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EricP

1 YEAR

5 posts in this topic

1yr - I don’t know the “exact date” I quit as all I recall is catching a cold mid May last year and stopped taking my pills as I rested daily on my couch. I had no clue my cold symptoms were compounded with withdrawal. I had initially thought well if I am home sick laying low I probably don’t need and should take a break off my Addy... In prior months I had already thought about trying to quit however the cold is what gave me the initial gap in my schedule to test the idea... Well it was bad... So bad that by 6/6 I was at my primary doc with hands shaking, full of anxiety, amuck & thought I was gonna die. She ordered a ton of labs and told me to get back on my Addy... 

 
Well here I am a year later and what a ride... I can say it’s honestly been the hardest year of my life. In particular the waves of Apathy and Depression have been brutal aside from cognitive battles and just the lack of desire or energy to do anything... In this process I have spent a lot of money on vitamins and burnt a lot time; yet things have improved since a year ago by far, I still struggle... I must say however those who say it gets better at 1yr, you are blessed and I am truly happy for you! I still battle considerably and am certain I am either on the 2yr plan or just destined to have a “new normal” that is going to take a lot of “accepting” to find my new balance in life. 
 
For those “new” at this or just now considering stopping don’t take this as a “negative” as quitting this crap is the best thing you can do for yourself, period! 
 
There is no “end game” in taking adderall... Each pill is one more day of your life and another percentage accumulating in the difficulty to quit. This is not a pill designed to be taken into retirement... It’s crude bandaid that sells a piece of your soul in the process of tricking your mind in to thinking it is helping you... 
 
Things aren’t perfect for me however I am not doing any additional harm to my mind and body any longer and I won’t ever take Addy again. This I am sure of. 
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I viewed my addiction as a mortgage on my future and my future became more uncertain the longer I took it.  It is simply an unsustainable habit.  I sure wouldn't want to take it for the rest of my life - yet some people do take it for decades.  I'm glad you are done with adderall too, @EricP and making it through that first year is a huge notch in your belt.  I can assure you you will feel even better in a year from now.  Congratulations!  Go buy yourself something nice or treat yourself to something special.

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Congrats on one year! That is huge even if you don’t feel it yet. I remember it wasn’t until towards the end of year two around 18-19 months where I started to notice that I felt normal again. You are well on your way though and you’ll start having more good days and weeks in your second year. I am excited for you because I know exactly what you are going through and what you have to look forward to. Just keep surviving and getting more and more days under your belt and soon enough you will look back and realize that the worst is behind you. Keep it up!

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@quit-once & @Danquit Thank you for your words and support! Having the support of this forum this past year has been the key to my sanity on many days!

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