ItsEasyRight?

MY STORY -- It's hard not to rely, on the best thing you've ever tasted

4 posts in this topic

It sounds like you aren't being 100% honest with yourself and that you love getting high more than you love your boyfriend.  You say you want to change but your actions show that you don't.  You have a great man and if you REALLY want to quit and get his support (which he will so obviously give) then make your plan to quit with him involved and notify your doctor not to prescribe you any more of this stuff.  You may do well to give him a certain amount of control to help you get through the first little bit too.  Welcome to the forum!

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It sounds like, you may want to figure out who YOU are and what YOU want out of life without your boyfriend.

He sounds like a nice guy, and you don't sound like you are ready for a committed relationship right now.

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Sounds like you already know..... You're a big girl, you know how this ends for either scenario.

You'll choose. And when you choose to finally quit, you'll make the call/appt with both doctors and come clean. You'll maybe even call your pharmacy and let them know you're addicted and abusing adderall. And your supply will stop. And you'll be free.

Or you'll choose to keep digging new depths to your rock bottom.

Digging sucks. Aren't you tired? I fucking am. I made the call last week. It sucked. I felt embarrassed and proud at the same time. I will say its one of the weirdest fucking emotional states I've had. But it was weird in a good painful way. Weird, right?

Good luck to you. Never give up. You sound strong. You've got fight in you. Adderall makes you think you're strong. It makes you feel in control. It makes you feel skinny and beautiful. It's a fucking lie. We look like meth heads. We smoke too much and eat like shit. We think life is fine and our friends are suddenly dumb or jealous- yeah, okay. No, nope & umm, not jealous of our obvious speed problem.

Write here and let us know how it's going for you. I really hope you get what you need.

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