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Not the forum type, but giving it a go!

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Hello, I'm new in town.  Quitting officially after 12 crucial years of convincing myself I'm a grown up, though missing critical grown up qualities all the adults I know seem to possess.  12 years of detachment, of depersonalization, growing on top of already rather malignant depression. 

I'm here because I know I'm gonna need the help.  I've read a lot already, visiting several times a day as it seems like a great reference for when I'm feeling especially vulnerable to the speed spell.  I'm prepared for misery. I'm hoping it won't be too bad. 

I'm worried, also. My fiancee is prescribed, not a habitual user like myself, but summoning the will to keep myself out of his stash has been a problem in the past.  However, I've never wanted to quit as strongly as I need to now. I don't feel tempted by them, I feel disgusted by them. As long as I can hold onto that, and constantly remind myself that the "lost" feeling I have now is worse than any pain of withdrawal, I think I can make it. 

And deja vu, as if these aren't my words but somebody else's that I've already read today... :wacko:

Thanks for existing!!

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