formydaughter Posted May 2, 2014 Report Share Posted May 2, 2014 im watching adderall take everything in my life that i love away from me!!!! My husband is on the urge of leaving me and about to take my daughter, who i love more than life itself away from me. He has been trying to help me for over a year and my devotion to the pill is out weighing my devotion to him and my daughter. I AM SCARED!!!! I HAVE A WAY OF ALWAYS FUCKING THINGS UP FOR MYSELF!!! Did anyone ever here of going to rehab for adderall addiction? I'm sooooo tired but i cant sleep. Every breath i breathe and every step i take is for my daughter. I love the way adderall makes me feel. i dont feel normal without it. It gives me such an enphoric feeling. It takes the depression away. It gives me so much energy and motivation. It makes everything fun. How am I going to live without adderall? Why do i haveto giver something up that makes me feel so happy and good? Im pist................. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Zerokewl Posted May 2, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted May 2, 2014 Welcome to the board. Adderall has a way of making everything look worse than it actually is. Adderall is a dirty liar, it doesn't take the depression away it creates it. So you have to keep taking pills to make it go away. The energy, motivation and fun are all part of the lie. Sure somethings are fun on Adderall like excel, and reorganizing your sock drawers. But off adderall lots of things are fun like spring days spent with friends & family. Take some time read the articles on this site. You can get free maybe rehab is an option. Your recovery path is entirely up to you. We are here to support and be supported. I hope you get some sleep and some peace. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Shambo Posted May 2, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted May 2, 2014 If your husband & daughter are about to leave you, of course you have to quit, right? Like zerocewl said, read through this forum. There's so many things you can get information from. If rehab is an option, go. Because if your daughter is everything to you, then you know your addiction to adderall must be addressed. Right now adderall is your everything. You're not a better mom on adderall. You're a wired out spaz who is giving off wild, tense energy. Kids may not be able to voice what is going on with you, but don't mistake that with not knowing you're very different. And not in a good way. Adderall is a lie. Good luck to you. I feel your pain.... 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post hyper_critical Posted May 2, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted May 2, 2014 I couldn't imagine life without Adderall. I went to rehab. It saved my life. Adderall, when you're addicted, is as bad as any drug out there. Don't know where you're located, but I had a great experience at Seabrook House in New Jersey. I've seen success stories out of Caron and Father Martins Ashley. All the best 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post quit-once Posted May 3, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted May 3, 2014 If your husband & daughter are about to leave you, of course you have to quit, right? True, but if you are quitting for your daughter or your husband it won't work. You have to quit for yourself for your own reasons. That might sound selfish, but unless you can forsake everything about Adderall for a better future for yourself, the Quit will never stick. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian05 Posted May 3, 2014 Report Share Posted May 3, 2014 the better future for herself is a future with her husband and daughter. all due respect, quit-once, sometimes you come off as a little abrasive. more often than not, people are nothing without their families. if she is quitting for her family, she is in effect, quitting for herself. your message, while i'm sure was in good spirit, can come off as confusing and discomforting. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted May 3, 2014 Report Share Posted May 3, 2014 I agree with quit once. Quitting for others doesn't work because YOU have to decide you have a problem and YOU have to want to do whatever it takes to stay sober, regardless of other people's opinions. It sounds selfish because addicts are selfish. They need to envision themselves as better people sober in order to endure the hard road it takes to get there. I tried to quit for my husband and two months later I was back on the pills. Until I was ready to quit for myself it wasn't happening. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shambo Posted May 4, 2014 Report Share Posted May 4, 2014 I was meaning that a bit sarcastically- because she mentioned several times how her daughter was most important to her.... I haven't had a quit stick. I've done it for all the usual reasons- husband, kids, shame, etc. This time the seed was planted when my husband & I were Ineligable to attend a marriage retreat/intensive because I had an ongoing addiction. Our marriage has taken some huge hits over the last 4 years and I knew in my gut that we were on the verge of destroying it all. I knew we had to go to this retreat. I felt guilty and sad that I was what was keeping us from moving forward. So it seems like I quit for our marriage. I'm sure if I dug a bit deeper I'd find obvious self driven motivations. I do see my marriage as a facet of self preservation though. I may be reaching here.... But it's what I thought when I read through this thread. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post LILTEX41 Posted May 4, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted May 4, 2014 Formydaughter, This post is getting a little crazy. Ok, so let' just all agree that quitting Adderall is extremely hard. Everyone has their own story of why/how/reasons they quit. Why person A was able to quit vs. per B really doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that anyone who does a google search for, "Quitting Adderall" comes upon this site and is more than likely struggling because for some reason or another Adderall is not working in their life anymore. From everything you are saying, it sounds like you don't want to quit, but know you have to or you will lose your daughter. That sounds like a good enough reason to me. In fact, if it were me, that might be the only reason I needed to quit for good. Personally, I have a LOT of consequences of what happened when I was stuck in my addiction to Adderall and I review that list frequently whenever I want to drink/use. I am clean/sober now from all drugs/alcohol. But another thing on my list that weighs on my heavily is the guilt and shame I would feel for doing that to my family. I know they would be worried sick and scared to death. I know I have put them through so much during my years of being an addict and I know what it felt like the times when I relapsed and tried to hide it from them. The guilt and shame used to eat me alive. I never want to go back to that place. It is so nice to be able to hold my head high today and feel proud of myself and know that part of it is for me and part of it is for them. But again, this is just my own personal story. I'm sure for others it may be different. Make a list of all the reasons you want to quit. List all the advantages/disadvantages of quitting. Then make another list of all the advantages/disadvantages of taking it. This will tell you what you are up against and what you can expect. It will help you put the ball in your court to decide if this is a decision you want to make. All I can tell you is that CHANGE IS POSSIBLE. Don't lose hope. I never thought I could quit either. I thought I would die being an Adderall addict and the thought of quitting had me reduced to tears again and again. I'll have 3.6 years May 12th. If I can do it, anyone can. Keep fighting for your daughter. This will be the best gift you can ever give her in life. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
formydaughter Posted May 4, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 4, 2014 To LILTEX41,Thank you for giving me the best piece of advice anyone has giving me regards to this topic. That was quitting adderall will be the best gift I can ever give my daughther in her life. I also agree with you that the reason why im quitting adderall or for who is irrelevant to the fact that Iam quitting adderall!!! You have been helpful. Thank You, FOR MY DAUGHTER 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post SweetCarolinee Posted May 4, 2014 Popular Post Report Share Posted May 4, 2014 GUYS --No need for name calling here, let's all take a step back and chill. This community is here for support and to help each other, not to tear each other down and be haters. This is probably just a misunderstanding and Amy most likely didn't mean to upset you.NOTE TO EVERYONE: We are all different here with different backgrounds, upbringings, experiences, options, thoughts, feelings etc. and it is okay to degree and disagree. We all bring something new and different and valuable to the table here. And since we are on the internet, sometimes we can't tell if someone is being serious or joking and we can mistakenly misunderstand, misread or misinterpret what someone is explaining or expressing. So if we misunderstand something or disagree on something, that's fine, that is totally okay, that is LIFE but let's just all keep it nice and not be rude to one another. Life is already full of too much hate and negatively.I happen to agree with Quit-once and Cassie. In my personal experience in quitting, I truly quit the time I did it FOR myself. I realized - time to grow the fuck up and take accountability and make no more excuses because I wanted to not be a boozer and depressed all the time and addicted to a pill anymore. After 7 years, I finally came to the realization that I don't need a stupid devil pill to control my life and I haven't looked back since. I have tried in the past to quit for my boyfriend and for my family and friends and it never worked and I would sneak the pills anyways and try to act like I didn't take them… So messed up.Formydaughter, we are here to help and support you! Also you become an "advanced member" once you post a certain amount of posts (I believe but I could be wrong). How you are feeling now is only temporary and those feelings will pass. Well, maybe not if you stay on Adderall. In my experience, it poisons you and your mind with negatively/negative thoughts and makes you not in touch with reality. You are currently under the spell and poison of Adderall. It really does put a spell on you and makes you dependent on it. It sucks. But the good news is YOU hold the power to get control of your life and take your life, as well as yourself, your mind and personality, body, daughter and husband back. Your just going to really have to work for it. It does give you "…so much energy and motivation" but so does coffee and B12 and 5 hour energy -- without all the shitty side efforts. Depending how long you have been on it, the bad starts to outweigh the good, I promise you that. There is hope. This site is what gave me the power to finally quit for good and it can do the same for you, my friend! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyper_critical Posted May 4, 2014 Report Share Posted May 4, 2014 + ∞ 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetCarolinee Posted May 4, 2014 Report Share Posted May 4, 2014 Yesssss!!!! @hyper_critical, that song never gets old If I ever wanna be mean, I just listen to that song haha 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted May 4, 2014 Report Share Posted May 4, 2014 well said GUYS --No need for name calling here, let's all take a step back and chill. This community is here for support and to help each other, not to tear each other down and be haters. This is probably just a misunderstanding and Amy most likely didn't mean to upset you.NOTE TO EVERYONE: We are all different here with different backgrounds, upbringings, experiences, options, thoughts, feelings etc. and it is okay to degree and disagree. We all bring something new and different and valuable to the table here. And since we are on the internet, sometimes we can't tell if someone is being serious or joking and we can mistakenly misunderstand, misread or misinterpret what someone is explaining or expressing. So if we misunderstand something or disagree on something, that's fine, that is totally okay, that is LIFE but let's just all keep it nice and not be rude to one another. Life is already full of too much hate and negatively.I happen to agree with Quit-once and Cassie. In my personal experience in quitting, I truly quit the time I did it FOR myself. I realized - time to grow the fuck up and take accountability and make no more excuses because I wanted to not be a boozer and depressed all the time and addicted to a pill anymore. After 7 years, I finally came to the realization that I don't need a stupid devil pill to control my life and I haven't looked back since. I have tried in the past to quit for my boyfriend and for my family and friends and it never worked and I would sneak the pills anyways and try to act like I didn't take them… So messed up.Formydaughter, we are here to help and support you! Also you become an "advanced member" once you post a certain amount of posts (I believe but I could be wrong). How you are feeling now is only temporary and those feelings will pass. Well, maybe not if you stay on Adderall. In my experience, it poisons you and your mind with negatively/negative thoughts and makes you not in touch with reality. You are currently under the spell and poison of Adderall. It really does put a spell on you and makes you dependent on it. It sucks. But the good news is YOU hold the power to get control of your life and take your life, as well as yourself, your mind and personality, body, daughter and husband back. Your just going to really have to work for it. It does give you "…so much energy and motivation" but so does coffee and B12 and 5 hour energy -- without all the shitty side efforts. Depending how long you have been on it, the bad starts to outweigh the good, I promise you that. There is hope. This site is what gave me the power to finally quit for good and it can do the same for you, my friend! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian05 Posted May 5, 2014 Report Share Posted May 5, 2014 If someone has a driven motivation to quit by virtue of the love for their family, they shouldnt be told that that is not the right way to quit or that it wont work. Im sorry, that is simply flawed reason and logic and deleterious to progress. That's her rock bottom. She doesnt want to lose it all. If that is what is lighting the fire under her to quit, then wonderdul! And if u read liltex's response above, it is in line with what im saying. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted May 5, 2014 Report Share Posted May 5, 2014 The guy in the Smart Video said it well. "I hit rock bottom when I put the shovel down and stop digging." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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