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" THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE RELOADED" WELCOME ALL!!


Freedom's Wings

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I am on day 16 today! It's been a wild ride. I'm sorry I haven't been posting a lot, but I am exhausted at the end of the day. I haven't even checked emails for 3 days.

In good news....I came across 5 - 15mg Addy IR pills yesterday that weren't mine...AND I DIDN'T TAKE THEM - it's the first time in my life that I have stumbled on my "doc" and was able to stay away.

I did it!

It wasn't easy...I wrote out a long cost/benefit analysis and had a mild panic attack, but in the end....I did it!

After the craving passed, I was laying on the couch eating chocolate and feeling so proud and powerful!

The feeling of facing Adderall and choosing not to take it is much more pleasurable and longer lasting than partaking in any intoxicating substance!

Woohoo me!

I hope you are all doing well!

Will write more later.

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Great job on your finding pills and not taking them. Those kinds of things can sneak up on anyone. You built something by passing this test and I believe you are stronger for it, should it happen again, and it probably will.

 

Congratulations on Day 16!!!

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GDT!  WHOOP WHOOP!  Congratulations!  That is an amazing victory!!!  I have never come across Adderall again since I quit and I am so proud of you.  That is powerful stuff only 16 days in!  I'm very excited for you.  :)

 

Why did you almost have a panic attack?

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Thank you, very much Jon & LilTex!

As for the panic attack...

I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety since I quit the Adderall.

I'm also all fidgety, but have zero mental energy. It's weird.

(side note: I bought some cool ADHD toys to keep my hands busy, which also helped distract me during the super craving time. Just seeing the Adderall and knowing that it was in my kitchen freaked me out completely. I felt like it was going to sneak into my bedroom and disguise itself as a gummy bear or chocolate and that I would accidentally eat it...

Weird, but true.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Day 28, and no adderall for me. :) I wish I could say that I am doing great, right now, but I am so frustrated!

 

I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I know that this will pass, but I hate feeling like this worthless slug.

 

My boyfriend tries to be helpful and is very understanding, but I feel so awful for just laying here doing nothing.

 

I haven't showered in 2 days. My apt is dirty. My fridge is empty. I have zero interest in doing anything....  I need to get up and shower and go to the store, but I can't seem to get the energy to drag myself out of bed.

 

I have some good days, but the bad days feel really bad.

 

I hope everyone else out there is doing better than I am.

 

UGH!

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Deep breath and realize that this will pass, you are doing great and have almost completed the 30 day challenge! Keep your expectations low for a while longer it is okay that you are letting things slide right now. You are getting your mental house in order and that needs to take priority over your literal household. We are all proud of you for your great progress.

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Awe. Shucks. :blush:  Thank you, very much, JustinW. 

 

It is so powerful to hear that you (and others) are proud of me!

 

Seriously, a little encouragement and positive support, goes such a long way for my mental well being at this early stage.

 

This is the only place that I feel truly heard and understood, right now.

 

Thanks again, you're a good man, Charlie Brown. :P

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Awesome job you two! 

 

GDTRFB, I second what Justin said.  Just know that you have take a gigantic step forward in improving your long term future and do not get down on yourself for ANYTHING right now.  Everyday you don't take Adderall is a HUGE VICTORY. 

 

So proud of both of you!!!

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Hey Kids! I thought I'd stop by here to say farewell to the 30 day challenge! I am moving on to the 60 day challenge!

Today, is my 30th day without BADderall. I did it! Woohoo, me! :)

Thank you, JustinW & LILTEX! I am really trying to be "okay" with my sluggish self, right now.

It is so nice to have a community of people who support me, and believe that I am making progress everyday; even if my apt. isn't clean and the laundry is piling up, etc.

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Welcome, Zoog1212!

Congrats on your first 2 days! I know you can do this.

Go easy on yourself, and know that you have found a wonderful community of people who will understand and support you through this challenging and amazing time in your life!

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Thanks, quit-once!

@ zoog1212 - I totally agree that being able to go to work on day 2, is something to be very proud of, indeed.

My life is completely unstructured right now (unemployed - moved to San Fran) which allows me plenty of time to do a whole lot of nothing. However, it's not as great as some might imagine...

I wish that I had a job here, so that I would have a reason to push myself to get out of bed, friends, structure, a feeling of normalcy, etc.

Good luck on day 3!

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