m34

Unexpected Triggers and Coping

4 posts in this topic

I am 7 months and 28 days clean today. I started a new job 6 weeks ago. It took me about three weeks to adjust to working. I'm back doing what I was doing before (when I was on Adderall. )  different company. I noticed my coworkers were  bouncing off the walls from day 1. I thought in the back of my mind they were both on Adderall. Then I let it go. I just assumed that my energy is so low that everyone seems high on life compared.  

However, now that they've gotten more comfortable with me they have separately admitted they are on it in a joking manner. Since I've found out (officially) Ive been so triggered. The other day it took all my will power to not ask for one. What did I expect that I would return to my Adderall filled world with no one on it? 

 I'm not planning on getting back on. Just venting because I have no one to share this with. If anyone has had similar experiences Id love to know. Is the whole damn world just on Adderall? 

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Totally relate on this one. When I first got clean thought EVERYONE was on it! Truthfully, a lot of people are. Super triggering. I can’t speak for you, but the way i dealt with it is by telling myself that while others might be able to handle taking it (in moderation!) I simply wasn’t one of those people. And there are probably lots of things I can do successfully that those same people can’t. It’s just a matter of chemistry, and you’re totally allowed to have feelings about it. Just don’t let that trick you into thinking you can use like them!

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Today was a huge trigger for me. So crazy you posted about this right now. The last time I was in the classroom teaching I had Adderall. Today was the first day EVER that I’ve been teaching in a classroom without it. I wasn’t expecting the trigger, but it sucks...

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Good point @Sleepyandsober. The last two yrs I was on it was a downward spiral. It was like it stopped working.  I just kept taking more just to feel sort of productive and normal. I tried month after month to get back to the prescribed dose. I would always find a reason to take another half etc. You are absolutely right. I just need to tell myself that over and over. They can have it all they want. 

 

@BK99Too bad we don’t work together. I could really use an ally.  It is very triggering. I also keep telling myself this is temporary. We are perfectly capable of doing anything in life off adderall. It’s just boring AF... lol

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