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What motivates you to stay clean?

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Thought I’d check in again. I’ve finally reached the 100 days milestone however, rather than feeling this wonderful sense of achievement I’ve been struggling this past week with PAWS where I’ve suddenly started having strong cravings for my pills again. I think work has been one of the main triggers along with this gloomy cold weather we are having in Sydney. I feel completely unmotivated and have hated my job since quitting Dex amphetamines. I also haven’t been able to find the energy to go to the gym this past fortnight. 

The one thing that has stopped me from using this past couple of days is remembering what I was like during my acute withdrawal phase. I really put my family through hell and said and did a lot of things to hurt people. I also know as wonderful as it may feel to pop a pill right now, within a fortnight I will be right back where I started, taking 100mg a day of this shit and feeling nothing. 

Would love to hear everyone’s thoughts about what your personal triggers are?  What makes you want to use again and what motivates you to stay clean as opposed to giving in and popping another pill? 

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On days I was taking 100mg of Adderall, my blood pressure was at emergency room levels - really, really high. As much as I am still struggling right now, having to worry about having a stroke or heart attack isn’t high up on my list anymore like it was when I was poppin.

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I stay motivated to keep clean because of the peace of mind it offers.  The relief of not having to count pills and wonder where your going to get more when you run out. And stress over where your going to get money to get those pills.  It was chaos.  Also the peace of mind mentioned above, not having to worry about having a stroke or heart attack.  At the end it was a complete obsession, there was nothing fucking fun about it.  I'd have constant panic/anxiety attacks and still kept popping them like candy. Fucking insanity.

But I never have to resort to that bullshit again.  Today I'm grateful for the calmness and clarity I have.  So much more time and energy to put towards myself, my family, my health instead of thinking about a drug every waking minute.

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This is a great thread. Here are my top three motivations for quitting.

1.) Anhedonia - I want to feel genuine enjoyment again in life activities. I want to feel real happiness again. 

2.) Family - I want my kids and wife to know and love me as I truly am, not the false self created by artificially manipulated dopamine levels. 

3.) Work - I want to feel genuine pride in my work knowing that I have reached my goals due to my own persistence, hard work, and determination.

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This kind of poll has undoubtedly been done before, but I think itd be a good time to do it again to get more up to date information.
What desktop do you use? If you use several, choose the one you use the most.

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I do believe that everything is connected and that we all come from the same source. However, I am not sure if we are all one, anyway, what does oneness mean to you?

Thanks

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I thank you yer reply. I know thats what I should do and im tryin but I want to get in my head and tell them the truth.as I see it of course.lol

https://real-shopper.club/threads/reduslim-reduslim-moj-realnyj-otzyv.312/ - http://img.real-shopper.club/reduslim.php?reduslim-otzyvi.jpg ;-)

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After quitting I was able to have healthier relationships with my family, friends, and partner. These alone would keep me from going back.

Also sleeping at night is nice :D

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Sleep. Not ever being embarrassed at the pharmacy again. Counting pills. The shame and guilt. The feeling that I couldn’t do anything without the pills.  No more running out. No more late insomnia nights w/ morning stomachache. If I could just read this a thousand times I’d never crave again right? Geez it’s actually amazing all that is gone now. 7 months 26 days today. Reminding myself of the hellish part is always good.  

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6 hours ago, m34 said:

Sleep. Not ever being embarrassed at the pharmacy again. Counting pills. The shame and guilt. The feeling that I couldn’t do anything without the pills.  No more running out. No more late insomnia nights w/ morning stomachache. If I could just read this a thousand times I’d never crave again right? Geez it’s actually amazing all that is gone now. 7 months 26 days today. Reminding myself of the hellish part is always good.  

Actually at one point in my recovery I got a prescription for Wellbutrin to help me with the fatigue. The first dose I took felt like a very mild version of adderall (the anxious racy sort of feeling) and it was enough for me to remember how god awful the sleepless nights were on Adderall. 

So yeah I would agree, remembering the hellish parts of adderall does help. Congrats on 7 months! On those days you get discouraged, keep in mind the benefits from quitting continue to get better even after a whole year of quitting! It’s gradual, but one day you are going to be very happy.

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Thank you @NaterS. I just have to keep moving forward. Your words are motivating. It’s nice to know that it keeps getting better. My mind has been pretty stuck this last couple weeks. Just have to remind myself to hang on. I wish I quit years ago. Your story is inspiring appreciate the share!

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