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SeanW

Experience smoking meth

11 posts in this topic

I’ve spent the day today crying.. I’ve betrayed my family, my self, and you guys - all the people who love me. I was out drinking Sunday and some guy offered me coccaine but I had to ride with him to his place. Got there and his buddy has meth out and smoking it. I was drunk so there’s wasn’t much inhibition. I’ve done so much adderall I knew what it was like to be strung out and honestly was slightly curious to compare meth to it because I’ve never smoked it and that’s a huge controversial topic of discussion. So I ripped one. It without a doubt is literally exactly like what it feels like to take a high dose of adderall, comparable to 90-100mg of adderall. I’m not looking for pity. What I did was stupid. I didn’t continue to binge or anything but I was up for the next 12 hours. I just thought for those interested in knowing, it is exactly like adderall. Adderall is meth. Dumbass people are like “adderall has one less functional group, functional groups completely change the behavior of a molecule.” Which is true in a god damn lab but once ingested its structure metabolizes and behaves almost indentical and in my case was identical to meth. I have no desire to do it again but I’ve always had this little voice when it comes to experimenting with psychoactive drugs “give it a try you’ve never done it” so I did ONCE. And never again. I know it comes with a dirty rep because it is dirty fucked up shit I just hope you guys don’t look at me differently for doing this stupid shit. Anyway, y’all have a good one, love you guys. 

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It’s only one day, Sean. I hope you’re back to a clean break, today. I’ve always been curious how meth compares to Adderall. Thanks for sharing this. 

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@SeanW

dude don't sweat it. not even lying, i'd have tried it too, simply out of curiosity. thanks for confirming our suspicions on this - it's a weird feeling of relief that our addictions are definitely as serious as meth addiction.

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I don’t see you any different brother. I’m sure I’d struggle to say no if it were in front of me, just out of curiosity. Stay strong these next couple weeks, I’m sure those old reward pathways will be trying to pull you down. 

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I’d be careful your playing with fire maybe skip out on the bar scene looks to lead to horrible decisions. Take care of yourself. 

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Thanks for the replies everybody.. just trying my best to get things going for me and every time I take a few steps forward I ended up messing up and fall back after all the progress I worked hard for. I’m really tired of all the pain and hurt. I feel like such a miserable asshole. It breaks my heart to look into the eyes of family and friends and people and they look at me with disgust and disappointment. That’s the hardest part. My heart breaks every time knowing how I’ve hurt and let them down. It’s like they think I don’t care and I’m just a piece of shit fuck up but I beat myself up all the time over it as they continue to treat me like I I actually want to hurt them like I’m heartless but it couldn’t be any further from the truth. I hurt everyday over mt mistakes and I’m god damn tired of fighting to stay alive for them. If I didn’t have family I’d have no reason to live. But anyways.. here’s to another day trying to crawl out of hell. 

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You’re right frank. My addictive personality is turning me into an alcoholic. I can’t drink anymore. 

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1 hour ago, SeanW said:

You’re right frank. My addictive personality is turning me into an alcoholic. I can’t drink anymore. 

I’m right there with you. I should probably avoid bars, but I have a passion for music...and guess where most of that takes place? Bars.

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I don't think any less of you for what you did.  In fact, if you have always been curious, it was bound to happen, especially since you've been struggling with abstinence lately.  I consider meth to be adderall's sinister sister.  Very closely related, but not exactly the same shit.  Meth is actually cheaper and easier to get than Adderall.  I have had friends "graduate" from Adderall to meth and continue their addiction for several more years, so be careful.  Personally, I tried meth several times before taking up Adderall.  I didn't like it - for me it was way too intense and I hated its side effects.  

I think your best chance for a successful recovery will be if you leave your toxic environment and start over somewhere else.  When are you planning to move to Denver?

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1 hour ago, BK99 said:

I’m right there with you. I should probably avoid bars, but I have a passion for music...and guess where most of that takes place? Bars.

Same, I play open mics and just listening to live music can take me out of all this pain

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15 minutes ago, quit-once said:

I don't think any less of you for what you did.  In fact, if you have always been curious, it was bound to happen, especially since you've been struggling with abstinence lately.  I consider meth to be adderall's sinister sister.  Very closely related, but not exactly the same shit.  Meth is actually cheaper and easier to get than Adderall.  I have had friends "graduate" from Adderall to meth and continue their addiction for several more years, so be careful.  Personally, I tried meth several times before taking up Adderall.  I didn't like it - for me it was way too intense and I hated its side effects.  

I think your best chance for a successful recovery will be if you leave your toxic environment and start over somewhere else.  When are you planning to move to Denver?

I was in Colorado all January and had to come back home to figure out what to do with my pup cause I didn’t have a yard for him in Colorado so I found a friend to take care of him. I fly back to Colorado Wednesday. I was in way better shape there. Something that has been bothering me for awhile now is when I look in peoples eyes I feel they just see a dead cold lifeless person and I can feel their distaste and how they just brush me off like my words are empty and meaningless like I have no real value to be actually listened to or paid attention too and it makes me feel like shit and terrible about myself.

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