Almost 4mo off and miserable

[EricP 191]

I am 44 and was on Adderall 5mg IR twice a day for past two years plus a couple years back in 2005 for treating adult ADD. I quit this time for good in late May this year when I came down with a cold. So somewhat cold turkey. I don't recall the withdrawals last time like this however I think I skipped more days back then. This time almost 4mo and still miserable...

I have depression, anxiety, mild hand tremors and little Apathy for anything, I can get to sleep however if I wake up forget getting back to sleep. Each day is like a test to see if I can get anything done or not. Some days are a little better than others for unknown reasons. Seems like I will get a couple "ok days" then crash... My crash days I could burn hours doing nothing, my good days mean that I can make a list of "must do" items and maybe get most of them done... However these are simple lists like go to the grocery store, bank etc... I have my own business and my employees must think something is up... Luckily so far they have picked up some good slack. 

I am eating healthy protein, veggies, fruits, nuts and only good carbs. I am taking Thyrosine 1000mg twice a day, B vitamins, Multivitamins, Omega 3's, Magnesium, 5htp to help calm my anxiety, Melatonin to help sleep... I was considering trying Mucuna Purens however I am afraid that could just create another dependency.. 

Nothing seems to make much a difference. I feel like I really screwed up my Dopamine supply or something, considering a neurologist appointment. I pray this gets better, after all the negative stuff I have read I have zero desire to go back which is the good news.

Does anyone that has been off Adderall for a long period have symptoms like this during your sobriety process?  

 

[Nicole88 219]

Hi Eric!

Welcome to the boards. I have been off of adderall for a little over 14 months after about 8 years of use. If you look back at some of my posts, you'll see I went through this EXACT phase at 4 months. In fact, months 4-6 were the absolute worst for me. I was quite literally on the verge of a mental breakdown where I was ready to quit my job, say fck everything, and move back in with my parents lol: I think diet, exercise, and some supplements certainly can help,  but the best thing is to just focus on getting though one day at a time. I know it feels like it will NEVER get better, but it does and there is so much evidence on this site from ppl who have quit long term.

I personally saw improvements in months 7-9, but the real turn around where I started to feel like a normal person again came in month 10. It's been consistently improving since then, and I think of adderall less and less. 

Best of luck to you, and keep us posted on your progress  

[EricP 191]

Thank you for the warm welcome Nicole!

Yes I have had many thoughts about selling or even closing my business as that is the biggest stress I have to face daily... I am struggling thru each day as you said, some better than others. 

I am very glad to read your and other similar stories here as I have read many others that people claim like 4-8 weeks and they were all good... 

I originally decided to quit as my dose seemed ineffective. I was drinking a lot of coffee to somewhat make up what Adderall wasn't doing and that didn't work either... Would catch myself nodding off driving in the afternoon etc... All that scared me and the doc just wanted to increase my dose... Even as of my last appointment yesterday my doctor said I "just might need it" to function... So crazy, I have thought about getting a new doc however she is good about appointments and all other basic heath matters and referrals.

[EricP 191]

Also did you consider an antidepressant? I have been considering it however it is just another thing I would need to quit later. Doc mentioned Wellbutrin, I passed for now

[Frank B 953]

13 hours ago, EricP said:

Thank you for the warm welcome Nicole!

Yes I have had many thoughts about selling or even closing my business as that is the biggest stress I have to face daily... I am struggling thru each day as you said, some better than others. 

I am very glad to read your and other similar stories here as I have read many others that people claim like 4-8 weeks and they were all good... 

I originally decided to quit as my dose seemed ineffective. I was drinking a lot of coffee to somewhat make up what Adderall wasn't doing and that didn't work either... Would catch myself nodding off driving in the afternoon etc... All that scared me and the doc just wanted to increase my dose... Even as of my last appointment yesterday my doctor said I "just might need it" to function... So crazy, I have thought about getting a new doc however she is good about appointments and all other basic heath matters and referrals.

 I thought about selling buisness also but stuck with it glad I did not. It's seems harder in some ways to do this when u call your own shots nobody looking over your shoulder holding you accountable . But I have no employees that might make a difference in your case you have to not just worry about yourself. Good luck with whichever direction you go given your pretty low dosage and time on it you should get back on track quicker than most of us who were up to 60+ mg a day for multiple years. Not saying it makes it easier what your going through but it should not last as long hopefully. 

[EricP 191]

Thank you Frank. I am hoping the same thing, I am a little more sensitive to medications etc than others though so maybe that changes things for me.

I definitely need to keep work intact for now, or until I can find something else that pays the bills. It's a good business however with employees that I care about I do think about their families also and if things get mismanaged for too long this ship could sink fast...

One day at a time... 

 

[sleepystupid 355]

On 9/13/2017 at 11:56 AM, EricP said:

Also did you consider an antidepressant? I have been considering it however it is just another thing I would need to quit later. Doc mentioned Wellbutrin, I passed for now

i think my withdrawal symptoms were curbed quite a bit by wellbutrin. i was on wellbutrin and adderall at the same time, quit the adderall cold turkey and stayed on the wellbutrin for approximately 3 months after, then quit that as well.

i think keeping the business is the absolute right decision- in fact, it will likely be the thing that keeps you on track. i think the difficulty many people have during the recovery phase is having something that is really meaningful to do that keeps you occupied. this is especially the case when you have some amount of external accountability (people are depending on you). after all, an idle mind is the devil's playground  (:

[EricP 191]

Thanks for the tip! My doc did offer Wellbutrin however I was hesitant as I just was worried about having something else to get off later. I may consider it if things are not better by my next doctor visit.

This week has improved a bit since I began getting a quick run in each morning before work. I want to be consistent with this and see how long a span I can go without a horrible day like Tuesday.

Next week I have a couple stressful work days I just MUST perform and am a little worried however I plan to take care of myself in the days leading up to those. 

[bluemoon 322]

4 months is still VERY early in recovery. Everything you're feeling/experiencing is totally normal. The entire first year is super rough no matter which way you look at it. 

[EricP 191]

Thank you bluemoon. I don't expect an overnight fix so reassurance that this timeline is normal does help the anxiety of it all. I have been making notes and logging my good and bad days and anything signicant I do different like exercise or change in diet. Not sure it will help however if I could identify some sort regularity or warning timeline that causes my really bad days it would be helpful. 

Not sure if it is related or not to this process however digestion seems to perform about the same way now. All can be consistently normal a few days then suddenly after eating any meat chicken will get abnormal gas and a steak will cause the same with a day or two of constipation... 

[hyper_critical 445]

It's great that you posted what you're going through at four months. Coming here when you're struggling is always a good call.

FYI - I got on Wellbutrin at six months and used it for a couple years. I think it really helped smooth out (but certainly not eliminate) the ups and downs we inevitably go through re-acquainting ourselves with the world off Adderall. Getting off it was uncomfortable for a week, and a little weird for another week, but that was it. Nothing like getting off Adderall or SSRI's.

Keep on keepin' on. : )

[EricP 191]

Thank you hyper_critical! I am seriously thinking about it.

I have have two doctors that also agree Welbutrin may help me with the transition. 

Initially besides the idea of another medication I was mostly concerned about trying it only because I read the side effects were potentiallly  loss of sleep and anxiety. I already have those issues so am hoping it doesn't amplify them any further..

[EricP 191]

A week on welbutrin, the first 3-4 days were great. Probably enough clarity like what I was originally hoping for from Adderall however got MUCH MORE... Days 5/6 I kinda crashed mood wise not sure why and my stomach is a bit off... today I am feeling ok, not much to report... Will update in a couple weeks as I realize this stuff needs time to really work the kinks out.