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Starting to get depressed...


Bubbagump99

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This TOO shall pass.  Just know that whatever happens for this temporary period while you are quitting is TEMPORARY.  It will NOT last forever and it's going to be okay! :)

 

Hang on and don't lose hope!  And start talking words of faith.  Repeat them to yourself until to actually start to believe them.  Stuff like...

 

I am getting better and better everyday

I have a bright exciting future ahead

This pain is temporary

I am coming into the best year of my life ahead

I am strong

I am powerful

I don't need adderall 

I got this

I CAN do this

I fucking rock!  :)

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If I quit cold turkey it's gonna be a hundred times worse. Can't even function. I need to work and get my work done. Actually started feeling better this morning. Felt like it took me a few days to get use to dropping from 30mg to 20, and now it felt like it took the whole 2 weeks to get use to dropping from 20 to 15. Have apt w dr on Tuesday. I have 10mg and 5mg pills at home but gonna see if she can give me 12.5 and 7.5mg pills too. So this way I don't have to go from 15 to 10 to 5. But go 15 to 12.5 to 10 to 7.5 to 5 etc

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You're funny.  I wish I could tell you what to do, but I can't.  I can tell you what I did though.  I took those pills and I threw them in the dumpster.  And then when I got out of detox I called my doctor and told them, "Don't ever prescribe those pills to me again. I am addicted and I've been to the ER twice because of them."

 

Once all of that was completed I felt a relief.  The weight of the world had been lifted and I was able to stop obsessing about them and start focusing on what I was going to do next in my new life without them.  

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I hear ya. That's why I felt like I needed to tell my doc I wanted to taper because I knew I would try and go back to get more. It is hard this way, but cold turkey was much harder for me. I literally couldn't move when I stopped cold turkey. felt like I was in a coma but was able to talk and move my arms and legs but not get anywhere. Ok, that made no sense lol

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I quit cold turkey and it has been hell. Today I tried to go shopping to pick up a few things at Kohls and it sent me into an anxiety attack. When I got to my car I just cried. Ever since I came home have been so depressed, couldn't even clean up my house. My daughter and son-in-law and family are moving in with us and I couldn't even help them once I came home. It's like I was paralyzed. Can't do anything but sit and feel sorry for myself. That pisses me off worse than anything. This is the part when I turn into a sailor and the air turns blue around me. It's embarrassing but it is what it is. Today is day 6 clean. That is one thing I have to be happy about.

 

Did anyone feel nauseated and have problems eating? I can't seem to finish a meal It's not that I'm afraid I will dry up and blow away because believe me, there's enough to sustain me for a good while. Just curious.

 

OK, this is done! Thanks for listening!

Janie

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Smhjen.. When I started getting into the lower doses like that, I found that I actually felt better if I didn't take any Adderall at all. The low doses like that just made me feel crappy without any positive effects whatsoever. I think that's why we keep pushing cold turkey... because then you could actually start your healing process and skip this misery that you're in right now. It will be hell either way, but this way it's just a longer hell. Is there any possible way you could take some time off work? I know it might sound extreme, but your health comes first and if that's what you have to do to get off this drug, it's worth it. Something to think about anyway. I don't mean to keep pushing cold turkey on you but I hate to see you in more pain than you need to be in.

 

And Janie, I have been extremely nauseous since quitting. It's worse in the morning and middle of the night, but it sticks around all day usually. I don't know what the deal is. I went to the doctor and had some tests done. He thinks it is possibly an ulcer or possibly my gall bladder. I have an ultrasound on my gallbladder in a couple of weeks, so I guess I just have to hang tight until then. I'm not sure if it's even related to the Adderall or if it's just coincidental that I happened to start feeling sick around the same time I quit Adderall. Hope you feel better :) 

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Smhjen,

Please forgive me for stepping in on your post with my issues. Yesterday was one of those brain-fog days and I wasn't thinking. I hope that you are feeling better today. Quitting cold turkey was the best thing for me. I tried weaning but when I got down to 5 mg, I went ahead and quit. It just didn't seem worth the trouble at that point. Today is day 7 since my last pill.  I am bipolar too so it has been a rough ride but I'm proud of getting to this point without hurting myself or anyone else.

 

Hang in there. I have experienced every emotion known to man this week. But the depression has been most prominent. Luckily my psychiatrist tweaked my antidepressants a bit and it has helped but the bottom line is that we just have to get through the day. Our brain is trying to readjust itself to being without the med. Sometimes I don't feel a lot of anxiety but I just feel uneasy if I'm not doing something productive. So I try to stay busy. Plus being on this website helps a lot. Everyone here on this site has been where we are and it is so helpful to know that we are among kindred spirits!

 

Take care!

Janie

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Janie- it's cool, you're fine posting here. It's nice to see and hear other people's stories, since we all can mostly relate. I tried cold turkey and the brain fog was unbearable. Could hardly get up in the morning, work was forget it. I can't 'slack' that much at work and be able to keep my job.

This tapering method although it's hard, is working for me way better than quitting cold turkey. At least I can somewhat function and get through the day. Yeah I'm tired, and depressed, but when I did cold turkey, I felt dead. Don't know how else to explain it.

If I had known it would be like this to quit this drug and what it's done to my life, I would of never taken it 9 years ago :(

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Smhjen,

I totally support you in your quest to quit- no matter how you decide to do it. My meds basically turned on me! My doc says that my body chemistry had changed apparently and the Adderall's side effects like the anxiety, jitteriness, irritability came out full on!! I couldn't figure out what was happening for about 3 months. It was bad not only for me but my family. No one was safe at my house! I loved my Adderall for about 4 years. It worked great and no side effects, well at least none that were so bad that I couldn't take it and enjoy my life. So getting to the point, I had to come off of it. Cold turkey was my only out. Even at 1/4 of a 30 mg tab, I couldn't stand myself. It's been a little over a week and I am still having some residual effects, mostly some depression with anxiety. But it sure as hell beats what was happening with the med in the last few months. Keep us posted on how it's going. Stay with us and hang in there!

Janie

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Hey Janie, yeah, thank you. I actually started feeling better a few days ago. Seems like it took me almost 2 weeks to get 'use' to the 15mg. The last few days I have been happy again and upbeat, and ok. Sure I'm a little tired but that depression went away. Thank god.

I'm going to dr today for her to 'check' on me. I have already have 10mg pills filled but thinking about asking her for 12.5mg.. I think they make those? Lol I just don't want to send my body into a shock again. I also have a feeling she might prescribe me antidepressants but I don't and won't go on those unless I ABSOLUTELY need them. Don't want to go on one drug to get off another.

Guess we shall see.

Glad you're doing ok. It's hard for me, but it's definitely easier to taper than to cold turkey. Guess everyone is different. And I can definitely do this because I want this now, I'm ready.. :)

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So true about the antidepressants, Jen. There have been moments where I thought maybe they would help make this a little easier. But I don't want to be putting more pills into my body. So I will deal with the struggle unless I get to a point where I absolutely can't take it anymore.

 

Glad to hear that you're feeling not as depressed. Some days are definitely easier than others. It's crazy how up and down the quitting process can be. One day you can feel like you're doing so well, and the next day you can be feeling like death again. 

 

Slow and steady. :) You got this. :)

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Yeah, thank you.

My doc yesterday did rec going on antidepressants when I told her how depressed I felt on the 15mgs for those initial two weeks. Told her I didn't really wanna. Told her I didn't wanna start taking a new pill to get off another pill. SMH!

She said that was ok it was my choice. You could tell she was a little concerned bc she didn't want to 'tell me' what to do, but I told her if I came to the point where I couldn't take it and felt like I absolutely needed it- then ok. seemed to sense a sigh of relief in her voice. Starting my 10mgs soon. Probably this weekend. can't believe I'm halfway there already. sigh

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I was already on Cymbalta and Geodon. My doc tweaked my meds a bit and it has made a difference. Of course, I still have some ups and downs. I'm like you guys, I don't want to add anymore meds. if I can keep from it. I'm glad that you're feeling better smhjen. It's all about choices and the fact that you have made the choice to come off of the Adderall is the best choice you could ever make! The depression should get better as time goes.At least your doc has given you the choice of an antidepressant if you decide you want it. I am bipolar so I couldn't take a chance on not making some med changes. It wouldn't have been pretty!

 

Take care!

Janie

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