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KimR

I finally need to tell my doctor

8 posts in this topic

So, as some of you know, quitting has been hard for me. I recently quit, yet again, but, out of nowhere, I called my doctor for a refill. 

The problem is they needed to do a pill count. This has never happened! Maybe something new they're doing in Ohio? As far as they knew I had never stopped taking it, so I panicked. I went in and told them I had lost them and was too embarrassed to call and tell them. My doctor said he couldn't refill my dose, and that he'd contact me soon. It was at that moment I knew the jig was up. My immediate response was devastation. 

But as the days went by, I came to terms with it and actually found peace, or dare I say, found happiness. I was no longer a slave to this awful drug. 

I didn't hear from him until Monday. When I finally did I was expecting a "I can no longer be your doctor" or at least "You will not be getting any more Adderall".

Instead, he said my prescription was ready for me. SAY WHAT? I'm ashamed to say, I was there the next morning the second they opened. He did tell me he would do random pill counts for now on.

So now i realize I need to tell him. But I'm afraid. What do I say? I'm 100% dependent and addicted and I need to tell him. 

I've never had a problem with any other drug. Painkillers, benzos, etc. I have always taken as prescribed. I never ever smoke pot (okay, twice in college). I don't even drink. 

I want to make it so he will never give me a stimulant again, but I don't want to be put on some "list"  that I'm an addict and then not be able to get painkillers when I get my wisdom tooth out.

I also have children. I can't risk getting in any kind of trouble. I keep picturing CPS showing up and taking them after coming clean about my addiction. 

At least my fear of that and the law have made it so that I would never EVER find Adderall illegally, and I know myself well enough that I'll never see another psychiatrist again. 

Please. Tell me what to do. 

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9 hours ago, KimR said:

Please. Tell me what to do. 

You already answered this question with the title of your own post.

If you can't bring yourself to tell the Dr you are hopelessly addicted, make something up, like an awful side effect or possible allergy to adderall. 

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Quit Once this is a brilliant idea. Kim, If they want to give you an alternative stimulant tell them you don’t like being on stimulants that they make you feel jittery and give you a headache. 

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This past year I told him "I want off Adderall. It's just making me feel a little crazy. So... let's not ever prescribe this to me again. It's making me a different person and it's not good." 

Then I went a month and a half without it. That was until I got a crazy idea that maybe Focalin would work for me, it wasn't an amphetamine after all. So I called and asked for some. I took it for awhile and all it did was make me want Adderall back. 

He really is a good, decent guy. I just think he has a million patients and forgets stuff. When I told him Focalin was just not cutting it after all, he agreed to put me back on Adderall. 

Maybe I'll just call his office and say I no longer want to be a patient? And then maybe tell my family doctor to put in my records never to prescribe stimulants. 

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I wouldn't make up any lies.  I'd be 100% honest with him.  There are patient/doctor confidentiality laws that prevent him from running to CPS or anything like that.  As far as I know, he can't flag your name in any system that would prevent you from getting pain pills for a toothache.

I think you'd feel better about it if you told the doc your completely dependent on stimulants and there is no way possible they will ever be beneficial for you anymore.  Most of the time the thing that seems the hardest to do is the thing that needs to be done.

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5 minutes ago, Tom23Jones said:

I wouldn't make up any lies.  I'd be 100% honest with him.  There are patient/doctor confidentiality laws that prevent him from running to CPS or anything like that.  As far as I know, he can't flag your name in any system that would prevent you from getting pain pills for a toothache.

I think you'd feel better about it if you told the doc your completely dependent on stimulants and there is no way possible they will ever be beneficial for you anymore.  Most of the time the thing that seems the hardest to do is the thing that needs to be done.

Thanks for clearing that up. Quitting Adderall is hard enough, I'll just be honest with him.

Honesty is part of recovery, maybe the most important. 

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Your doctor is your drug dealer not the savior who is going to help you quit. Long as he can do it legally he will continue. Just know ethically most do not give one fuck if your addicted to adderall they need repeat customers. So stop looking for a outside force to get yourself to quit. You want your doctor to say no more tell him you have no health insurance and cannot self pay problem solved. 

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On 10/11/2018 at 4:53 PM, Tom23Jones said:

I wouldn't make up any lies.  I'd be 100% honest with him.  There are patient/doctor confidentiality laws that prevent him from running to CPS or anything like that.  As far as I know, he can't flag your name in any system that would prevent you from getting pain pills for a toothache.

this. there isn't an all connected health record system that follows you around like that (yet). unless you get a new doctor and that doctor specifically requests your records forwarded from your previous doc, the only place your admission will exist is in his own notes.

as far as i know, CPS can only be called if they actually observe any abuse, so you can put those worries aside and do the right thing (:

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