sobrietysucks

No Desire To Work

5 posts in this topic

I have a hard time accepting that life sucks. I live at home and see my parents work 60+ hours a week just to enjoy weekends.

Is this what life is about? I used to have a part time job, I loved it. I didn't love it because the job was fun. I loved it because I used adderall to work and it made me enjoy it. Ever since I stopped the adderall and entered sobriety, I dont even want to look for work.

How do people do it? Do you guys force yourself to get up in the morning? Do you work due to the fear of consequences if you stopped working? At one time I used to be like that, forced myself to go, great pay, but ended up horribly depressed after doing the same shit for a year.

Life sucks, we slave ourselves through most of it and then die? This is it?

I do not have interest in anything. Never had. I racked up loan after loan to live life on my terms. Maybe I was never cut out for this world.

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you build up to it, in baby steps.  mike wrote a good example, like pushing a giant wheel.  it's hard to start, but once it gets some momentum it doesnt seem so bad

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Couple questions: 

 

1. How old are you?

 

2. How long were you off Adderall?

 

After reading this, you remind me of.. well.. me. I, too, used to wonder what's the point of slaving away at work only to live for the weekend where we look forward to drinking ourselves to pleasant numbness only to return to work 48 hours later. Rinse and repeat.

 

But after entering the workforce and working at a job for 50+ hours a week I've come to realize that the concept of striving for "happiness" from life is flawed and can paradoxically lead to more suffering. Trying to be "happy" with such a dutiful life is like trying not to imagine a white bear if asked "Try not to depict an image of a white bear in your head". I've since then stopped striving for "happiness" and instead aim for something that the English language doesn't have a word for.. tranquility, flourishing, and/or fulfillment are three words that come close though. 

 

Then comes to how I do it. Do I have to force myself up in the morning? Sometimes, sure. It's like working out for me. There are many times I do NOT feel like going to workout but I go anyways, why? Because I'm committed to it. I do force myself to go, or at least at the beginning I did. But I've since then made it a habit to just go, whether I want to or not. I know it offers both mental and physical benefits, but that doesn't exactly motivate me to go when I do not want to go. So instead of trying to think my way through it (which will usually lead to me not going because of x or y reasons), I just go. And the going gets easier as time passes. As far as fear goes, I believe we do many things in life out of fear. Fear is a powerful motivator, and using fear as a motivator isn't a bad thing sometimes. I have a fear of returning back to my high school weight (very obese) and my high school mindset (not giving a fuck about anything), and I use that fear to get my ass in gear when I find myself slipping. 

 

Look man, you seem depressed. When I get depressed, I adopt the same tone you used in the post you made above, the "What's the point of anything, why the fuck should I give a fuck about anything, and why don't I like anything anymore?" view. The solution, I've found, is to start making small changes in your life and sticking to them. I advocate exercise because it works for me, but it could be anything (reading, walking outside, listening to interesting podcasts etc.). The trick is you have to stick to it, no matter what. Be ruthless with yourself when sticking to this change. Make it a habit. It'll show your brain that what you choose to do can directly impact your wellbeing instead of exclusively relying on pills for happiness. Feel free to message me with any questions you may have. I empathize with your situation, I really do. 

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Man your post probably not intended but really made me realize why I fought so hard to be self employed run my own business. I've taken it all for granted and off addy seems it's so much harder to do successfully. I've often thought lately about calling it quits not having to deal with so many things if I just go to work for someone. But then again I have freedom now and no one telling me what to do or how many hours to work. I just hope I can kick my own ass into gear before I give in and be unhappy working my life away for someone else.

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You can make your life whatever you want it to be.  Maybe your life just sucks right now?  What CAN you do to change it so it doesn't suck so much?  What do you want to be doing instead?  Do you have any hobbies outside of work that you enjoy?  

 

You said your parents work 60 hours a week just to enjoy the weekends.  Man, if that's their worst problem and your worst problem is that you hate working, then is that really THAT bad?  Have you ever tried making a gratitude list of all the awesome things you have in your life?  I suggest doing it every single day.  Focus on ALL that is awesome in your life.  The things you take for granted each day like maybe having parents that are still alive, healthy, and together?  Parents that you get to talk to every single day if you need a shoulder to cry on or support.  How about a job that pays the bills so that you are fed, have a shelter, car, and even get to enjoy a weekend of downtime to do whatever you want.  How about just waking up and having your health.  There are people battling cancer and fighting for their lives.  The fact you GET to wake up every day, go to a job to see what you CAN accomplish, have time to debate why life sucks when there are children in Africa starving to death, people homeless, mentally disabled, and you have every opportunity in your lifetime to figure out what will make you happy and do it...is life really THAT terrible?

 

Try this....every single day at the end of your day - write down 3 good things that happened to you.  Could be as simple as you enjoyed a fantastic meal with a friend, you watched the sunrise while taking a morning walk, you helped an elderly person in need, you called an old friend and caught up laughing about old times, you spent time with one of your parents, you came to this site and saw that your words of encouragement lifted someone else up when they were struggling, you checked an item off your bucket list, created a bucket list, got a great workout in, or maybe just woke up from a great 8 hours sleep feeling refreshed.  Do this every night - 3 good things that happened.  Then in the morning make a gratitude list.  FOCUS on what is good and I promise you, life will stop sucking so much.  

 

All the best!

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