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Lillyloo

300mg a day down to 0mg

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Three hundred. My god lol

I hope to share my story once I've got more clean time and mental strength to do so. The fact that I was able to even sign up for an account and follow through with a post feels like an accomplishment in itself.

If an extreme 10 year case like myself can be on zero, you can do it too

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It is a slow but incredibly rewarding process.  My favorite part has been rediscovering my personality that had been concealed by pills for 15 years.  Go easy on yourself, lots of Netflix and chill time!! You will love life so much more. Hang in there & congrats! 

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Thanks everyone.  Words of encouragement seem to be the best remedy thus far.

Im at four months. I had to go to to treatment and go to a sober living (still here).  I don't know if that needs to be the solution for other cases but for the amount I was on and for the length of time it has all been very necessary.  At treatment I started off with 60 mg a day and tapered 10 mg a week until I was at zero.    I don't think I personally could have mentally committed to going off of it without the taper.  Even 60 mg felt like baby aspirin at the time.

I've been going to AA meetings every day partially because it's a requirement as part of being in my sober living.   I would go to more NA meetings but they are less common around here. I have to say it is really hard at times to relate and stay positive - I don't think people on other substances can always identify to some of the withdrawal effects of Adderall.   And that goes both ways...when I hear people often talk about anxiety I'm like, what anxiety? Can I get that in pill form?  In general I don't find former Addy  users openly out there  so I gravitate towards former meth addicts when I can.  

Alcohol and most other substances are depressants so I find that the recovery process is by nature different compared to stimulants.  When I share my problems with depression and lethargy in meetings, people often act that it is an issue of spiritual malady and that I just need to give in to a higher power, and once I do that I will feel better.  I won't argue that I have a spiritual malady but I don't think it's the main source of my physical and mental withdrawal symptoms at the moment.  I'm not saying that this is harder or easier than other peoples problems… It's just very different.  But even saying that I've been informed that I suffer from "terminal uniqueness". I don't know. Maybe so. Being quoted the big book all the time as a solution to PAWS can just feel frustrating. Sometimes Netflix maybe IS the right thing to do :) 

On the positive side AA does provide a focus on recovery as a whole though I have yet to really relate to other people's stories like I have on here. I am definitely grateful to have found this forum!

 

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I should add that while I am struggling a bit with certain things, I *do* feel a lot better on average than I did 4 months ago. Got to give those dopamine receptors time to upregulate!

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