Freedom's Wings

" THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE RELOADED" WELCOME ALL!!

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Nice work Mad Hatter!  Early withdrawl is the worst!It gets better ... 

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ZK, I sure hope so!

 

Day 14 & 15 -  Now history

 

I'm halfway there...

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Day 13 no smokes. I don't want a smoke I want to stop wanting smokes. looking forward to more focused days this is hard

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Day 14 no smokes... physical withdrawal is pretty much over but mental withdrawl is still very strong gonna be another difficult week. As well I am gaining weight rapidly. I need to find some reasonable diet plan and stick to it.  Gonna get through today. Tomorow is wordpress camp day. 

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Hi forum!

Last night I was up reading this thread. I found everyone so inspiring especially sweetcarolinee and her positive energy and optimistic outlook. After much deliberation of whether I had the willpower, I have decided to commit to the 30 day challenge. Today is my second day of not popping the pill and I feel good! I was only on a fairly low dose but I am pretty sensitive to medications so it def took a toll on my system. There are a couple of things that I want to remember about why I'm choosing to let the medication go so I'll list them here for future reference when I feel tempted.. Feel free to skip reading as it may be lengthy..

1. I've gained weight in the most unflattering spots (face, thighs, tummy). I run a lot and I practice Pilates regularly so this weight gain is so shocking to me. I have noticed my eating habits are really weird and I would robotically eat and never feel full.

2. My skin looks terrible. Emerging pimples and dry skin. I worked so hard at clearing my skin up when I was younger and now i really compromised my diligent efforts and all the time I put into fixing it before.

3. I don't feel particularly proud or amazed when I complete something. My heart and mind are going so fast that I can't even appreciate my work anymore. Especially true after a run. I just don't get that endorphins rush of joy at the end.

4. I see other girls and feel envious that they haven't succumbed to this pill. They look relaxed, happy, and just in better condition than me despite my maniac over the top efforts. Maybe more really is less. Looking stressed isn't pretty.

5. It hasn't helped me focus on schoolwork. I just feel more capable and energetic but my readings aren't any more easier and I read even slower because I'm fixated on understanding every sentence.

6. I'm tired of worrying about the side effects and if anyone knows I'm on something.

So I want to remember these things along with my triggers. I know in the morning it is hard for me as I usually want to get into the gym and adderall helped my motivation. But I've found the motivation to go to the gym the last two days without adderall's help and I felt so friggin proud of myself when I was done. Like the old me with sweat dripping down my face. I felt like every step I took was bringing me closer to my recovery. I feel like coffee is helping a lot right now. And this website. And looking at people I aspire to be like and realizing adderall is like a stealthy toxin that's polluting my body and not bringing me any closer to what I want to accomplish. I compromised my own hard work that I put into myself before acquiring the prescription. It's time to leave the pills behind and take pride in what I can accomplish through my own accord. Some days will be tough but I am really confident that with summer here and the sun shining, I can get myself on track.

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Congrats Newbury!

 

I feel the same way about post adderall exercise. There's a much better feeling of accomplishment without the pills. (Probably because its so much harder lol)

 

 

Day 24 - Out the door

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Thanks, Madhatter!

 

Congratulations on your progress to you and everyone! It certainly isn't as easy as it would seem!

 

Day 3 down. Wahoo :) 

 

The mornings are tough but once I get through the AM hours, the rest of the day my cravings subside. I keep telling myself not today, I won't slip back today. What scares me the most though is that my mind thinks about it a lot and I allow myself to contemplate going back to the prescription at a later date. Just not today. Anyone care to share any mantras that help them through?

 

One day at a time, I suppose. And I'm really enjoying my sobriety. Life is really good when your mind isn't in some altered state. 

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Keep up that positive self talk just like you're doing. That really helped for me. Great job!

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Wtg mad hatter. This is a major accomplishment very few people join this site and join the60 day club. You are battling hard for a good cause.

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So this isn't as easy as I once thought. I went against my word this weekend and took my prescribed dose to get through my weekend of classes. The mind has an evil way of justifying things when it wants. Today, I woke up and came to the conclusion that adderall actually is causing too many side effects that aren't ok for me and the way I have felt on it doesn't even feel great enough to overlook the negatives, I failed the challenge but I think I had to solidify my reasons for wanting off by feeling it out in the classroom setting again. I'm meeting with a dear friend tonight. I'm giving him the prescription so he can dispose of it as I can't see myself flushing them down the toilet. Also, I am calling my doctor to tell her I no longer need to come into see her as I no longer want the medication. I feel more at peace with my mind and know that I get rid of the temptation I have my solid tested reasons for not taking the medication.

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