DrewK15

Feeling Lonely

10 posts in this topic

I think I’m feeling lonely tonight so I thought I’d hop on here to say hi to you all and vent a little bit. Dealing with loneliness is somewhat of a new challenge for me in recovery. I never cared much that I was alone most of the time during my 4 years on Adderall. Now I definitely care, so I guess that’s progress? 

I have a lot of cool people in my life that I am thankful for, but no friends close to my age that are near where I live now. Most of my close friends are already married and moving into the next phase of life. I’m 27. Never been in a serious relationship. Probably a good thing I wasn’t during my Adderall years, but I feel a little old to just now be thinking about dating. I’ve been left behind and wish I could start over at 22. Oh well. Now I’m just self loathing. Things are okay with me, just hurting tonight and wanted to get it out somewhere. Have a good night guys.

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9 hours ago, DrewK15 said:

I’m 27. Never been in a serious relationship. Probably a good thing I wasn’t during my Adderall years, but I feel a little old to just now be thinking about dating.

i think it goes without saying that it's never too late, but 27 is the new 21! :lol:

i didn't meet my current gf till 30 or so - granted i had been in serious relationships before this one, but when you get around this age, things move a bit faster and smoother (perhaps its maturity, expectations or a mixture of both). you sound like a thoughtful, intelligent person so when you're ready to start dating i'm sure you won't have a problem!

i too live far enough away from my close friends that i really don't have any friends around here, but i suspect even they lived nearby, they'd be occupied with their wives / family. that's just how it goes at some point. frankly, if i'm not spending time with my gf, i'm thankful to have time to catch up on an ever growing backlog of videogames (:

 

 

 

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Hey Drew,

You are so very young at 27! My friends are all far away with kids, so I don’t have many friends here either. Everyone is too busy. It would be nice to have more people to talk to. I will be your friend!

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@DrewK15 Sorry you’re feeling lonely. But take heart, life has NOT pasted you by! Sounds to me like you’re grieving “time lost” to Adderall. Which is of course completely healthy. You’re young with your whole life ahead of you. Like you said, it’s a likely a very good thing you didn’t get involved in a relationship during your adderall years. Keep doing the right things and look for opportunities to meet someone new. Things will work out. 

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@sleepystupid @BK99 @William Thank you for the kind and encouraging words. You all are awesome! This community is a great place to turn when I’m feeling down. My spirits are much better today. I’m growing a lot by going through painful emotions without numbing myself.

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Hey Drew, have you ever tried checking out yoga? I met a few new friends that way this year. Plus its great for mental health. Side note- my brother who is also 27 has recently started yoga and brags about all the "hot chicks" he's been meeting lately (insert eye roll) if thats any motivation....anyway glad you're feeling better today. I agree this seems like an awesome community to come to and check in!

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@Kiki I do really want to check out yoga. Never have yet. I think being self conscious about working out in public and looking silly has stopped me in the past. I take myself a lot less seriously now (in a good way) so I suppose it’s time to give it a shot!

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@DrewK15 don’t worry about what others think. You will find the majority of yogis are kind, good natured people and wouldn’t make fun of someone starting out for the first time. Infact, they are likely to offer words of encouragement.  Maybe chat to the teachers and join a beginners vinyasa class as opposed to starting out with advanced power yoga until you feel you are ready. You’ll also find that most people are focussed on their own journey on the mat and completely unaware of what others are doing anyways.

I relate to how you are feeling, I’m 38 in a few months and most of my friends are married, have kids and have moved on. I feel most would judge me if I opened up to them about my addiction. The 2 I confided in have already cut me off. 

Another idea I’m thinking of is joining some meet up groups or volunteering with some animal charities. I’m not sure if that is something you might be able to do in your area? 

 

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Hey Drew-  Definitely try out yoga - I have been to yoga class twice already this week and have done it for about 7 years now.  It keeps me flexible in middle age.

I spend a lot of time on another online forum that has lots of friendly people, from all over the world, who don't like dating.

https://www.asexuality.org/en/

 

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On 3/18/2019 at 8:33 PM, DrewK15 said:

@Kiki I do really want to check out yoga. Never have yet. I think being self conscious about working out in public and looking silly has stopped me in the past. I take myself a lot less seriously now (in a good way) so I suppose it’s time to give it a shot!

yeah dude, definitely give yoga a whirl.  I've only done it at home on dvds but the people I know that go to hot yoga or any yoga classes say its changed their life.  I also recommend jiu jitsu to everyone.  Male or female, its incredible.  The bond you develop with people doing a martial art together is incredible.  It happens quick and you almost instantly feel like family.

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