nic123

Questions to learn more about side effects experienced.

5 posts in this topic

Thank you for all of you who have shared your stories and chimed in on mine. It has helped me understand my situation and what my STBX husband is experiencing.

Just wanted to ask some of questions that I am curious to learn more about from those who have experienced side effects.

From what I read progressive stimulant use can leads to confusion. While you were using were you really confused about the decisions you made? Did you ever go back and forth if you made the right decision?

Did you experience lack of willpower or lack of restraint? Did you do things very impulsively?

If you had any, what were your obsessive thoughts?

What was your paranoia? What gave you the most anxiety?

Did you mix other drugs with your medication?

I know people lose a lot of weight on Adderall, but at some point did you no longer lose weight but start gaining again?

When did it become obvious to you the stimulant use was the source your problems?

 

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@nic123 I’ll do my best to answer some of these. I experienced most all of this in one way or another. 

I had tons of willpower, but absolutely no restraint. I was so impulsive. Adderall made me very efficient at messing up my finances. Some of this was due to my state of mind in general; I pretty much did what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, without regard for consequences. In the end I went bankrupt. 

Most commonly I mixed alcohol with Adderall. There also was a time when I smoked weed almost every day, but alcohol was more convenient and easier to hide. I consider myself to be an alcoholic and quit drinking as well.

I became very serious about killing myself and almost did. That was my bottom and the point at which it was obvious my addictions were going to kill me if I didn’t stop. I decided I still wanted to live.

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11 hours ago, nic123 said:

From what I read progressive stimulant use can leads to confusion. While you were using were you really confused about the decisions you made? Did you ever go back and forth if you made the right decision?

never confused. every decision you make on adderall is the best decision you've ever made! one thing amphetamine does too well is eliminates indecision anxiety. this leads to tons of bad choices that feel great no matter the consequences. these decisions may appear confusing to others, but internally there is no confusion.

11 hours ago, nic123 said:

If you had any, what were your obsessive thoughts?  What was your paranoia? What gave you the most anxiety?

you can become obsessed with almost anything honestly. i started abusing right around the time i got my first smartphone.. long story short, i spent thousands of dollars buying smart home gadgets and trying to link my phone to anything i could find. i was obsessed with automating EVERYTHING. i've never experienced the paranoia that many here report, but it seems like a very common experience. i've certainly had my share of anxiety attacks as well, mostly around work deadlines and stuff that i was missing constantly.

11 hours ago, nic123 said:

Did you mix other drugs with your medication?

mostly marijuana daily. tons of caffeine, smoked like a chimney.. didn't drink daily, but when i did it was a truly unbelievable amount.

11 hours ago, nic123 said:

I know people lose a lot of weight on Adderall, but at some point did you no longer lose weight but start gaining again?

yes. when my binge cycles got to about 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off. those 2 weeks off i would gorge, then starve the 2 weeks on but ate tons of sugar.

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@DrewK15 Thanks for the response. I'm glad you realized your life is worth more and you didn't follow through with ending your life. I cannot imagine how you were feeling. It's sounds like it was pretty horrible for you. It seems like Adderall for a person is a big F you to everyone and everything, since you mentioned you did what ever without any consequences. How long were you using for? What kind of weed did you smoke? Was it flower or wax?

@sleepystupid Thanks for clarifying any doubts I may have about confusion. It is really sad to hear people make big decisions while abusing Adderall and think their decisions are the best choice. I cannot imagine what a person feels once they really realize what they have done. The obsession part really interests me. I have witnessed odd behavior, new hobbies, different tastes in music or goals. Your cocktail is almost exactly what my STBX .  He started doing the marijuana shatter wax, but the caffeine( 5 hour energies) ,heavy smoker, exact. Did you just smoke the flower weed or vape the wax? He really did not drink for years, but this year something changed. I'm sure he realized something when he had drink on the medicine. Maybe he liked how it made him feel, so it was something else to alter his perception. The cycle sounds also very similar. I'm sure he is at a point where he is no longer losing weight, but gaining. His diet was already horrible and man did he love sugar.

 

 

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@nic123 I used amphetamines for a total of 4 years. I mostly smoked flower. I don’t live in a legal state and was limited to whatever my dealer had at the moment. I didn’t mention nicotine and caffeine, but also used those heavily. Juul, Redbull, and Adderall was my ‘go’ cocktail. I was so messed up by the end of the day that I could rarely fall asleep unless I was drunk or stoned. It’s a vicious cycle and terrible way to live. I’m so glad to be free of that way of life. 

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