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Terrified of Quitting!


Janna Banana

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I've been taking Adderall for about a year and a half, started with 10mg a day, then I quickly started taking 10mg twice a day.  I work long hours for sometimes weeks on end and I was exhausted but wanted to prove myself at my job.  I've been taking more and more, probably up to 60-70mg a day for the past couple of weeks.  My prescription is out and there are still 12 days until I can get it refilled.  I've been reading horror stories about withdrawal symptoms and how it is dangerous to quit cold turkey.  I'm not sure what to do, I haven't told me husband, he thinks I take 10mg once a day and not on my days off.  I know I should probably talk to my doctor, but I'm embarrassed.  I can't really afford to take much time off of work to detox but this has to happen.  I don't want to be dependent on it.  it's not even working that well anymore, even when I take 40mg inside of a couple hours.  Any advice or words of encouragement would be amazing.  thanks for listening.

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@Janna Banana welcome to the forums. Once you start binging to get through long hours at work, things can start going downhill really fast. The best feedback I can give you is to stop as soon as possible, it won’t get any easier if you wait. It would also be a good idea to tell your doctor. If you don’t tell your doctor you want to quit, it’s super easy to keep refilling your prescription in moments of weakness. 

Also, quitting amphetamine cold turkey is exhausting and difficult, but not physically dangerous. If you have to keep working right now, I’d talk to your doctor about stepping your dose back down. Good luck!

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14 hours ago, DrewK15 said:

Once you start binging to get through long hours at work, things can start going downhill really fast.

pretty much this. the fact that you went from 10mg a day to 60-70 within a year is a sign that you're chasing a high. unfortunately, people don't recognize this as a "high" initially because they mistake the motivation derived from euphoria as focus/attention. they think "hey this is working!". they may even think "if it's working, it probably means i had ADHD!" the fact of the matter is, you've crossed a line with amphetamines that you can't walk back. now is the time quit. 

as @DrewK15  pointed out, quitting Adderall isn't physically dangerous, but it's going to suck. cold turkey is the most effective way to go for users with your pattern. taper is certainly an option, but it will require coming clean with your doctor. if you don't think you have the discipline to enforce the taper, you should tell your husband about this and have him dose you. in an ideal world, you would come totally clean to him... but i get it. you don't need to explain it as an "Adderall addiction", maybe just:

"my normal dose stopped working recently and i didn't realize how harmful it could be to raise my dose. i've already spoken to my doctor and he/she suggests that you regulate my dose just in case."

good luck and please keep us posted (:

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@Janna Banana, I can relate to your experience, am currently going through this myself at the moment. I’m extremely lucky in the sense that I managed to get 5 weeks leave in March and planning to detox completely. I’m regarded as a hard worker that goes above and beyond and I’m terrified I won’t be able to  function at this level anymore. I’ve realised that decreased work performance is bound to happen anyways as if you continue to up the dose, eventually you become physically and mentally unwell and won’t be able to work at all. I’ve been using only slightly longer than you have (2 yrs )and this drug has really taken its physical toll in the past 6 months. Almost 2 months ago, I began tapering my dose at work and am no longer using on my days off. It hasn’t been easy and I still have a long way to go in order to get clean but I am starting to feel less dependent on the drug since  I’ve cut back. I had to ask my psychiatrist to adjust my script so I can now only collect every 30 days as opposed to every 20 which is forcing me to ration my supply. My script expires in March so I will no longer be able to use after this. If you are unable to get time off work and worried about the acute withdrawals costing you your job, could you look at slowly cutting back the dose on work days and being strong willed and not using on days off? The general consensus seems to be that cold turkey is the best way to go but I know I wouldn’t have kept my job had I done this. I’m noticing on the days I don’t use, I am now actually able to get out of bed and do things and the withdrawals are becoming less and less. Initially I wasn’t able to get out of bed on my pill free daysKeep us posted on how your progress is going. I wish you the best and hope you can get some days off work to reset. X 

 

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On 15/01/2019 at 5:16 AM, sleepystupid said:

pretty much this. the fact that you went from 10mg a day to 60-70 within a year is a sign that you're chasing a high. unfortunately, people don't recognize this as a "high" initially because they mistake the motivation derived from euphoria as focus/attention. they think "hey this is working!". they may even think "if it's working, it probably means i had ADHD!" the fact of the matter is, you've crossed a line with amphetamines that you can't walk back. now is the time quit. 

 

@sleepystupid this sums up my experience in a nutshell! Wish I’d known back then :( 

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