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Quitting again after a setback


rachel7822

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I quit for two and a half weeks and then my doctor called in my medication again even though I asked him not to. As soon as I got the alert that it was at the pharmacy I obviously took it. Today was my second day back on it and I felt like SHIT. Yesterday I took over my dose and today I only took one and still felt awful both days. Nauseous, headache, just felt like a zombie. And so ashamed--I had admitted it to my family and close friends so this felt doubly bad. I told my husband and we just flushed the remaining pills. I feel like I'm going to regret it later but we'll see. Feeling that was was NOT sustainable. I literally felt like I wanted to lay down in the road and die on my walk home tonight. Maybe this is really it this time. 

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Don't beat yourself up over it. Getting off this crap is HARD!! It's scary how the addicted brain can convince you to take something you swore you had no intention to ever touch again. Try to take this as a lesson learned, and now you always have this post to come back to if you need a reminder that it will only leave you feeling worse off than before. I personally find it really helpful to read my older posts when I'm feeling down or questioning my decision to quit. 

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Thank you! You have no idea how much it means to get some support. I'm prescribed Adderall and Vyvanse and currently have the latter waiting for me at the pharmacy (don't lose hope! It's day 3 and I haven't picked up) and it's so hard. Today's the first day I didn't imagine myself napping on the ground and in the road so I'm feeling ok. Although I did miss my subway stop on the way to work bc I fell asleep. Anyway just wanted to check in and say thanks.

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