Freedom's Wings

" THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE RELOADED" WELCOME ALL!!

658 posts in this topic

Day 12. Done. Today was rough. My husband flipped the psycho switch & I had his dad come and get him out of the house. As I was vacuuming broken glass my mind started scrambling to find ways to numb. I thought about the scripts at my pharmacy and whether it was the 18th and I daydreamed about eating meds and going back into my head so I wouldn't care about anything..... But it's not May 18th. And I'd rather be alone than married and medicated.

It's scary how deep I went into that idea. But whatever.

Life happened today. Shit hit the fan. I handled it without numbing. I'm not dead. My heart hurts but I'm not dying. I dealt with major shit tonight without adderall. And I'm ok.

I had to vent. You guys are my sounding board. I really need to get out and reconnect with mankind. Or I could call my mom. I'm going to sleep. Hope you're all having a good week so far. Xoooo

7 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry to learn how difficult day 12 was for you Amy, but you made it through without numbing. I'm proud of you. Keep putting your quit first. I hope things get better for you later this week. Today's test was hard enough. Good work on venting here. It's a safe place to do that. Tomorrow will be a better day.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 10 check in. It has been rough. I've been completely spaced out feeling and have a lot of anxiety knowing that everything is up to me and me alone now vs that medication. It's intimidating. I told my doc no more so I eliminated my supply. I don't have desire to get back on the med

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hang in there BB - you're a third of the way through the challenge!

 

Glad to see you kicking this thing FW!

 

How was day 13 Amy?  I hope it was better.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 12, good to go. Work getting easier. Taking 5-HTP at night to help sleep better and to help with anxiety.

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 13. First weekend day adderall free and without flu. Today was good. Watched 2 movies at home with the fiancé. Currently enjoying a beer I haven't had in years. I forgot how much I liked beer since mostly over the past few years I had been drinking liquor to help me sleep coming off Badderall days.

I noticed that time goes much slower off adderall. It seems like each day lasts longer, which initially was bad. Longer torture. But over the past 2-3 days it has been refreshing.

I am proud of all the others ... AmyQ jWings FW that are with me in this challenge:)

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

mmm...beeeer - I haven't had a beer in a couple of months; been trying to stay alcohol free during school.  It's finals week so I may crack one to celebrate this weekend.  I'm glad to see that you are pushing through BB and are at the half way point.  Congratulations!

 

FW - It's nice to see you owning the TDC once again!  Keep going my friend.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 16, 17, & 18- still good.

I finally got my scripts from the pharmacy. I haven't burnt them or shredded them yet.....

My addiction has revved up the scheming....

I'll deal with it. I haven't told anyone that I still have those 2 scripts. I know that's stupid. I have to dig deep before the 18th. I don't want to suffer through this again- knowing my long term supply is cut off helps a lot.

Just venting and trying to be somewhat accountable to someone.

Have a great week guys.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 16, 17, & 18- still good.

I finally got my scripts from the pharmacy. I haven't burnt them or shredded them yet.....

My addiction has revved up the scheming....

I'll deal with it. I haven't told anyone that I still have those 2 scripts. I know that's stupid. I have to dig deep before the 18th. I don't want to suffer through this again- knowing my long term supply is cut off helps a lot.

Just venting and trying to be somewhat accountable to someone.

Have a great week guys.

Are these the scripts your doctor asked you to return?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Half way there BB!  Keep going.

 

How are things treating you FW?

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Day 26 - still clean and moving forward.

Great to see so many folks on here. I need to do better about keeping up. 

The Wellbutrin has certainly helped keep me from the lowest of lows, but it's still been tough. However, I am feeling good considering everything and look forward to keeping this streak alive!

 

BB - nice work on making it to the halfway mark! 

FW - We are on this path right next to each other, very cool!!

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now