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absent_minded_professor

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Hi there,

I'm new here--just discovered this site yesterday after reading an article from a 2016 issue of the New York Times Magazine. I'll post the link at the end of this post because it's a really good article. I've been dependent on ADHD medication on and off since starting college. I'm currently teaching at a university and TERRIFIED about quitting my meds...but I also know it's something I need to do. My story feels like many of the others I've read on this site: I thought I'd found what I'd always been missing when I first started taking stimulants. But now I'm less productive and totally anti-social to boot. I've lived in this town for three years and I've barely spent any time outside my apartment aside from work. Rather than reading and writing for hours, my stimulated adhd mind now just surfs the internet and nitpicks the grammar on papers I've already written. I've lost touch with so many people and feel awkward in social spaces meeting new people. I know quitting won't solve all of these problems right away...but I know it's a first step. I feel like I've lost touch with some part of myself...and I want her back.

Here's the article: https://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/16/magazine/generation-adderall-addiction.html

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In my opinion a disconnect from ourselves is a major part of our negative experiences. A huge part of recovery is rediscovering yourself. This takes time and a dedication to work hard and commitment to helping yourself get back in touch. Many people have made great recoveries coming from positions just like yours and mine. 

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Welcome! I really identify with the anti-social part. It was always so perplexing to me that on adderall I had a surge of energy yet found it tough to convert it into sociability. That article you posted came out when I had a few months clean, I remember reading it very clearly - I'm even one of the featured NYT commenters on it! I understand that feeling of losing touch with yourself. It's a special kind of confusing hell. We're happy you're here, you can get to where you want to be. 

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19 hours ago, absent_minded_professor said:

Hi there,

I'm new here--just discovered this site yesterday after reading an article from a 2016 issue of the New York Times Magazine. I'll post the link at the end of this post because it's a really good article. I've been dependent on ADHD medication on and off since starting college. I'm currently teaching at a university and TERRIFIED about quitting my meds...but I also know it's something I need to do. My story feels like many of the others I've read on this site: I thought I'd found what I'd always been missing when I first started taking stimulants. But now I'm less productive and totally anti-social to boot. I've lived in this town for three years and I've barely spent any time outside my apartment aside from work. Rather than reading and writing for hours, my stimulated adhd mind now just surfs the internet and nitpicks the grammar on papers I've already written. I've lost touch with so many people and feel awkward in social spaces meeting new people. I know quitting won't solve all of these problems right away...but I know it's a first step. I feel like I've lost touch with some part of myself...and I want her back.

Here's the article: https://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/16/magazine/generation-adderall-addiction.html

Welcome too the forums. I found this website from another similar article: 

https://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/03/us/concerns-about-adhd-practices-and-amphetamine-addiction.html

 

Best of luck too you on your journey! 

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Before using Adderall I never had a problem with social anxiety, social insecurity, and talking in conversation. There are many side affects from chronic use of Adderall but this is the one I think I hate the most. It slowlychanges your personality to where I didn’t even want to be around family. 

Since I quit 5 months ago  I’m more aware of how isolated I become . I have more awareness of loneliness. It bothers me more now that I’m in recovery than when I was using. I want to enjoy being around people like I used to. I feel better but I still have anxiousness in social situations and in conversation. I wish there was a way to speed up the recovery but I think it takes about a year or so to reclaim this part of our personality back.

I hope you quit soon and begin your recovery. Keep us posted. Your not alone 

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https://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/03/us/concerns-about-adhd-practices-and-amphetamine-addiction.html 

I am this kid. Luckily after being pushed by psychosis and delusions just like his to the point of suicide I couldn't bare knowing what it would do to my dad and family so I went to rehab and took my antipsychotics and it's saved my life. When you're psychotic it's hard to understand for someone who has never been how real and how much sense your delusions make. 

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