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OMGEEE, OMGEEE, OMGEEEE!!!


frogginfedup

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Hi everyone! I'm a mess even thinking about my inevitable journey. The truth is, I have been using adderall for the better part of 12 years. I was "blessed" with twins 4 years ago at the age of 37, I am now a 41year old, stressed out, very dependent, basic adderall junkie, WHO WANTS MORE THAN TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING THINKING THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY IS TO POP THAT ADDERALL TO GET GOING! (And also, pray that the twins don't wake up until after the Adderall kicks in and I've had my coffee!)

Dear God! I cried like a baby when I read the introduction to this group and realized, THIS is the place I need to be! I'm lost, despondent, passionless, robotic, irritable, miserable, worthless, and basically, disgusted with myself!

So, here I am, scared to death because I know I have to keep going regardless of how I feel. I have people that depend on me! The question is, will I make it? Can I do this? It is worth EVERYTHING to me so the question is rhetorical. I'm simply in that space right now where, I suppose encouragement is my most valuable asset! I appreciate any and all who chime in to support my venture.

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I'm also slightly freaked out about the supplementation of my diet. It's all very confusing right now!! How am I going to be able to focus on a proper diet when, as my reality right now dictates, grab what you can to eat, or don't eat at all! I failed to mention, the sire of the twins got lost at 6 months into the pregnancy! Haven't heard from that dude since! Demanding little people don't make anything come simply in this life I lead. I am so nervous, yet so determined to do this. I am looking forward to the end result, but not the intermittent turmoil! Maybe I'm giving the detoxification period too much power in my mind!?! Perhaps it won't be as bad as the one time I actually DID go for a month without Adderall, but the effects were far too absorbing and I ended up back on the crazy Adderall train. Geez, I think too much. That's all I do anymore; Think, not act, just allow my mind to take control and lose my ability to even move. Petrified. Without incidence, stone cold, stark raving, petrified!!!

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Thanks y'all! Votes of confidence are the best! I, A-hmm, have a few 30's left and in order to not go all "Susan Smith"have opted to break them down into quarters. Perhaps I'm just prolonging the agony but, as ZeroKewl states: "Progress, not perfection!" That makes me feel a little better.

<3

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You have to give up the idea of perfection. It is the hardest part.  My kids are so much happier now than when I was on Adderall.  They know that I quit and it was hard at first, because I was so tired.  Now, I am actually "there" for them.  You know?  Quit, and you will see.  You can be a better mother than you even imagined!  No one needs to eat off of a kitchen floor, right? 

 

Welcome!!!

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:D

Two weeks y'all! And NOT EVEN COUNTING!! Praise God! Because, when I say I'm going to do something, boom! There it is, I'm gonna do it!

I have muddled, suffered, kicked and screamed for a minute, but I feel my life force coming back! Thanks in part to a positive attitude, L-Tyrosine from the GNC store and lots of healthy, fresh, organic fruits, vegetables, and freshly extracted juices from my new badass juicer!!

YEAH! I FEEL LIKE SUPERMOMMY AGAIN! Well, almost, but, I intend to fake it til I make it!

I DID have one weekend (the twins Bday) where I was so busy, I stopped at a McDonalds and scarfed down some chicken nuggets, fries, and a mocha frappe, followed that the next day with some Pizza Hut for the party. UGH! Heads up on the saturated fats and processed foods NOT helping the venture! I WILL NEVER EVER GO TO MCDONALDS AGAIN! I instantly began developing a migraine as soon as the crap began to make it's way into my digestive system.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have 2 children. They deserve a naturally attentive mother. What kind of mom would you be without the meds? Mean mom? Cool mom? Strict mom? Granola mom? Would you REALLY sani-wipe every damn item you helicopter mom?

No. You are a robot. It's easy to get through this. I've been clean for 2 months, and I've got a long way to go. But kids are resilient. Let me know if you want to know how to do this as a mother. I was a 12 year addict. You can do this. I do it for my boys. I can tell you how to do it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm also slightly freaked out about the supplementation of my diet. It's all very confusing right now!! How am I going to be able to focus on a proper diet when, as my reality right now dictates, grab what you can to eat, or don't eat at all! I failed to mention, the sire of the twins got lost at 6 months into the pregnancy! Haven't heard from that dude since! Demanding little people don't make anything come simply in this life I lead. I am so nervous, yet so determined to do this. I am looking forward to the end result, but not the intermittent turmoil! Maybe I'm giving the detoxification period too much power in my mind!?! Perhaps it won't be as bad as the one time I actually DID go for a month without Adderall, but the effects were far too absorbing and I ended up back on the crazy Adderall train. Geez, I think too much. That's all I do anymore; Think, not act, just allow my mind to take control and lose my ability to even move. Petrified. Without incidence, stone cold, stark raving, petrified!!!

 

Hey Froggin, how's it going?

 

Congrats on quitting.  You CAN do this!!!

 

I'm not a mom but when I'm really busy I like to make my healthy foods in bulk in advance. Then you have containers full of healthy foods and snacks to just grab and heat up (or grab from your bag.)   Diet has a pretty huge effect on recovery.  Dopamine comes from food, not adderall. 

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