Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0
giantsfan90

Committed to quitting adderall today

3 posts in this topic

Hello,

First-time poster here. I've decided today I'm going to quit Adderall. This idea has been lingering in the back of my mind for about a month now and i'm committed to quitting but anxious about the withdrawals that will surface so I appreciate all the help here....

Some background for context - I started taking adderall 3 years ago after joining a high stakes tech job in SF in November 2015. I have never been prescribed it but I have a friend who went to multiple doctors and he would sell me his other prescription. I was taking two 5mg blue pills (one at 8am and one at 3pm) daily for the last 3 years up until November 2018. Fast forward to early December 2018 and he notified me his doctor had changed and he needed to discontinue selling. I had a major freakout and spent the next week ravenously searching for another prescription I could purchase. Ultimately, I found someone willing to sell me his 20mg immediate releases, however, the anxiety and stress brought upon by the possibility of not having Adderall in my life was extremely disconcerting, to say the least, and I reflected a lot upon my dependency on it. That said, I started to take the 20mg immediate releases (orange pills) 1/4 in the morning and 1/4 in the afternoon - similarly to my old script. However, my skin started to break out immediately like never before - horrible, painful cystic acne all over my face which has caused my self-esteem to plummet where I don't want to even leave the house. I never get acne and so it's Interesting how that works among the blue versus orange pills even though they're chemically similar...but I digress. 

My concerns around my dependency and the low self-esteem brought upon by the acne has brought me here today. I'm committed to quitting but I'm very concerned that my relationships and my ability to produce at my job will suffer but I REFUSE to allow this chemical to rule my life. I lived without it before and I WILL thrive without it after. I really want to be gentle to myself and allow myself to experience the withdrawals that should come without identifying with them. I really need the resources and support when i'm not feeling ok as I don't have a significant other or approval of my family to disclose this to them. Anyways, thanks for listening and wish me luck. 

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wonder how your friend was able to obtain multiple prescriptions. Pharmacies have systems that can track this action down right away.

Good luck in your recovery. You were taking what we would call a “baby dose” each day of Adderall. It’s probably a good thing you’re quitting now. You can do it!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

hi giantsfan,

welcome to the forums! you're in the right place - i for one started the same way you did. had a friend with a script, bummed off him until i was hooked then got my own prescription. i have to imagine that Adderall is rampant in Silicon Valley culture, which makes your recovery all the more challenging.

but it's still worth it. as you mentioned, you've lived without it and you WILL thrive without it.

FYI, the acne thing is not uncommon. i preferred the pink footballs (i believe these are Teva/Barr) even though they caused pretty bad acne because they were more effective for me (for getting high, lol). each generic manufacturer uses different formulations that have different fillers which affect people differently. some are absorbed and tolerated better than others.

be kind to yourself, don't push yourself too hard and come up with a plan for work. if you can take some time off, do it! gl and keep us posted. (:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  
Followers 0