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OnSomething

Relapse Damage

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I made the mistake of justifying the reasons to try "just taking my prescribed amount" again. Of course I ended up binging almost the entire bottle within a few days and making some awful decisions- such as seeing my ex-abuser. The worst part is I don't even realize the extent of the damage that I'm doing when I'm high. Looking back, I wasn't ever myself even when I took my prescribed amount for a year. Adderall really is like a devil out to ruin my life. So today is my day one again, pills flushed and all. 

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I think some people think that  if you can successfully stay within the parameters of your prescribed amount that somehow that doesn't constitute abuse.  If you take speed on a consistent basis for several months and or years on end that is abuse in my view.  I don't think just because you stick to the MG amount as deemed appropriate by your Dealer in the white coat that this changes.  I have known a 6 year old girl who was prescribed 80 MG of IR a day!  I was 30 Year Old and 180 LB's and prescribed 40 MG of IR a day.  Both abuse in my book.  The length of time you take this drug may be more dangeous than the amount you take (within reason). Is 80 or 100 MG a day for a year worse than 40 MG for a decade?  If I follow the advice if my Meth Dealer and don't exceed the recommended dosing schedule a is it abuse?  On Something, thank you for sharing your relapse story with us, stay strong, many of us have relapsed.  Perhaps it is a blessing that you didn't stick to the prescribed dosing schedule, that may have turned out much worse.....

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@DopeyMean Perhaps you're right. Maybe I should have a thankful heart to have learned my lessons the hard way and got the drug out of my life vs never quite being the same with it at the prescribed amount in my system for the rest of my life

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Onsomething, thank you for having the courage to come on the forum and share your experiences.   I think most would agree that the more time this drug is out of our systems the more clearly we can see how damaging it was to our lives.....Your right, Adderall really is like a devil out to ruin our lives..... 

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Once you are addicted and you try to quit, there is no such thing as taking only your prescribed dose. That is complete bullshit and I firmly believe that people do not need this drug in heir lives. I also believe that adhd was made up by the industry to push this particular drug because of the money it generates for psychiatrists and shire pharmaceutical.

 Now that you went through your relapse, it’s time to get off again and stay off. I relapsed the first time I tried to quit and did exactly what you did, I binged a 30 day supply in a couple weeks and had psychosis which is what it finally took to get me to realize it was gonna kill me.

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