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AdderallAbuser95

I Desperately Need Help...Please

4 posts in this topic

I've quit adderall about 5 different times, yet seem to always go back to it for some reason...most recently being yesterday and into this current morning. My problem is that I can't control my self so I end up binging on it whenever I do take it. My binges are usually about 80-140 mg within a 24-36 hour period, including yesterday and this morning, which I am currently coming down from. I've put my heart through this so many times, I feel like its a ticking time bomb til my heart says enough and just gives up. So far within the last two hours I've had aggressive heart palipations, some light headedness, anxiety, a brief shortness of breath, and a resting heart rate of about 126 bpm. I'm scared.... this drug has a grasp on my life and I can't seem to let it go. I just poured the remainder of my prescription down the toilet, but my problem is that I keep going back to get it refilled and cant seem to keep myself from not doing it. I just really want my old life back... I want my health, my friends/family, my personality, my natural self, even if it means sacrificing my ability to focus. Not being able to focus normally is an enormous struggle for me, especially when it comes to reading, but adderall just isn't the answer. I want to be free from this drug once and for all for the love of God please help me. I feel like I need someone who I can text or call whenever I'm tempted to take adderall again... I just don't know what the answer is....

 

If anyone also has tips to come down from it safely I'd greatly appreciate it as I'm really scared right now, thank you

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I'll also be looking through the site for help while I wait for replies, i need something to keep my mind off these horrible side effects im having

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Breatheeeeeeeeeeeee. You're okay. I promise.

If I'm correct in guessing that the "95" at the end of your username signifies the year you were born (this is the same format I used to use for usernames and such), that makes you 22ish.

I'm 25, and your age is exactly when my addiction really started to explode into unhealthy dosages/binges.  Around 22, I really started noticing the toll adderall was taking on my relationships and performance in life. And you know what? I'm fine now. My body is fine, my mind is fine, and I'm not broken. You haven't done any permanent damage to yourself. Not yet.

So for right now, relax. The speed has a hold of your thought process, and probably will continue to for the next few days. That's okay. Just focus on eating chips, watching netflix, and letting your brain flush the toxic shit out. I've been through this process dozens of times (and I'm guessing you have too). It's going to be alright.

Now.

You and I both know you need to quit. It's time to stop putting yourself through this. The freedom on the other side of this nasty addiction is fucking wonderful. It's tough to get to, but once you're here I promise it'll all feel worth it. You have to make the decision to never use adderall again. Tell your friends and family about this decision. You never, ever, ever have to take a pill again. Not if you don't want to.

Welcome. You're in the right place and we already love you!

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Get help go to rehab (if possible I did outpatient myself couldn't afford intake) , NA meeting , friend or family. Ultimately this is your battle but to get started you really need some support and to be honest about it. If you are anything like I was nobody really knows what your dealing with. So many times I hoped to have a hospital emergency heart attack ,break down or whatever just so I could get help. It never came to that point but it certainly could have. Don't let that be your wake up call get going now without the huge medical emergency bill or worse. 

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