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A year off adderall and in a bit of a slump


NaterS

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I'm in the same exact position just at 17 months off and trying to decide to go back to college this semester or in the spring. I'm 25 and am also nervous about my ability to finish my degree since I relied heavily on adderall to get to my senior year where of he curriculum is ridiculous "chemical engineering" so idk whether to finish it or take a different path. 

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It was hard for me to do a few semesters of biology even with adderall, i have no clue how i would do it without. Chemical engineering is even tougher than bio so i cant even imagine.

I wonder if the hardest part is just gonna be getting myself to actually do the assignments and stay motivated throughout all of it. 

I tend to think adderall made me smarter at times, but I've also seen a study that showed that students only believed they preformed better on adderall and that they just felt more confident but got similar scores without it.

I'm hoping this is the case, it would be devastating to go back to school and not get good enough grades without adderall knowing that i was able to get good grades with it.

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13 hours ago, SeanW said:

I'm so tired.. so tired of this.. so tired of pain.. I don't want to be here anymore.. 

These feelings are going to pass.  It’s going to get better.  Slumps don’t last. What can you do right now to make you feel better.  Get outside and go for a walk in nature and get some sun on your skin. Hang in there. Be kind to yourself right now.  You can get through this and you will be even stronger for it. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I really feel like so much of this has to do with whatever adderall does to our reward system. Passing my 1yr by a couple months now I do find the energy and drive to get some stuff “done” and my depression  is much much less than before however it all feels pretty “flat” to me.

Finding joy is difficult and I get very little self reward out of just about anything. I have built up my confidence and am finally “functional” which I am so grateful for when I think back to how many hours I sat waisting away on my couch... Now no mater what “physical” side effects I have left I truly hope and pray I get my “joy” back... I see it everywhere and have great people surrounding me yet it is such a lonely place to just not “feel it” like normal people do...

This for me and perhaps any of you that can relate explains the “slump”.... 

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22 hours ago, EricP said:

I really feel like so much of this has to do with whatever adderall does to our reward system. Passing my 1yr by a couple months now I do find the energy and drive to get some stuff “done” and my depression  is much much less than before however it all feels pretty “flat” to me.

Finding joy is difficult and I get very little self reward out of just about anything. I have built up my confidence and am finally “functional” which I am so grateful for when I think back to how many hours I sat waisting away on my couch... Now no mater what “physical” side effects I have left I truly hope and pray I get my “joy” back... I see it everywhere and have great people surrounding me yet it is such a lonely place to just not “feel it” like normal people do...

This for me and perhaps any of you that can relate explains the “slump”.... 

Very well put. Being around friends and going out I too see the joy and wish I felt it like they do. I get very brief moments where I'm in the moment and full of joy but I watch it quickly fade away. Wish my damn brain would fix its self but maybe it'll never be the same. Hopefully years down the road I'll be able to live joyfully. Gotta keep some hope that I will at least..

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Their is a book called Ball Four which is an autobiography by professional pitcher Jim Bouton written in 1970.  Dextroamphetamine which at the time were referred to on the street as Greenies and pretty much identical to Adderall.....were used far and wide by professional athletes.  Here is a quote from that Book. "some of the guys have to take one just to get their hearts to start beating. I've taken Greenies but the trouble with them is that they make you feel so great that you think you're really smoking the ball even when you're not. They give you a false sense of security. The result is is that you get gay, throw it down the middle and get clobbered." 

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17 hours ago, SeanW said:

Very well put. Being around friends and going out I too see the joy and wish I felt it like they do. I get very brief moments where I'm in the moment and full of joy but I watch it quickly fade away. Wish my damn brain would fix its self but maybe it'll never be the same. Hopefully years down the road I'll be able to live joyfully. Gotta keep some hope that I will at least..

something to consider: many people look and act happier than they actually are. it's kind of the same thing as presenting the "perfect" version of yourself on Facebook (which is basically the reason i don't partake in social media).

i know it's hard to not compare yourself to others, but in this case i think it's especially important! i'd argue that you actually have the capacity to be happier than they could ever be, because you've experienced and conquered deeper pain.  (:

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6 hours ago, sleepystupid said:

something to consider: many people look and act happier than they actually are. it's kind of the same thing as presenting the "perfect" version of yourself on Facebook (which is basically the reason i don't partake in social media).

i know it's hard to not compare yourself to others, but in this case i think it's especially important! i'd argue that you actually have the capacity to be happier than they could ever be, because you've experienced and conquered deeper pain.  (:

I agree, I have stopped social media in past months as well... I really find little interest in it. Another part of this healing process is I find it increasingly more stressful to “keep up the pace” and “produce” as I used to even pre adderall... Thus when I get home I find my mind is still busy spinning a bit and it’s difficult to be “present”. Being present in the moment is something I am working on and hopefully I can find a way to reduce my load and still pay the bills... 

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  • 2 weeks later...

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