New here, my story

[Sunnie]

Hey, im new here thought id share my story see if anyone had any similar experiences or advice. 

 

I started taking adderall after a bad break up, to mask my emotions and lack of confidence. I went on an ego power trip and decided I was going to get into med school. Ive been working my ass off ever since to took my first pill and now im done with my first semester. But I realized it all came at a higher cost, which isnt sustainable. I isolated myself, my health has deteriorated i had insomnia every over night and still made it to classes, stressed 24/7, depressed, and finally at the end of the semester i got mono. Over christmas break, while i had mono i realized i had a problem and i cant continue living like this. I used to be likeable, physically fit, and attractive. Now i look like a pasty zombie and my class mates think im a loner. The problem is that im worried that quitting adderall on top of recovering from mono will leave me so drained of energy that i wont pass the first year of medical school. And worse, without adderall idk if ill have the drive/interest to study. I just feel like a fuck up. 

Advice/ encouragement greatly appreciated.

 

[Frank B]

So how long have you been on adderall now ? If it's been 1-2 years your in good shape recovery should be a lot faster it won't be easy don't get me wrong. I've never had mono but does not look fun at all does adderall actually combat the mono? How were you diagnosed with mono doctor or yourself? You are not a fuck up your addicted to a powerful stimulant and trying to break free it's  freaking hard. Blame the government for allowing this to be legal while people suffering from cancer in most states still can't get medical marijuana which is not addictive. It's a fucking game we are all victims of big Pharma and it's money making machine of getting people addictied to very powerful drugs that are very hard to quit. 

[Sunnie]

I've been on adderall about a year and 4 months. Im in med school in Poland so i first went to the doctors there, they thought I had tonsilitis and started me on some antibiotics I ended up getting worse, so they sent me for blood tests, and they still couldnt figure out i had mono and started me on a stronger antibiotic and then i got a rash all over my body and had horrible fever so I decided to take a sick leave from school a week before christmas break and traveled back home to Norway. I saw a dr as soon as i got back and they confirmed mono. I definitely think that adderall contributed to how sick i got from mono,  I was malnourished, sleep deprived, and exhausted. 

 

I completely agree about the big pharma stuff too. Its horribly cruel. 

 

Quitting adderall in the middle of med school almost feels like Im trying to sabotage myself, but I just can't continue the way I was. And i know I wont just be able to take less, I have no self control when it comes to that stuff. Ive considered asking my psychiatrist for provigil or a non-stimulant ADHD medication though.

 

By the way, I attended my first year of collage at KU! It was without adderall too, I have a lot of great memories from that place  

[Frank B]

Rock chalk!

I  hope u can somehow graduate med school without it we need more people in the field that won't hand out pills like candy for a quick fix. I think you know better then most of us the damages this medication does and if you read a few stories u learn quitting is a long journey. Feel though you've only been on it a year and a few months your way better off quitting before 1 year turns into 4 years or 10 years like myself it just gets harder to recover longer your brain gets exposure to adderall. 

[Sunnie]

Jayhawk! 

Since ive had mono and time passes painfully slowly without adderall ive had time to think about where my motivation is going to come from now that I dont get a daily dose of motivation from a pill, and i believe this will be the source. This medication has to become more regulated. With the current situation of prescription pill addiction and mortality rate, its pretty much unethical (and baffeling) that this stuff is still being prescribed. It grinds my gears for sure.  

 

Thanks for your advice and response, I'm glad I found this forum. It really helps to know that other people are out there with the same struggle, fighting for their life back and succeeding.