Searchingsoul9

There IS Life After Adderall

19 posts in this topic

Hey everyone. I found myself really missing this site tonight. 

I have been clean from adderall for almost one year. 

 

It seems like it has been so much longer than that. It honestly feels like a lifetime ago that i was shoveling pill after pill down my throat.

Although i do not miss the adderall (except on occasion when i wish to feel that euphoria and focus that it fleetingly brought) i do miss the love and support i received from this community.

 

I honestly do not think i would have gotten off the pills if not for this site.

My method was probably not the wisest one. I quit. Cold turkey. And vowed never to allow my mind to wander into adderall land. 

I finally feel safe enough, a year later to actually think about what i was doing and why.

I wouldn't even let myself look at pictures of me while i was on adderall...for fear it would trigger a memory and a desire to use again.

I am not sure why i am posting, except to say thank you to everyone. And also, i would love to be of any help to anyone currently struggling with this awful addiction.

I am no expert, just a girl who went through the hell you may be living in now.

Would love to lend a hand and help spark even the tiniest flame of hope inside you.

I NEVER thought i would quit. And if i did it, each and every one of you can and will do it too.

 

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SUPER proud of you!! I remember worrying if you would ever quit, because you kept posting while still taking adderall, and now to hear you are nearly 1 year Clean is fantastic news!! High five searchingsoul!

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Thanks so much for sharing this.  I am one of those newbies you are hoping to spark hope in.  Objective achieved. :)

 

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SUPER proud of you!! I remember worrying if you would ever quit, because you kept posting while still taking adderall, and now to hear you are nearly 1 year Clean is fantastic news!! High five searchingsoul!

Thank you so much! I feel like a completely different person. Still struggling with some pot usage, but it's getting easier to be completely sober each day. How are you??

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Thanks so much for sharing this.  I am one of those newbies you are hoping to spark hope in.  Objective achieved. :)

That makes me so happy! Each day is a battle, but i promise it gets easier and easier.

xo

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I am delighted to hear from you again, SearchingSoul!  So proud of you for the successful Quit.  You struggled with this addiction for a long while, and I remember your journey while you were sharing your daily challenges with us.  Thanks for the update and a big Congratulations for a year free from Adderall and all the positive changes that brings.

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I am delighted to hear from you again, SearchingSoul!  So proud of you for the successful Quit.  You struggled with this addiction for a long while, and I remember your journey while you were sharing your daily challenges with us.  Thanks for the update and a big Congratulations for a year free from Adderall and all the positive changes that brings.

Thank you for your support! You and everyone else on here, i couldn't have done this alone

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Hey SearchingSoul,

 

I'm so, so proud of you for one year!    Congrats and thank you for posting this! 

 

We used to message each other on here in the early days, and I can honestly say that I have YOU in particular on my short list of people to thank for the fact that I am clean from adderall today.    

 

It's really amazing what we can do with a little support from people who understand.

 

All those cravings and the horrible withdrawals we went through were SO worth it.  If anyone out there is reading this, life on the other side is unimaginably much brighter, fuller, more beautiful.  If you're going through your acute withdrawal phase, KEEP GOING.  You are healing and turning back means going through it all AGAIN.

 

Anyway congrats again on one year!!!  You are an inspiration to so many people, probably more than you can even imagine.  :D

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Do you have any advice on avoiding it? Like how do you keep yourself from it when all you want is to have it? I know that is a very broad question, but do you recall anything specific that helped you?

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I am only 8 months clean, not yet a year, but I would like to share my advice. 

 

Cut off your supply (supplier) and tell people in your life that you have a problem and are quitting.  I found that a lot of people in my life didn't think I had a problem because it was a prescription which I did not abuse.  It was hard to convince some people...but, my family was like "yeah, we knew something was wrong".  They didn't want to say anything because I was so unpredictable.  My mood could change drastically and I didn't make a lot of sense when I was angry. 

 

Being very involved on this site has helped me immensely!  Reading peoples posts lets you know you are not alone.  We are all so similar.  Kindred Spirits! 

 

Welcome to the site and good luck. 

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Thank you for your response! I'm only 6 days clean after a poor judgement call so I think 8 months is awesome :) I tried cutting myself off and telling people but apparently I'm really resourceful -_- So I told the second round of people as well. Hopefully this time around I've made it more difficult for myself haha.

 

I feel ya on the unpredictable. My big issue now is people in my life know but I'm so depressed I cut them off as well as I don't really think they understand fully. So if I take it I'm either an awful liar or it's no big deal tsk tsk slap on the wrist and everyone goes on about their business. It's comforting to an extent to hear that people didn't think you had a problem either although that sounds awful, I hope you know what I mean.

 

I've never posted on forums or anything of that nature before (and especially not about drugs :o) but I recognize support and even just knowing other people have done it might be what I need to get to 8 months one day. So, again, thank you for your advice.

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Hang in there.  It does get better.  I think when your mind is altered for a long time, you forget who you are.  So do the people around you.  The "you" on Adderall becomes who everyone sees, so it is the norm to them.  Some people don't notice the bad until the Adderall is gone and then they notice it is better.  Don't go back, you can do this!  Make it hard for you to get back on it.  Do you have a prescription?  Or are you getting it from another source?  Either way, you have to cut off the "pusher".  Tell your doctor you are quitting, or cut off contact with your supplier.  Delete phone numbers from your phone.  If you are like me, you won't remember the number once it is out of your contacts list.  I could Google my doctor's number, but I won't do it. 

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No prescription (and I was spending rent money carelessly unfortunately) and I am still in college (go figure, wonder why it's taking me 1,000 years) so I have/had a lot of friends I could get it from. But I think I finally told everyone who needed to know or made it obvious I didn't want it, not that they couldn't tell why, and deleted numbers. I even deleted numbers of people that knew they numbers of the people I got it from <heavy sigh>  But yeah. I really really appreciate the response. I'm gonna pour some coffee down my throat now and try and study for my first test ever without adderall...oh lawd. Fingers crossed I don't feel the need to drop out of college again because I really want it so bad.

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Hey SearchingSoul,

 

I'm so, so proud of you for one year!    Congrats and thank you for posting this! 

 

We used to message each other on here in the early days, and I can honestly say that I have YOU in particular on my short list of people to thank for the fact that I am clean from adderall today.    

 

It's really amazing what we can do with a little support from people who understand.

 

All those cravings and the horrible withdrawals we went through were SO worth it.  If anyone out there is reading this, life on the other side is unimaginably much brighter, fuller, more beautiful.  If you're going through your acute withdrawal phase, KEEP GOING.  You are healing and turning back means going through it all AGAIN.

 

Anyway congrats again on one year!!!  You are an inspiration to so many people, probably more than you can even imagine.   :D

Thank you so much! 

& same to you, i could not have done it without our frequent messages and updates.

You helped me through so much-i honestly did not think i'd ever get clean

xox

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Do you have any advice on avoiding it? Like how do you keep yourself from it when all you want is to have it? I know that is a very broad question, but do you recall anything specific that helped you?

Avoiding adderall?

Well lucky for me i cut of my psychiatrist. I did not have street availability to it.

The only drug dealers i know sell coke, other pills, weed.

And for the most part i avoided even asking anyone if they sold adderall because i was so used to the steady supply of a skript.

Drug dealers are A.Sketchy & B.Unreliable

When i was abusing adderall i needed it when i needed it and a drug dealer was not an option.

 

Exercise really also did help keep me from finding a new psychiatrist to prescribe.

It sounds cliche, but it's true.

Sleeping helped, watching funny movies or shows on netflix, and i don't want to promote smoking weed, but that helped me too-in moderation is best obviously.

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Thank you very much for your advice, guys. Weed did help, but ironically, all my friends are only selling adderall at the moment as opposed to mj. It's actually kind of funny. Glad to hear I'm not the only one who thought it was helpful though. Also, I feel you on the cheetos XD

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