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oswhid

One Year (& eight days) Plus a Confession

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My husband reached the one year mark on May 14.  I haven't posted yet because we left on that day to go on our first vacation alone together since before he started taking adderall the summer of 2005.  We had a lot of fun.  A week away going to the beach, biking, kayaking and just hanging out.  Unthinkable a year ago! 

We went on one family vacation in 2009 before all the kids had all left for college but by that time we weren't really "together".   Prior to 2005, we went on a family vacation every summer.  By the time he quit, the only thing we did together was occasionally going out to eat and even then nine time out of ten we would drive home in angry silence because we were not capable of having a conversation that didn't somehow turn into an argument.

I spent about 11 years trying to make sense of the disconnect between the person I knew for 19 years and this person that I was currently living with.   I have spent the last year trying to wrap my head around having the first version back.  Well not exactly the first version but pretty close. 

He's still trying to get the whole exercise thing going but the priority this first year has been surviving at work and rebuilding our relationship.  Hopefully,  we can both work on health and fitness more this next year.

Several months before he actually quit cold turkey, he was "supposed" to be tapering down.  When he got within a couple of weeks of when he was due to be done, he said that he wasn't ready to quit and hadn't decided yet if he ever would.  He said not to bother him and that he would let me know his decision.  It was then I made a post here under another user name.  The next day, he texted me that he had refilled his prescriptions that morning.  I called and actually read him that post out loud over the phone. The only reason he even listened was because he was at work and I said I would come there and make a scene if he didn't.   Not sure if it had any effect but I didn't let up and he quit for real about a month later.

So my confession:   I am "justsaying" and I posted "letter to my husband" on April 12, 2016.  I'm sure some of you probably already suspected that though! :)

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This brings tears of joy to my face for you. I know the strength it has taken on both sides to get you where you are now...together. Thank you for posting your story. 

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