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bluemoon

Things are turning around :)

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Recently I celebrated my one year anniversary of being free from Adderall. Hardest year of my life!! Really struggled with fatigue, depression, weight gain, zero motivation, anhedonia. Of course, these things slowly improve with time but I just really felt like I was never going to feel better.

I noticed lately I have actually been able to actually "have fun" and not dread social events as much.  I had a freaking blast at my work Christmas party last weekend, which was really nice in comparison to last year when I went to my work Christmas party with only one month clean under my belt. 

I am down 10 lbs from my heaviest post-Adderall weight, and although I do still have a long way to go, I am finally feeling something I haven't felt for a long time: MOTIVATION! What the hell! Haha. Still have 25 lbs to go, but I really do feel I am ready and I can do this. I will be strutting the beach in that damn bikini this summer! 

I have also recently met a guy who has been treating me like a queen, I'm sure he has a little to do with all of these good feelings. I was very worried I would not be able to ever have feelings for someone again after I quit Adderall. I felt like it would be impossible for me to ever feel love again. Things with this guy are pretty new, but I am hoping they continue to go as well as they have been going thus far. It is nice to feel alive again! 

I'm still not 100% where I want to be, but I can feel it getting closer (finally!!).. I still have some fatigue and anxiety, but I do believe I will feel better by continuing to go to the gym, eating right and getting my weight back down to where I am comfortable and happy.

If you are struggling and feeling like you will never feel happy again, like you will never feel better... I promise you, IT DOES GET BETTER!!! It takes a LONG ass time, but it gets better :)

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I think if someone took all the post from us and others feeling of hopelessness, anxiety and disappointment made a timeline graph they would all be pretty damn similar. I think at some point past the year mark you slowly stop looking at everything you do as a accomplishment from being off adderal u just do them. That's when I recently felt things are slowly getting better don't get me wrong I have a lot of issues but I can't blame them on adderall now or feel adderall is by any means a solution. So congrats Bluemoon and to anyone quitting if my pill popping ass of not just addy but other very hard pills can quit a year anybody can. You just must be stubborn as fuck about it don't let the pills win.

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That's amazing news bluemoon! Congrats on one year clean!! Thank you for sharing and so glad to hear you've met someone ego sees your worth :) keep it going!

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