Freedom's Wings

" THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE RELOADED" WELCOME ALL!!

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Day one went well. My friend and I took out to daughters to a place called "the Grove" in LA (outside mall) It was a warm sunny day here and we went to lunch and windowed shopped. Tomorrow church and I will try to stay busy. Maybe catch up on"Sons of Anarchy" and do laundry. I will check in and read alittle more.

SweetCaroline

Thank you for the encouragement. I don't have any pills at home I tend to mooch off a friend of mine. I have been honest with her but when I want it I am very persuasive. She does not abuse anything so it's easy. Not proud of my behavior . I don't go to school I am a 46 yr old mom of 3. Work and have Fridays off. The hard part for me is coming home with the kids. Helping with Homework (as a parent it's the worst part) lol. Dinner, laundry, baths and mixed in with alittle bit of yelling I get overwhelmed and want to use just to push through it and get what I need to get done because I am exhausted. My habit in the the last 6-9 mths is off 3-5 days (addy) then on 4-7 days. I have to push through it. I love the Michael Jorden quote! It's funny most of u are a lot younger but when I was in my outpatient program I always clicked and related to the 20 something college kids.

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Day 23: free as a bird!!!!!!!

 

Luckyducky: you got this, great job, keep going and feel better! Eat lots of yummy chicken noddle soup and watch lots of good TV :)

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@SweetCarolinee - Way to go on getting through another weekend!

 

@Luckyducky - glad to see that you are picking yourself back up!  We all want to kill our spouses at one time or another; that's why they say there is a thin line between love and hate LOL.

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Sweet Caroline - you got this!!!!

Lucky- glad you feel better! Hope you have a great day with the kiddos!!

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Great job everyone and thank you ALL for your amazing support, it means so much!

 

Day 24 & hot yoga: check & check :)

 

We got this Luckyducky and everyone else!!

 

I gotta get me some sleep but I'll be on here tomorrow, everyone have a great night!

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Lucky I am very proud and I know you are proud of yourself for not giving into temptation. Idk what advice others would give. But I know for myself. I CAN NOT have access to it! Or I could and would easily justify using. There would ALWAYS be a project that needed to be finished... a deadline I had to meet... Housework that had to be done... the list is never ending..

You said you can be VERY PERSUASIVE and can always talk a friend of yours into giving it to you....maybe you can still use being very persuasive BUT...... this time use it ahead of time to convince her NOT to give into you when you having a bad day. Does she know that you are trying to quit? To me it just seems like you are making it more difficult on yourself by keeping such a easy and convenient way to get your hands on it. I know for myself again the temptation would be to GREAT!!! And my mind would ALWAYS JUSTIFY IT!!! and I also know I would never be able to stop at taking just a few either.. I realize everyone is different. I just want to help encourage you to quit if that's what you want to do...

Sounds like you had a good day... anytime I get to go to target that's a good day. lol

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@Sweetcarolinee - Less than a week to go!  You seem to be owning the 30 day challenge.

 

@Luckyducky - keep fighting the good fight, do you have any strategies to restrict your access yet?

 

@Freebird - any day I go to Target is a business meeting

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I am going to hop on here and track my (hopefully) 30 days with you all! I started a thread that helped me tear up my next prescription. 

I am on Day 4 of being clean (three-day weekend was nice - my wife and I completely unplugged and just relaxed). 

There is a good chance my Day 30 could coincide with the birth of my first child, which is why I decided it's now or never! 

This is the first day back at the office and I can tell I am sluggish and wish I was home, but I am going to power through. Picked up some L-Tyrosine this weekend, so hopefully that will help a little.

Thanks!

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Thank you Free bird and sweetcaroline!!! Today is day 4 and I gave my sons add meds to my oldest in a Sunday thru Saturday pill container so he can distribute it to the youngest so I don't even see it. I have shared with my friend but she is someone who has never

Struggled or has any family members with addiction issues. It's my responsibility to own my addiction and I am the one who chooses to seek it. I do feel physically better today and my house is a disaster. The kids had to scramble to find clothes but I'm gonna let this go for now. I love someone's post about no motivation. I am also doing small task and just making myself start it and do it. It's amazing what happens when I just get up and start it!!!! Xxxxxxxooooooo

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Freebird I love the post above where u said u missed out on a lot . I can totally relate and sometimes I get really sad about that. I know I can't get it back but I have to say my biggest blocker is I try to remember I may not get back those years but I can make new memories and enjoy the future. I have to say I have really enjoyed my kids this last week and half.

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Good for you lucky!!!! I don't really beat myself up about it because at this point it wouldn't do myself or the boys any good. I mean I WAS THERE physically. I NEVER missed a football game, soccer game, a school function, home everyday when they got home from school, etc. but I WASN't REALLY THERE because my mind was going a thousand miles a hour with all these random ideas of things I thought I HAD to do. When really none of those things were really that important. But I couldn't see that, at the time. And my boys or my husband or not resentful or angry with me either, they are being very supportive and glad that I finally recognized myself that I had a problem.

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Hey guys!

Day 25: check -- 5 days to go guys (and then the rest of my lifetime haha)

I also got in a 5 mile jog. Woot. We're getting snowed in right now! I'm in CT. Everyone please keep warm and safe in this crazy ass, freezing weather. It's bitter to the bones out there. Sucks walking the dogs.

@FreeBird: Thank you for being so supportive and lovely. Your picture is beautiful by the way and I hope you are doing well!

@FW & Justin: Thanks for also being so supportive, you guys are the best.

@Luckyducky: Your doing great, stay strong. We got this and you'll be at 30 days in no time :)

@Jay: Welcome buddy! I read the entire thread you started and it was great and so inspiring. Good for you! I'm so glad you found this site and joined. I'm also glad your finding the strength to quit Adderall for good and congratulations on your first baby on the way. That is absolutely amazing and you should be so proud! Just keep reminding yourself of why your doing this and how much of a better person, lawyer, husband/boyfriend, and father you will be without that evil little pill. You can do it! We're proud of you and we're all here for you for any support needed along the way! Getttttt it.

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Welcome to the 30 day challenge Jay!

Congratulations on your continued progress Luckyducky and SweetCarolinee!

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Day 5 - check.

SweetCarolinee - thanks for the kind words. I am doing my best to keep my eye on the prize. 

 

Today was the first day I realized that if I had filled my prescription, I would have totally slipped up. Work seems so much more mundane and I have less energy for it. This is probably the reality of my job and that scares me, but I also know that my brain is not pumping out all the feel good neurotransmitters at alarming rates like it did while I was on adderall.  Thank you all for giving me the courage to tear up the prescription, otherwise I likely would have been on my way to the pharmacy with a good excuse as to why I needed it. 

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Way to go, Jay! There is strength in numbers. Glad you decided to join the challenge. Before the three of you ( Sweet C, Lucky,and Jay) know it, you'll be running the victory lap! Keep pushing, keep posting. Be WeLL!

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Hello everyone

I have used the last day and a half. Cleaning my house is the biggest trigger. The reason I have a really hard time is because in the beginning of 2013 while I was doing my outpatient program and working really hard I learned to prioritize and not let my house be such a trigger. The amazing thing was I finally learned how to balance my house and when I felt that trigger coming on I would use my tools I learned in rehab. Well July 26 the day after I graduated from my 7 mth program I broke my foot (jones fracture) I was put into a cast and had to be off my foot for 12 weeks well about 8 weeks in my oldest son came to me and said he was suicidal and depressed and couldn't handle the stress of the home and felt he wanted to go away and get help. So I put him in an inpatient program for teens. Meanwhile my first grader (extremely adhd impulsive ) was have a horrible time in school and parents complaining wanting to bring in lawyers. I did not want to medicate my son but 1 week before my oldest told me he was suicidL I put him on stimulates and put him in a social skills class and weekly therapy. Back to the oldest while he is in this program I am required to attend 2 days of therapy with him and all day sat family group with him. So now I am attending 5 days a week therapy with my boys. I also have. Daughter (not add) who is playing softball. So all my reg NA meetings I was a attending get pushed aside of course. So this is the camel that broke my back my husband had been sober off pot & alcohol for 8 yrs. and sober from everything. I start to suspect my husband is on meth. This where I start using addy again....Back to teen son in therapy he keeps complaining how I don't take care of the house and the laundry is piled up and it's a huge trigger for him. I explain to therapist how my foot has been broken and I have been in a outpatient program for 6 mths prior. He comes down hard on me and says there is no excuse your so s mental health should be the most important thing and if you want him to come home you have to take care of the house and hVe a peaceful home for him (the little adhd boy drove him crazy too). Good news the meds and therapy worked great on my little one and he is off to a great start! The teen and I have to do a contract and I am to keep the house and laundry up on a daily basis so he does feel anxiety which leads to suicidal thoughts. So now were are at the end of nov. I am approved to walk with a walking boot and go back to work. My teen is also coming home in a week and my husband is cracked out! I make him take a pee test it comes up dirty so I make him move out into a so er living and he starts a outpatient treatment program. By the way he has always thought my addiction to pills was a joke and I am weak! He has never supported me. Well my son comes home and I am on the roller coaster tring to quit. 4 days clean 2 days use 5 days clean 4 day use...my husband has come home and he is self absorbed in his recovery and can't help with anything. My teen has been calling me out in and out of therapy in the the last 3 weeks because I have really been trying to not use so the house/laundry is horrible. So the guilt of the house and I hate the mess too always flippen pushes me over. I know it's no excuse but I felt I should share my year from hell. I feel like I put myself and my sobriety first for the first half of the year and did great but now I don't know where to turn except here. It's really hard for me to share my story because I feel like people will judge. My addition started 3yrs 3 mths ago and my life was really good (not make believe good) I can't help but blame myself for everything that has transpired in the last 13 mths. Sorry about typos/grammar and so long...

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Day 26: check

I was pretty productive today for once! It feels great :)

Thanks everybody and great job everyone, we got this!

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You are not judged Lucky only Welcomed with open arms. In order to succeed sometimes we must fail, but what lies in the middle is the fact that we are trying. I know it's hard but don't give up, even if you use every other day for the next 6 months. Keep trying and keep posting. This is a journey, not a race. Now, brush yourself off and get back on the horse or should I say wagon. You can do it and most importantly, remember here you are never alone. 

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