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Quit Adderall, 6 months clean, problems with alcohol

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Hi, 

I'm starting this thread to share some of my experiences with quitting and running into problems with alcohol, I would love to hear your experiences and/or advice.

I quit adderall cold turkey in March 2015.  I was using mostly as prescribed, my dosage was 5 mg 3 times a day, at times I would take one extra for a total for 20 mg a day. The day I quit I felt no different than when on it, but I began to really feel the difference by the end of the week, I couldnt focus, was jittery, irritable, on edge, couldnt do any writing or reading, this continued for about 2 months.

Around the 2 months mark I began self-medicating with white wine.  I now drink daily, about 2-3 glasses.  I am beginning to realize that alcohol may be a bigger problem than Adderall. 

I have ABSOLUTELY NO desire to ever go back to adderall, but I dont know how to manage without my daily wine intake. 

 

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Sounds like you might want to talk to a counselor about this. I personally don't think that 2-3 glasses of wine is hazardous to begin with, but you know yourself better than I do.

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I don't want to drink as  much as I did when I was on Adderall.  So, I can't relate to that.  However, having been addicted to Adderall, you know best if you are starting to have a problem with wine.  Try just stopping for a week and see how it goes.  you aren't drinking enough to need a detox or anything...just stop.

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When I quit, I went off the deep end with alcohol.  Like, more than you're drinking, on a daily basis.  It was really bad, and it lasted for months.  I called it "partying" and feeling free/single/off the chain at the time, but really it was a substitute addiction.  And where did it lead me?  Deeper into the alcohol rabbit hole. 

 

I eventually learned I was developing a problem with it and needed to learn moderation.  It's something I actively practice now. 

 

If you sense that you're developing a problem with alcohol, there is an old piece of truth: alcoholism is a progressive disease.  If this is becoming an addiction, then those 2-3 glasses easily become 4-5 or a whole bottle.....or two......

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Also, it's important to recognize whether or not moderation is an option.

 

I had many relapses into adderall convincing myself it would be OK as long as I kept it in "moderation", each time spiraling back into psychotic chaos.

 

Sometimes I think I'm the same way with alcohol.  I can't have one beer.  I have to have 3 or more, no matter what my intention was at the start of the night.

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Thank you guys, 

I was thinking a lot about what you said. I am beginning to realize I am indeed "trading seats on the Titanic" as they say in AA. I actually went to few AA meetings over the past couple of days, I am not sure if I am strong enough to moderate with wine yet. 

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I only have problems with alcohol when I drink too much.  Too much = hangover and disruption of my daily life, or getting sick.  I was drinking vodka earlier this year and found myself hungover too often (only a few times but that was still too often).  It was causing depression and self-doubt.  So I switched to light beer.  I have a few hard rules about drinking that I almost never break: no drinking before 3 PM.  no drinking after supper.  always eat supper.  Even following those rules, I still couldn't regulate my vodka dose very well and would drink too much.  What concerns me is the similarity to certain rules I had while using Adderall.  My "addy rules" worked well to keep me a functional addict for over five years because I refused to let it become a daily habit.  Until it did.  I kept my dosage under 120 mg /day, until I didn't.  Once I got my own prescription, it was all over for responsible use.

 

BeHereNow stated the truth when she said alcoholism is a progressive disease.  All addiction is progressive.  But alcohol is a different kind of addiction for me.   Beer is mostly a summer food and I lose my taste for it when the weather cools.  I can just as easily have one beer or three.  I can drink daily, until I get tired of it and not drink for a few days.  What I am trying to say is that for me, alcohol consumption is usually self-limiting because I really HATE the disruption of my sleep patterns and the unproductive nature of the hangover.  Alcohol is a depressant and using it to "treat" depression is like...self defeating.

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The biggest difference between the two substances for me is that I don't drink when I feel bad. I only enjoy drinking when I'm doing it to enhance an already pleasant time time and I'm in a good mood already. Same reason I never got addicted to coke when I did it in my early 20s - I never wanted to do it when I felt bad, only to enhance a good time. Adderall on the other hand.. I wanted it when I felt good, bad, and every mood in between - but especially when I felt bad. So, if you start turning to a substance when you feel bad, that is the road to addiction in my opinion.

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