Leslie Johnson

Struggling. 5 months out.

6 posts in this topic

I just want my life back. I am more depressed than I ever knew was humanly possible. Full of anxiety about things that I've never had anxiety about before. This is not who I am... 

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5mo is still early, be as strong as you can... Its one day at a time literally. I am just a bit over 6mo and for me I just recently fought off the depression. Still waiting for more things to improve once I make it a year plus... it will get better just stay close to your support here and keep sharing your thoughts 

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aside from toughing it out, which is undeniably tough, i can personally say that a low to moderate dose of wellbutrin definitely helped and helps me to this day. it's an atypical antidepressant, so it's quite different than the others which have wildly fluctuating effects on people. it's an SNRI which means it acts primarily on norepinephrine and secondarily on dopamine, (but not in the way adderall does).

some people are quite averse to hopping onto another pill (understandably so), but what i can say about wellbutrin is that there are very few side-effects and it is easy to start and stop at low doses. if it means the difference between misery and function, it may be worth discussing with your doc. (:

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@sleepystupid @hyper_critical @EricP Thank you guys, so much. I appreciate the support. 

I was feeling pretty hopeless on the night I posted this. Sometimes I find myself researching too much about what's wrong with me, and not enough about what I can do to improve myself. This is definitely the most challenging/unique battles I've ever had to overcome in my life. One moment I feel as if there is light at the end of the tunnel, and the next moment I find myself doubting that anything positive could be at the end of the road due to how long I've been struggling. I'm almost to the 6 month mark. 

I'm not any worse, I do have to say I've made improvements. But I still feel like there's a lot of time and struggle between now and the time that I'll feel content with where my outlook on life is. 

Positives I've Noticed: 

  • I'm starting not to have nightmares as much. 
  • I laugh and smile a little bit more. 
  • I've been getting things done around the house more often. 
  • I joined a fitness program that I think I'm going to like. 
  • My anxiety frequency and intensity is a little bit less intense than times in the past. 

Struggle Areas: 

  • I do still have anxiety, worrying about what the future holds. 
  • Doctors have not been able to help.. 
  • I struggle with hopelessness. 
  • Constantly trying to figure out if there's an easy-way-out.. knowing there's not and it just takes time. 
  • Anhedonia. 

 

Again, thank you guys! I am so thankful for this site and those who contribute. 

 

 

 

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On 12/29/2017 at 4:48 PM, Leslie Johnson said:

@sleepystupid @hyper_critical @EricP Thank you guys, so much. I appreciate the support. 

I was feeling pretty hopeless on the night I posted this. Sometimes I find myself researching too much about what's wrong with me, and not enough about what I can do to improve myself. This is definitely the most challenging/unique battles I've ever had to overcome in my life. One moment I feel as if there is light at the end of the tunnel, and the next moment I find myself doubting that anything positive could be at the end of the road due to how long I've been struggling. I'm almost to the 6 month mark. 

I'm not any worse, I do have to say I've made improvements. But I still feel like there's a lot of time and struggle between now and the time that I'll feel content with where my outlook on life is. 

Positives I've Noticed: 

  • I'm starting not to have nightmares as much. 
  • I laugh and smile a little bit more. 
  • I've been getting things done around the house more often. 
  • I joined a fitness program that I think I'm going to like. 
  • My anxiety frequency and intensity is a little bit less intense than times in the past. 

Struggle Areas: 

  • I do still have anxiety, worrying about what the future holds. 
  • Doctors have not been able to help.. 
  • I struggle with hopelessness. 
  • Constantly trying to figure out if there's an easy-way-out.. knowing there's not and it just takes time. 
  • Anhedonia. 

 

Again, thank you guys! I am so thankful for this site and those who contribute. 

 

 

 

Good list.  I feel the same going on 5 months.  I have found that dabbling with different nootropics has helped me.  Also I've found loved ones are great for reminding you of the positives they see in you since you quit as well.  And I've had to learn to just give myself a break sometimes and not be so hard on myself.  Continued good luck to you...and all of us!

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