 - 46 curls

1/12 - nothing - I missed my walk of the week. It was raining.

1/13 - 23 pushups

1/14 - 10 lateral and 10 front shoulder raises

 

It is challanging to do one activity a day. I feel better than doing nothing or having no goals at all.

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Good job Jon!

 

I love to see the one day pledge FW - it's a great way to start and non-threatening to keep it short.

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iPledge to stop procrastinating my future

To help you dig deeper ZK, how do you pledge to stop procrastinating your future? Is there something, one thing that you can put in writing that you will do today or tomorrow to spark your progress? 

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Good job Jon!

 

I love to see the one day pledge FW - it's a great way to start and non-threatening to keep it short.

Thanks Jus. Do you have any pledges to post? 

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I really need to finish this project I've been working on.  I have about 15 days until it is due. I've been working on it . It just needs to come together now.  I really wish I'd spent more time on it instead of fucking around.

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iPledge to make it through this semester in 1 piece; that's all I can commit to at this point.

 

FW - I knew we were close to the same age, but I didn't realize how close LOL.

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iPledge to make it through this semester in 1 piece; that's all I can commit to at this point.

 

FW - I knew we were close to the same age, but I didn't realize how close LOL.

Maybe that's why we gel. lol. Anyway, making it through the semester ( in one piece ) is huge. The task of being in school alone is a huge commitment. School is my next step.  Keep us posted on your progress. 

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ZK,

 

Then perhaps you can pledge to set aside a time frame to work on your project. This forum is not only for huge commitments, but day to day commitments. So feel free to make daily or weekly pledges to yourself by listing them here, then later confirming whether you've met your goal. It can be as simple as pledging to wake up early tomorrow to get a good start on the day. "Together we can share, support, and build momentum towards our destiny.  

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