Freedom's Wings

" THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE RELOADED" WELCOME ALL!!

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20 days adderall free! 

Oyvey - congrats on 40 days - great to see someone keeping at it just ahead of me. Helps me stay motivated! 

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I have to say all those herbs helped. It didn't not make me high at all. Just awake and more alert that I have been.

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Days 21, 22, 23, 24 - check check check check!

Sorry for the MIA for a few days. Last minute baby prep made me lose track of things! Doing relatively well. Having a baby within days of arrival definitely keeps your mind off of other things! Thanks for all the support and talk with you all tomorrow!

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I am not feeling very happy. I am stuck in a funk. I actually don't feel at all. My therapist rescheduled till next Friday because I mentioned I was fighting a cold and he had a little one at home and didn't want to get her sick. Oh well he gave me more homework. I had to list my triggers which was easy. I feel like I killed my happy part of my brain! This sucks!!

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Good job, jay! I'm rooting for you.

Lucky ducky,

You did kill the happy part of your brain....temporarily. Feeling numb, sad, and just blah are very common when quitting. The anhedonia is rough for awhile. Patience is vital. Things DO improve, and you will feel again...even happiness!

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Awesome work Jay!  The finish line is in sight.

 

LuckyDucky - we all have experienced these feelings but it is only temporary.  I had a strange bout where I lost my self preservation instinct around the 6 month point and it lasted about a month.  What a trip that was!  Keep going through the rough patches, you can do this.

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Day 25 - confirmed.

Luckyducky - I definitely understand the rough patches you are experiencing. The best thing you can do for yourself is find the small victories in each day (even if they are really really small) and come on here and talk it out with those of us that have experienced and/or are experiencing what you are going through. The fact that you logged in today to tell us about your feelings is a huge victory in my book - that tells me you want to get better and want to share your feelings with us to help you do it. You are not hiding from the difficulties of this process, which is what I did before finding this site and it led to multiple failures on my part in quitting. So pat yourself on the back for being strong enough to log on and talk to folks about your experience and keep it up!

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Thank you everyone. I remember when I was in my outpatient program and the head therapist called it "learning to sit in your shit" I think this is the hardest part. I have not been perfect in these last few weeks but have only done 15mg twice and it sucks. I moved up my therapy appt to thurs at 4pm. I feel like I am drowning. Detoxing off opiates was horrible but only using for 9 mths I was mentally back to myself in 6 weeks. I have been using a lot longer on adderall but for some reason it's killing me to go through it. I remembered how those 6 weeks felt like 10 yrs and that is probably why this is so hard. I was traumatized but I have to do it....

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Thank you everyone. I remember when I was in my outpatient program and the head therapist called it "learning to sit in your shit" I think this is the hardest part. I have not been perfect in these last few weeks but have only done 15mg twice and it sucks. I moved up my therapy appt to thurs at 4pm. I feel like I am drowning. Detoxing off opiates was horrible but only using for 9 mths I was mentally back to myself in 6 weeks. I have been using a lot longer on adderall but for some reason it's killing me to go through it. I remembered how those 6 weeks felt like 10 yrs and that is probably why this is so hard. I was traumatized but I have to do it....

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Lucky I have been thinking about you a lot and had a feeling you were in a bad place you know you can PM ANY TIME!!! You have so many people just on this site rooting for you. Not judging you... And we all understand. Like jay said you obviously want to get help. Or you wouldn't be posting. So keep moving forward... even if it seems very slow.... At least it is FORWARD!!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! We are rooting for you. You have taken several steps in the right direction... By seeking support here, finding a therapist, who seems all ready have given you assisments. I am sure it wasn't easy, or I don't think it would be for me to have to face some of things I had rather forget while I was abusing adderall but you are doing your assume the and next week he will you work though that stuff. (I guess) I have never had therapy- could use it I am sure. But I have been to frightened to take that first step in dealing with it besides on this AWESOME forum. again you are in my thoughts and prayers (((hugs))))

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Robin - thank you for such kind words yes I have been in a dark place and I keep praying to find my way through all this darkness. It sucks my 2 best friends are the only ones who know what I am going through. I am greatful for this site. I am so scared that when I get totally clean I will never be happy again or see the world as I once saw it:)

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@Jay - only a few more days until you can move on to the 60 day challenge and one more day closer to being a dad!  You have a lot of positives going for you right now.

 

@LuckyDucky - You will be happy again, but you will not see the world as before.  You will have a new perspective by which you view life and it will be BETTER!

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Days 26 and 27 - confirmed!

Getting very close to fatherhood. Our expected due date is tomorrow, so I guess that really means "any minute." Very excited and nervous! Thanks for all the support - I really enjoy logging on and seeing what has been posted. I'm so close to the 30 days and thereafter look forward to 60 and onward!

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Hello Everyone

Well I went to my first Hiking Therapy session today. I know hiking therapy sounds odd to some but here in L.A. It's not! It was close to 90 today so hiking all year round is common here. He is a Life Coach psychologist with a specialty in Addiction. Anyways it was so much better than I thought it was going to be. His focus is on the overall health of the person. He's direct no B.S. And gave me a lot of insight. The one thing I have to get is a support system that I can reach when I am triggered. I told him about I only have one right now my faceless website/forum... Lolol so do be surprised by my random vents! I am going to work on getting some here although that will hard since I am not fond of AA or NA. I wish I could share everything he shared but it would be a 10 page post. Thank you I feel because of all of you I am finally headed in the right direction. I cannot wait to encourage others someday

On here:)))

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I cannot wait to encourage others someday

On here:)))

You just encouraged me!
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