SweetCarolinee

I need help with motivating myself with work without Adderall please, any tips besides coffee?

41 posts in this topic

im about 7 months too Robin. Motivation and Focus are still something I struggle with too.  I know its improving and I'm getting better. Bu I am no where near my pre-adderall productivity levels.   Somedays I feel a lot better, and somedays not so much. The PAWS days are less extreme. I think all you can do is focus on self care food,water,exercise, sleep etc and eventually you will be better than ever.   

 

The process of recovery is so much more than just quitting pills, its about finding peace with yourself and dealing with the reasons you abused pills in the first place. 

Whoa, Z!!!  Your last sentence is a real mind blaster....the reasons we abused in the first place?  Why indeed? Care to start a thread on that idea?

 

I needed to escape my new horrible job and even more so the horrible commute. The precipitating event was getting bit by a deer tick and getting the bull's eye rash. The stars were all alligned for me to get hooked on Adderall or something worse.

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Whoa, Z!!!  Your last sentence is a real mind blaster....the reasons we abused in the first place?  Why indeed? Care to start a thread on that idea?

 

I needed to escape my new horrible job and even more so the horrible commute. The precipitating event was getting bit by a deer tick and getting the bull's eye rash. The stars were all alligned for me to get hooked on Adderall or something worse.

 

I started using Adderall & Concerta because I wanted to be superman.  Looking back on it I was an overly-competitive jerk who lived for the approval of others and allowed people to walk all over me. I was a workaholic looking for a way to super overachieve. As it turns out being a overachieving know it all , just annoyed everyone.   

 

  In a weird way I'm glad I abused adderall. Over the last 7 months of recovery I've really grown as a person. I understand how depression and anxiety effect me and understand how to change my state.  To quote @Cassie "There is meaning in the struggle"  .   

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GOSH!!!! THANK YOU guys soooo much!!!!! EVERYTHING each of you said made so much sense and gave me a new way to look at how I am feeling and what I am going through. I started to delete my post yesterday because I felt so silly and I hate complaining especially when I know that my situation could be so much worse. And really oh my gosh not that I would wish this on my worst enemy - but for the first 6 months I was I alone (I had my husband and my 2 sons that were being supportive) but NO ONE that REALLY UNDERSTOOD EXACTLY what I was feeling or thinking. And from the day I found this site I just can't believe it. EVERYONE is so nice, so helpful and supportive. It is truly a Godsent. Today I think I am in a better place thanks to you guys, I am still crying like a baby. But today instead of crying out of frustration I am crying because I don't know, just because I am not alone anymore. Also I do have depression. And my husband, who is a physician, but not a psychiatrist. Has been telling me I need to call my psychiatrist, the same one that I got adderall from, but I did confess to him that I was abusing it and had also found other ways to access it as well. I was so scared to tell him I had not been truthful, he is such a good doctor and so nice, I was afraid he would not see me anymore and we go way back. And I would NEVER feel comfortable seeing ANYONE else therefore my depression and anxiety would not be treated. So I didn't know if I should tell him- then my son was like mom he is a PSYCHIATRIST I promise you this is not the "craziest" thing he has ever heard and he was right. wow I really lost my train of thought there and forget where I was going sorry.... Oh calling my doctor today because he thinks I am having a major depressive episode. Because I had been doing a little better I think.

Anyway again I can not thank you guys enough and do feel guilty because I am not being very supportive to any of you right now... But I promise if I can just over this whatever the hell is wrong with me lately I will.

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Depression is worst mind fuck in the world. I go in and out of my personal dark places and can't see clearly for shit. You don't have to apologize for anything. Vent as much as you can, it might be the one thing that makes you see clearer. It's beyond unfortunate that adderall isn't just available through doctors. It makes it 100x harder when the option is always there. I think the key element after coming out of your depressive episode is to come to grips that the devil will always be around but you have to know your reasons for abusing, learn how addiction works, ask for help when you need it{even if it's hanging out with some friends eating ice cream watching tv}. I have practically begged to be in other people's company because I was afraid of being isolated and knowing myself I would resort to the devil pills or just dwell in a negative mental space. I have found that distraction and not being isolated is a big help for me, but it's also something I need to address in counseling. Why do I am I not okay being alone? What feelings make me want to numb myself?  My financial crisis is what currently takes me to a bad mental place mentally in addition to being lonely for the first time in a long time. I've truly learned more of my personal issues and what has to be addressed from this forum than I have in ages of counseling..go figure. Im not at all bashing counseling for people, just making a point to use this forum as a tool to be honest with yourself. We're here to listen, give advice, share experience etc. Empty your box of demons and refill it with sobriety tools and things that might help you grow stronger. I have tons of my plate and not remotely close to being like the "wise elders" here...so i have to keep coming back. Just thought i would put that out there.

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Seven or eight months is still early in recovery! During my first year, for motivation I relied very heavily on the adrenaline rush you get from waiting until the last minute to accomplish anything. Only now (about 13 months post quit) am I starting to actually try and be more productive day-to-day. Speaking of which, just tried the Pomodoro technique yesterday for the first time and it worked really well! Thanks for suggesting that.

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And now I'm looking for a Pomodoro application to use

 

*edit* found a Windows 7 gadget and installed it...sweet!

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Pomodoro is a technique you can read about it here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pomodoro_Technique there are tons of apps available. Or you can just use an egg timer  I use a few different ones. My favorite for iphone is Focus Time on iPad I use Concentrate.     

 

  Another thing I use is on my computer is Say The Time every fifteen minutes my computers audio tells me what time it is. I find it a good reminder to stay in the moment or get back on track.

 

Recently I blocked a ton of websites I waste time on my router. Now I have to go to Starbucks to use facebook etc. This may seem extreme but I work from home and found myself procrastinating alot.   

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Thanks so much zerokewl! I need to get on this asap.

I recently got the Lion's mane capsules and I took 2 for the first time yesterday and I think they helped a bit. I was more productive than I have been and I cleaned/organized my small studio/work station, which felt good and the first time I cleaned anything besides dishes since quitting.

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I still felt pretty shitty at 7 months. After 18 months i saw noticable improvement. It might help to think of the first year as 'early recovery.' Just get used to functioning without a pill. In year 2 you can deal with motivation and techniques for productivity and crap like that. The lower your expectations, the less frustrating recovery will be. I expected to have no physical energy for a year, so when i did have some physical energy i was like 'hell yeah, progress!'

15 years, yikes. You may need to give it a few years at least. Not trying to scare you, just being realistic. You have some serious dues to pay. It gets easier as time goes on and you adjust to sober life. And you will adjust and adapt, such is evolution. Think of it as learning to have faith. There's meaning in the struggle.

Cassie,

 

Your post is appreciated and it makes me want to go back to bed for a couple of years, until all of the lashings have been administered.

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This post has been most helpful, now i'm off to read up on the Pomodoro Technique. I also just downloaded the say the time app, sounds like a great way to help me to stay in the moment, which since addy I have a horrible time doing. Thanks again gang :D  :ph34r:

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Thanks so much zerokewl! I need to get on this asap.

I recently got the Lion's mane capsules and I took 2 for the first time yesterday and I think they helped a bit. I was more productive than I have been and I cleaned/organized my small studio/work station, which felt good and the first time I cleaned anything besides dishes since quitting.

I didn't discover the lions mane until almost two years after I quit.  I have taken it for the last 10 months almost daily, except during my cleansing times.  A combo that works really well for me to get motivated and get shit done:  1,000 mg lions mane + 500 mg L-tyrosine + Red Bull.  Almost like Adderall without the guilt or the crash.

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About how long does the combo last for you in the motivation department, Quit? 

Generally about two hours, although if I slam another (sugarfree) red bull or have green tea it can last most of the evening.

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