Is Happiness Just a Word?

[The Chieftain]

I was on Adderall IR for a year.  My psych doc wrote me a script during my second year of law school despite the fact that neither him nor I believed that I had ADD/ADHD.  I started out with 20/20 mg pills per month.  As I developed a tolerance I eventually got up to 45/20 mg pills per month.

My reasons for quitting include: rapid heartbeat, high blood pressure, lack of sleep, social withdrawal, severe weight loss, social awkwardness, paranoia, etc. 

I have currently been off Adderall for 2.5 months and it has been a rollercoaster.  I have experienced depression, anxiety, fatigue, and inability to concentrate.  While I've found that exercise and a healthy diet help, most of the time I still feel like a madman.  In a week I have to take law school exams without the aid of prescription stimulants and I am afraid that I will not be able to cut it.

In conclusion, I believe that I have done damage to my dopamine receptors that may never fully heal.  It amazes me that Adderall has wreaked so much havoc in my life in such a short time and at a relatively low dose.  It saddens me that these drugs are given to kids.  Thanks to all of you out there that contribute to this amazing online resource.  I will keep my fellow Adderall Withdrawal Warriors in my prayers.

 

[quit-once]

1 hour ago, The Chieftan said:

I was on Adderall IR for a year.  

My reasons for quitting include: rapid heartbeat, high blood pressure, lack of sleep, social withdrawal, severe weight loss, social awkwardness, paranoia, etc.

In conclusion, I believe that I have done damage to my dopamine receptors that may never fully heal.  It amazes me that Adderall has wreaked so much havoc in my life in such a short time and at a relatively low dose. 

 

I  took it for nine years.

I quit because I realized it was an unsustainable addiction and because it was fucking with my health.

I, too, worry that I have done damage to my brain that may never fully heal.  Just have to work with what's left  and make the best of it......

 

[The Chieftain]

Thanks for the reply @quit-once, that is a good way to look at it.  I find that I do better when I look at quitting as an adventure, if it went perfect there would be nothing to overcome and it wouldn't be an adventure.

[EricP]

15 hours ago, The Chieftan said:

I have currently been off Adderall for 2.5 months and it has been a rollercoaster.  I have experienced depression, anxiety, fatigue, and inability to concentrate.  While I've found that exercise and a healthy diet help, most of the time I still feel like a madman.  In a week I have to take law school exams without the aid of prescription stimulants and I am afraid that I will not be able to cut it.

In conclusion, I believe that I have done damage to my dopamine receptors that may never fully heal.  It amazes me that Adderall has wreaked so much havoc in my life in such a short time and at a relatively low dose.  It saddens me that these drugs are given to kids. 

2.5 months of recovery after a year of use is still very early. I used about a year and a half however stayed near your first dose. I am now just past 6mo and my journey has been awful. I can say docs are for the most part idiots. I have communicated the affects of Adderall and it's withdrawl and they have told me "taking Adderall is as safe as driving a car" and withdrawals only last about 30 days. I have been to two general practitioners, 3 neurologists a psychologist and a psychiatrist and they all look at me like I am crazy and suggest I resume the medication and "we should up the dose". I finally got one Neuro to do some research as I asked him if he would read some links that I would email, he was very supportive on my next visit.

Anyway at 6mo now I feel a lot better, last week I was very busy and I was pretty focused at work for the first time. This weekend a bit lazy again however I will know more once Monday begins tomorrow with the busyness it will be apparent quickly if it's going to be a good day or bad day.

The good and bad days come and go in waves it seems and you just have to take things a day at a time. The best stories with positive news on this forum are all around the 1-2yr mark.

Best of luck and feel free to post your progress and questions in your journey.

[The Chieftain]

@EricP thanks for the reply.  It is good to hear from someone who is in a similar situation.  I can definitely identify w/ the idiocy of doctors when it comes to Adderall.  Sometimes I get the feeling that there is also a little willful blindness mixed in. 

Glad to hear you are starting to feel better.  Your post gives me a spark of hope.  I will keep posting and will fight to stay positive. 

Keep soldiering on brothers and sisters.