I finally made the decision to stop being fat and depressed and stop feeling sorry for myself

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A month ago I saw an ad pop up on my FB timeline for a bootcamp near my house.  It was only for woman, which is something I normally wouldn't of done.  I signed up for a free class. I went and got there early, sat in my car and thought about it.  I almost drove off.  How am I gonna work out 40lbs fatter than what my normal weight is?

thank god I didn't drive off and stayed. Granted, I probably could only do half of it it but not only did I stay but I signed up for two months.  It's only three times a week and at first, let me tell you, I couldn't walk the first three days lol. But now my legs are finally use to the pain and I go and do cardio at my complex gym on my days off from bootcamp.

since I quit addy in sept, I can tell you this- for the first time since then I'm starting to feel 'normal'. I still have my ups and downs and I'm tired but you guys-- getting off my ass and just making the first move has been amazing.  I feel better physically and mentally. I've been eating healthy as well and although it's only been a few weeks I can feel my jeans already feeling looser.  it motivates me to do more. 

and now, I actually look forward and enjoy bootcamp. it's so nice to be able to excercise without my damn heart beating out of my chest.  This sounds so lame but I feel like I'm beating adderall every time I'm working out and getting my anger out.  I feel accomplished kinda like I won the 'battle'. 

The hardest part in all of this? Was taking the first step and actually going to a class. No joke,  anyways, I know no one is gonna run to a bootcamp after reading this or anything lol but I just wanted to share.. never thought I would be writing something like this, that's for sure. 

In my early stages of recovery I would always read posts on here w people saying it will get better, it gets easier.  I would just roll my eyes and think yeah right no it's not. I would wish I could fast forward to be where they are.  I think I just learned that things aren't going to happen on their own.  You have to really fight for this.  it sure as hell isnt going to be easy, but I hope to god it's worth it.  


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This is a perfect example of taking ownership of your situation and proactively doing something about it. It's okay to logon to vent on these forums. I mean, I get it. But, after a while, you start to realize that these problems are yours. You're the one experiencing the pain. And you're the one who can do something about it. I'm very happy to hear you're finding some relief and gaining some control back in your life. It's empowering to find something that provides you some control over your problems. I, too, use exercise as a tool to manage and ultimately minimize my problems/suffering throughout this recovery process. I personally cannot imagine recovering from Adderall without exercising. But, to each their own. If exercise just really isn't their thing, then I hope they find something. Keep us updated on your progress!!

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Thanks guys. It definitely took a long time to get here. Honestly, the biggest motivator was seeing myself in the mirror or in a picture.  I don't recognize the person I become. For once since quitting adderall, I actually feel somewhat in control again. For once in ten years, I'm starting to feel 'normal'.  Also, I never use to drink coffee as I hated it (still do lol) but I drink two cups in the morning and it helps tremendously w my appetite and my energy levels. 

Quitting adderall was the hardest thing I ever had to do and literally the worst time in my life.  it's just time to force myself to move on to the next step...I can't keep living in this awful misery.. I just can't. 

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